Monday, September 15, 2014

THE TEASING GAME (SECRET:1 step forward, 2 steps back)

Hello Lion's and Lionesses. been battling with inspiration and time due to the recent loss i suffered but i have to leave you guys with this top secret I've known and used for years to get women to practically throw themselves at me. 

The secret Method of Taking a step forward and two steps backwards. You still don't get it ya? Lemme explain... Years ago a friend told me that if you slap someone with your bare

hand, you will feel as much pain as the person you slapped. And

it's true because the nerve receptors in your hand cannot tell the

difference if it's doing the slapping or if it's being slapped.

(This is probably why my mom preferred to beat me with a broom.)

Let me explain how this concept applies to the game.

I was at a gig with a girl I had been on one date with. We hadn't

had sex yet but I definitely wanted to. When I look back in my

dating history at the girls that really got me going, I noticed they

were all very good at teasing me. 

These girls knew how to restrain themselves and postpone some

pleasure now for more pleasure later. I understood this concept and

was beginning to use it on girls, but I would often give in early

because I was impatient and horny.

I didn't fully understand that the anticipation of intimacy is more

arousing than intimacy itself. Therefore anticipation of a kiss is

more arousing than the kiss itself. You can suck face with someone

for one hour, but after sometime you will get less from that kiss until your lips go numb and you don't feel like kissing anymore. In fact the best way to make a girl horny is to kiss her LESS and build

sexual tension that begs to be relieved in the bedroom.

My date and I already kissed before so there wasn't going to be any

major surprise , but what I would do is get very close to her lips and barely brush against them with mine without kissing her, and then pull back. Her head would follow me back, until she realized I wasn't going to kiss her. She would smile and I would smile, and we'd take a sip of our drink and i would watch her dance a little more.

That night I did the pull-back game for almost TWO HOURS without kissing her once, until I was ready to explode (remember that when you tease someone, you tease yourself by the same amount). But she had no idea that I was going through a harder time than she was because I did my best to put on a relaxed facade.

Let me sidetrack real quick and mention that this idea works with

emotions too. It's impossible not to feel the emotions you try to

make others feel. If you want a girl to fall in love with you, and

you seduce her successfully, you will also fall in love with her to a certain degree. Knowing this is incredible because it says that you can feel whatever emotion you try to create in others. 

For example if I want to feel passion, I just have to make someone

else feel it. If I want to feel love, I just have to make someone

else feel love. Unfortunately many people unknowingly use this for

negative emotions such as jealousy, fear, and anger.

Back to the story. I drove my date home and in my bedroom she gave me absolutely no resistance. She let me do whatever I wanted to do and for that night her body was mine in any way I desired.

After that incredible night, does it mean I can stop teasing her?

Of course not! No matter how far along the relationship we are,

both of us have to keep the sexual tension tight to keep the good

feelings going. The moment either of us stops putting in work to

induce maximal pleasure is the moment the relationship will become stale. Because anyone can just keep making out. But not many cannot.

The only way I learned how to tease a girl was by taking notes on

all the girls I was hooking up with. If what they did felt really good to me, I figured it would feel good to a girl as well. Most of what I learned about how to please women and satisfy them actually comes from girls.

Before you can get to the point where you are teasing and kissing a

girl, you need to know how to build attraction. I used to live in

my own personal hell because there would be a girl I liked but I

had no idea how to build attraction, no idea how to kiss her, and

no idea how to get her in bed. I had the desire, but I didn't have

the knowledge because my toolbox was completely empty. It took me years to learn that knowledge, and am more than happhy to share it with you my friends.. so stay tuned and always keep your game tight.
 Your friend, 



Tuesday, July 15, 2014


Its always good to get feedback, it encourages writers... take a look at this..

"Hi Chris and friends at The Lions Den,

I was thinking you should write an article on how to deal with the boyfriend of a potential girlfriend or crush in social situations.

Imagine the following scenario: You know this girl from work or school. You like her. She likes you. You flirt with each other. The only problem? She has a long term boyfriend. Or alternatively, you meet a girl who has brought her boyfriend with her at a party.

Either way, a social situation arises in which she presents her boyfriend to you (for example at a party to test you, or out of pure coincidence).

How do you handle the boyfriend? How do you demonstrate that you are a more dominant, superior, a better man, and that she would be better off with you?

Hope you consider this!"


Hehehehe.... This will be fun ya?..... Simply put this bro is asking how to successfully snatch or steal someones girlfriend. 
Now wait wait ... before you go all holier than thou on him (or me), lets remember that its a free world when it comes to dating and relationships. you cant stop or judge a man for trying. 

        However, is this possible to do?... Sure. Is it something you can consistently pull off? ... well, let's just say.. count whatever your normal success rate is at picking up, and reduce that a little bit because now you're trying to out-compete the girl's boyfriend; however, if you can pull this off with a girl who wants you to steal her from her man (we'll talk about these girls and why they want this in a bit), in this case you can actually achieve a higher degree of consistency at snatching... assuming you handle logistics properly.

But before we discuss doing this, let's talk a little about the scenario itself, and any potential moral implications... because I don't have fun making good people cry, and I hope you don't either.
And that brings us to the Moral Angle.

My general stance on sleeping with "attached" women.
there is ALWAYS going to be SOME man who's going to be upset that you slept with some woman if he finds out about it. He might be a boyfriend; he might be a husband; he might be a guy in her friend zone who's been "working on her" for weeks or months or years now; he might be a guy who's taken her on three dates; he might be her friend with benefits who wants the relationship to be something more. He might be her ex-boyfriend or ex-husband.
Someone, somewhere, has called dibs on her... and he's going to be furious that you slept with "his" woman.
              However, usually, if a woman is sleeping with you... she doesn't see herself as HIS woman. She views herself as "A" woman... but as to whom she "belongs", her opinion is generally, "I belong to ME, and I will do whatever I want with whomever I want to do it."
Obviously, there's a bit of a disconnect, then, between what SHE thinks she's allowed to do with herself, what HE thinks she's allowed to do with herself... and what YOU think she's allowed to do with herself (and with you)... i hope i am communicating.
And you're going to have to choose whom you're teaming up with: this girl who wants to sleep with you, or this guy who wants her not to.


If you are a sexy man, good at turning women on and creating sexual tension, of course any woman who sleeps with you is going to want to sleep with you, then and there in the moment.
If she didn't want to right then, she wouldn't do it.
If you're aiming to be morally responsible, however, the question you ought to be asking yourself is, "How is she going to feel about having slept with me later on down the line?"
Almost every girl who's ever found out about an affair says the same thing to her partner: "It was a mistake. I never should have done it."
Yet, many times this is said without it being meant (or, occasionally, the woman will just spitefully say, "Yes, I did it - and I'm GLAD I did it!").
If she's going to be looking back on her night with you and smiling to herself, feeling a bit lighter on her feet, a bit happier in her heart, and a bit more relieved in her loins, you've done a good thing for her.
However, if she's going to be blaming herself, cursing herself, and sorry she did it, that's when you put the brakes on sleeping with a girl in any circumstance, attached or not. In this case, if she's going to feel bad about herself for sleeping with you because she genuinely loves her guy, or because her identity is as a "good girl" and this causes her an inordinate amount of cognitive dissonance, it's better to scrub the lay and throw her back into the pond.
How do you recognize attached women who are going to regret sleeping with you later? Across the board, they:
  • Are sexually inexperienced (experienced women who stray from monogamous relationships simply aren't bothered by it - if they are, they don't let it happen)
  • Are not very sexual women (no sexy smiles, eye contact, heavy flirtation, seductive behavior, etc.)
  • Are genuinely in love with their boyfriends (usually in the first six months to a year of their relationships... even inexperienced girls past a year, if they are sleeping with you, usually are doing this because they've gotten an "itch" and don't feel bad about it)
  • Are putting up a wall of resistance to sex when you try to escalate physically and take them to bed
In other words, if she's young and inexperienced and clearly loves her boyfriend and is giving you a mountain of resistance to sleeping with you, let her go. If she's older though... or more experienced with men... or not so in-love with her man anymore... or dripping with carnal sensuality or lust... or easy to get in bed... she's not going to regret it.
A rule of thumb for assessing whether to proceed with an attached girl: if you hit a huge wall trying to move things forward with her, and she isn't overly sexy or sensual, and clearly is young and inexperienced, it's best to call it off, even if you know you could get it, because she'll end up having a hard time and going through some identity-level difficulties not long after.
Otherwise, though, she knows what she's doing, and if she doesn't get it from you, she's going to get it from someone else (and, the way it typically works with women who sleep with other men while in relationships, she's probably going to be getting it from you AND someone else)


There are two kinds of "karma", I believe:

  1. Guilty karma
  2. Behavioral karma
The first is what you get when you do something you feel bad about. You start obsessing about it, becoming afraid of being found out about having done it, and end up sabotaging your own life from guilt - karma, they say.
The second is what you get if you behave in a certain antisocial way that gains you some advantages, at other (usually long-term) costs. Extreme psychopaths are a good example of this kind of "karma" - they're very, very good at maximizing their short-term outcomes... you will never meet anyone better at getting the best possible short-term outcome as a psychopath (basically, someone who is unable to feel the emotions of others, and thus views other people completely without a shred of empathy, simply as objects to be used to best ability for his own benefit). The tradeoff for a psychopath though is that he's terrible at planning for the long-term and unable to properly consider long-term consequences of his actions - it's why he's so good at the short-term; short-term is his sole focus, unlike those of us trying to juggle the here-and-now with what lies ahead. As a result, psychopaths have frequent blowups and falling outs in their relationships long-term... again, something some might call karma.
However, these are two very different kinds of "karma": one comes from guilt, which is based on conscience; the other comes from the consequences of one's same actions that generated the benefit. karma is supposed to "punish" him for - for instance, long-term negative effects of positive short-term outcomes (spend your money on a new laptop today and feel great; have no money for food the whole next month and go hungry).
Assuming you have some measure of empathy, the kind of karma that poses the biggest threat to you here is that of guilt; so, if you feel guilty about sleeping with an attached woman, don't do it.

Personally, I feel no guilt if the woman clearly wants it and has no problems with it. I don't know the guy, nor why one man is not enough for her; I don't know the nature of their relationship, any "arrangements" they might have, or anything else, nor do I care to know. If I spent too much time trying to guess what a hundred different people might think about a girl and I sleeping together and if any of them would be hurt or offended or whatnot, I'd go crazy before I ever slept with anyone.

However, if I know the girl is going to feel bad about sex with me, that's one I cannot stand. I've had a few women I have inadvertently hurt - not girls with boyfriends, but girls who simply had the wrong expectations about sex with me, and/or I had not done a good enough job of setting the right ones for this. Those still weigh on my conscience, and believe it or not, have come back to bite me again through my own guilt-altered behavior. I'd advise you to avoid at all costs anything that might hurt a girl if you can do it, even if purely for your own selfish good (though hopefully for hers, too).

Whether due to your own guilty conscience or, in the case where you are lacking in the empathy department, your short-term-only focus on leading your life, karma's a bitch.
And she doesn't like being ignored.
So keep an eye on her, and try not to make her angry.

The first thing to realize about women you steal from under the boyfriend's nose: they know exactly what they are doing, and they get off on having you cuckold their men.
It took me a while to realize it. I cut my teeth at Indulge bar around a girl like this, and nearly stole her right in front of her boyfriend, but backed off when I saw how hurt and angry he was and assumed she was probably just too drunk and not being herself.
Later, after much more interaction with women like this, I realized she knew what she'd been doing.
Why do women enjoy letting other men cuckold their men with them, and how do you steal a girl like this when she presents herself to you?

Screening, and Power Plays

About six months after I got a Job, I met an incredibly spunky, sexy young (but older than me)  girl, with whom I had a very good vibe going on. We traded numbers; and she invited me out to a pool get together of sorts a week or two later.
I showed up, and it was her, her best friend, the best friend's boyfriend... and her boyfriend.
I was flummoxed (don't bother checking) and disappointed. Also, somewhat stumped. Here was this girl I'd met, a total wild, crazy sexpot, and... there was her mild-mannered boyfriend.
Young, preppy haircut.
Real warm, friendly, nice guy demeanor.
Turned out she was living in his house, and driving a car he'd bought her.
All right, that's just weird, I thought. I don't know what the deal is with this.
I hadn't been expecting it, so I sort of backed off. I ended up making friends with the other couple, and learned from them later that the girl I'd met used to always introduce men she'd met to her boyfriend before she slept with them...(see amebo)  and then sleep with those men immediately after.
Whoops!; I'd botched it. I had kind of, sort of, felt like that might be what was going on... but it was just so strange and bizarre for early 2009 me. I wrote it off and said, "Nah... my read's gotta be wrong. That'd just be weird."

Of course, as I started hanging out with that other couple, the girl, who'd initially been rather cold to me,(cuz her man was there perhaps) started heating up.
Then up, and up.
I debated about whether to sleep with this friend of the class sexpot, but I had a girlfriend staying at my place temporarily. It got to the point that we'd be out at a dinner, just the four of us, and the other girl would be reaching across under the table rubbing my feet with hers.
I realized then - and I've seen and confirmed since - that some attached women parade their boyfriends in front of you before moving ahead with you for two reasons:

  1. A power play. They simply feel powerful knowing that their boyfriend or husband is right there, right in front of the man they are going to sleep with later, and he probably suspects it, but there is nothing he can do about it. If he accuses them, they'll deny, and act insulted he could even think such a thing, shaming him back into grudging silence. Why do they do this? Usually because the guy was too controlling, and they are "punishing" him by making his worst fear happen, right in front of him. Obviously, the women who do this are pretty vindictive people themselves, too - but they'll be all feminine charms and grace with you
  2. A screening tool. The other reason women do this? If you can hang with her and her man, and still be cool, and not crack, and still move things forward with her ANYWAY after this, in a cool, seductive way... you're just about the sexiest man she's ever met. Most guys don't have the balls to stay cool and pull this off (like I didn't early on... in fact, I wasn't able to pull this off until late 2008) - they either get moralistic about it, or second-guess themselves, or are intimidated by the fact that the girl has a boyfriend. So all the lesser men screen themselves out, and the girl is just left with the coldest, hardest, most bad boy players there are, who aren't fazed one bit by the boyfriend, and the sex is about 20 times more exciting for her because she knows how hard these guys have been screened and tested... they are the manliest men, with the best genes imaginable. And she cums hard during sex ( not about to write a romantic novel).
So don't think that a girl who's parading her man about with her, then going off and flirting heavily with a bunch of other men in the bar or the party or the nightclub is doing that simply because she's social, or flirty. She knows what she's doing. And so does he... but he's powerless to stop it.

And don't think that a girl who starts touching you and escalating with you when her boyfriend isn't looking has simply fallen prey to your charms... she has, but if it wasn't you, it would've been somebody else. You're good, in that you got her, and not someone else, but you didn't cause her to start looking around for someone to meet in front of her boyfriend... she did that herself.

How to Steal a Girl from Under Her Boyfriend's Nose

So now you know she's not some innocent, easily-swayed and clueless little girl, but rather a sharp, cunning fox, out on the prowl, and knowing exactly what she's doing... and whom she's looking for.
How do you steal a girl like this from her (probably controlling, over-protective, and perhaps unfaithful himself) boyfriend?
Here, there are four (4) keys:

  1. Discretion
  2. Dominance
  3. Focus
  4. Logistics
... and here's how they each play out:

  1. Discretion: the name of the game here. Remember that as the lover, you are 100% expendable. Threaten to cause an ounce of drama for her, and she will have zero qualms about dissing you to preserve her social standing. That means you must be civil with the boyfriend; you must not create problems; you must not flirt too overtly with her in front of the boyfriend or any friends of hers who are not completely on board with her plans (typically, her closest friends only). Some girls are okay texting with you; some will ask you not to text them, because their boyfriends will see it and check (the further along into full-on rebellion the girl is, the fewer qualms she'll have about you texting her to arrange dates or set up logistics). On the plus side, you can propose things with her fast (but still smooth), because you won't have much time to do this, or much free opportunity, and she recognizes this and will conspire with you to do that (e.g., sneak out back with you, off to the side of the bar, meet by the bathrooms in 5 minutes, etc.).
  2. Dominance: this is more social dominance than it is physical dominance, or even verbal dominance. That means you know how to deal with it if the boyfriend attempts to tool you, you follow the Law of Least Effort ( Basically means that the person who *appears to put the least amount of effort out, while getting the largest amount of effort returned to him by others, comes across as the most socially powerful. *Note the italics around the word “appears” in that bolded section. We aren’t necessarily talking about the person who is actually, literally trying the least, but rather the person who is able to accomplish the most with the appearance of putting in the least amount of work.
    )in what you do and visibly appear more dominant than he does by comparison. And above all, you're clearly not intimidated by him. If you go overboard, however, and attempt to shame him, mock him, or intimidate him, you will force the girl to defend him so as not to appear to be too openly moving against him, which usually dooms your cause. So don't attack; simply look stronger and better in your own space, and deftly deflect any attempts to belittle you that he throws your way.
  3. Focus: your focus clearly needs to be on stealing away with her, meeting up with her later, or otherwise finding time to connect with her, soon. It's very okay (and often advisable) to make it a "conspiracy" between the two of you; each of you know the other is playing a role in front of the boyfriend, but behind the scenes, the two of you are working together to try to bring yourselves together without his knowing it as soon as possible. Keep your focus on this, and don't get confused into thinking your focus is to dominate the boyfriend socially, or win over the friend group, or anything like this. Losing focus kills you here, because attached women are looking for focused men who move fast, and their attraction tends to expire fast for any man who doesn't meet these standards.
  4. Logistics: ... must be handled. You'll find that attached women can often be more down for wild and unconventional sex logistics than many single women will - this is because they have zero considerations of maintaining a "good girl" image with you (obviously, at least for you, they are not "good" girls), because they feel the very real time constraints they are working against (to get you inside of them before the boyfriend starts looking for them), and because the fact that the two of you are uniting in such a delicious conspiracy against the oppressive and stifling boyfriend/husband is so damn exciting for them. Almost anything will do here - bathrooms, cubby holes (nkoro), alleyways. I have a friend who met a girl outside a nightclub, mad at her boyfriend, and immediately pulled her behind his car and had sex with her then and there, not four minutes after meeting her. She then went back into the club to go rejoin her boyfriend, a big smile on her face.
how to steal a girl
... oh, and in case any of this is leaving you freaked out about your OWN girlfriend(s), would write something soon to help you be on your guard:

Being the Other Guy

Personally, I prefer not to ask women about their relationship statuses. If she has a boyfriend, I'd rather not know. All I want to know is that she and I are two people who like each other, so let's go do what we'd like to do with one another. If she has a man she's promising exclusivity to... that's her business.

So, I do my best to stay off the topic of current relationships with girls. Past relationships are okay if you do them right... but be careful of digging too much here, because some girls will start feeling like they need to "confess" their currents to you if you do. Better simply not to know - then when you get the phone call from the hurt or angry partner or spouse later (as I have, at times), you can honestly tell the guy, "Hey man, I had no idea. She seemed cool to me."

Wrapping up, is this okay? Is it okay to sleep with an attached girl?
Everyone's of his own mind about this. I personally don't like sleeping with women if I meet their boyfriends or husbands and the guy is a legitimately nice guy (like that sweater-vest guy the girl was seeing... from what the couple she introduced me to told me, her boyfriend had rescued her out of poverty and helped her kick a drug problem - doesn't pay to be a white knight, fellas. I think he found out years later about the gangbangs she was having with her ex and his drugheads in Lagos, kicked her out, and took the car back, if memory serves).
But if the guy's clearly controlling and not a nice guy? If it's what the girl wants, I don't have qualms with it these days.
Just make sure she's not innocent and head-over-heels with him - but this is pretty easy to tell. Don't ruin something pure - if it's already ruined though, and she's just looking for some release, this is a gray area, but it's one where I feel it's pretty safe saying you're probably okay from a moral standpoint of just going for it. She wants it; she's going to get it somewhere; and the guy knows it's going on, and probably knows he drove her to it, too.
But if you have a choice? Just don't even ask her status. If you don't ask, you don't have to steal a girl from under her boyfriend's nose... then you're just picking up a girl who likes you, and the fact that some jealous guy is over there burning daggers into the back of your skull is irrelevant; you like her, she likes you, and that's about as pure as love, sex, and romance get.

And i'll talk to you again soon... (i hope)

Your friend 

 Kindly use the facebook comments instead of the default one thanks. (THE LIONS DEN)
Twitter and Instagram: @chrisxleonhart
Facebook Page: Chrisking Leonhart
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Wednesday, May 21, 2014


                                      READER DISCRETION: MEN ONLY + OPINIONATED TOPIC.
Friends and partners in crime *winks
Took a long break but now i am back and refreshed...
Guys always ask on how not to screw up a first date.... well.
Here are a few pointers. And thanks to Roosh, they may not all work for you. But like i said... they are pointers. If you're a reader of THE LION'S DEN I'd expect you've at least left the "wuss zone". So understanding this shouldn't be a task and putting them to good use would just be your pleasure.

Besides the actual act of sex, first dates are the most enjoyable
part of the game. It's where two people who barely know each other
are alone and isolated with a cloud of sexual tension lingering in
the air. Here's a few tips to turn that sexual tension into a

 Don't try to have a first date on a weekend,
especially if you haven't kissed her yet. Weekend dates send the
wrong message that you value her too much and are ready to give a
"primetime" night to someone you just met. Instead stick to Monday
through Thursday for the first date. My favorite day for first
dates are Wednesdays, because what girl is busy on a Wednesday
 Sure you can have great conversation by
taking girls out to dinner and ice cream dates, but if your goal is
to bang as fast as possible, you MUST do a drinks date. A great
time to schedule it is 9pm as that will cue her to eat beforehand,
saving you money.
Even if your drinks date is short of a blockbuster, it's very hard
not to get at least a make out if she's had three or more drinks in
her. In fact one way to know that she doesn't like you is if she
refuses to have more than one drink.
There is no way you can memorize enough routines for a
date that lasts two hours or more, and even if you could it would
be a stupid waste of energy. You're going to have to be REAL and
this is where I hope your vibe is fun and interesting. If not then
dates will be a challenge
I prepare for dates by having several fun routines ready, usually The Concentration Game (ask each other popular questions that have several answers, first who fails to answer or forgets or repeats an answer gets to drink a shot of vodka) This is fun and makes them drink....letting their guard down. however only really fun girls would try this on a first date. Other routines exist too. I also remind myself of touching moves and body language that prime her for the kiss.
Quick Tip (potheads will interpret this differently) : On your way to dates call up a couple friends and shoot the shit with them for a while. Since first dates are mostly a talking affair, you want that part of your brain to be ready. The worst thing you can do is lounge around at home all day in front of  your computer/phone and then go out on a date without having done any talking beforehand.
It's natural to be nervous, especially with
the pressure of getting laid hanging over your head. But I
guarantee you she is more nervous than you are, simply because
she's a girl and is programmed to stress about everything. I can't
be the only person who knows girls who can't even go to a public
bathroom without a friend. 
The more you have your internal game straightened out and believe a girl should prove her value to you, the less you will be nervous
yourself. Think of her on a stage, twirling and spinning for your
pleasure. Whether this is reality or not doesn't matter... just
believe it.
I'm always AT LEAST five minutes late, though I
try to hit ten minutes. You want to stir up some anxiety and fear
that she's being stood up so that she thinks about her insecurities
("Am I not pretty enough?") instead of yours. 
Even if you arrive early, mill around in the parking lot or
wherever for a while until you're late. The upper limit of lateness
to where the girl gets seriously pissed off is around fifteen
minutes, so try to keep it under that.
  The best way to do this is by touching her
more and more as the date progresses. First you start with innocent
touches on her forearm or shoulder, then you graduate to touching
her hands after the half-hour mark, then you wrap your arm around
her waist. Next thing you know your heads are mere inches apart and the kiss is a foregone conclusion.
I believe that kissing results more because of touching than
because of interesting conversation. Think of it this way:
conversation makes her feel comfortable with you touching her, and....
touching makes her feel comfortable with you kissing her. Sometimes
you can kiss a girl with touching alone.
  Even if you don't think you will get the
bang on the same night, it's still prudent to go for it. The reason
is because it makes your job much easier for the second date. The farther you get on the first date, the less work you have to do on the second. 
Even if the first date goes well, you can't make the assumption
there will be a second. How about if her long lost ex-boyfriend
calls the next day? How about if her friends cock-block you? Then
you'll kick yourself in the ass that you didn't push it. Always go
for the bang and I'm confident you'll be surprised at how far you
As you've probably noticed, most of the work in having a great
first date is done before you even show up. A little preparation
for them goes a long way, especially if you consider that it takes
quite a bit of work to meet a new girl and then get her out. Don't
blow it by not preparing yourself.
I learned these date tips by going on A LOT of dates. I'm sure I've
been on at least 100 first dates, in parks, bars, clubs,
bookstores, coffee shops, museums, malls, ice cream parlors,
pastries, and my bed-room, to name a few. 
I've tried it all, and through my experiences have figured out some
seemingly "obvious" things like how a common neighborhood bar is the best place to have a date as long as you can sit close to her.
There's the big things in-game like having the optimal attitude or
the best opening line, but the small things count too because they
quickly add up and make getting laid a lot easier. 
As always, i leave you with a funny picture to study and ponder upon.

Always your Manchi!

Thursday, April 17, 2014

RAPE 101

This is a Bloggersville Exclusive Short Drama on the recently concluded (but lifetime) campaign . #SayNoToRape
              __click the character names for their sites and handles__

RAPE 101
1. What is rape?
2. Who can be raped?
3. What factors contribute or lead to rape (why rape?)
4. What are the short/Long term effects of rape?
5. What does the law say?

Dr. Rufus:    Good day class, am Dr. Rufus and am going to be your new guidance counselor.

CLASS:     Good morning Dr. Rufus.

Dr. Rufus:  Who can tell me the main story in last night’s news-line.

FEMI: the boy who picked money on the floor and turned to a tortoise.

Dr. RUFUS:  no…. not that one.

SHAI: the man who was raped to death by 6 women.

Dr. Rufus:  great! That’s the one.
Now, we are going to discuss about “rape”.
Who can tell me what rape means?

ELSIE: Rape is when a man forcefully has sex with a woman.

Dr. Rufus: that is correct, and straight to the point. But is there anyone with a better and more expansive definition?
No one?
Remember the news said a man died of rape from six (6) women? So Elsie’s definition is rather one sided don’t you think?

So, we will start today’s discussion class by answering those five questions on the board. Answering each question will help answer the next.

Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse, which is initiated by one or more persons against another person without that person's consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion, abuse of authority or against a person who is incapable of valid consent, such as one who is unconscious, incapacitated, drugged or below the legal age of consent.
The elements that form the definition of rape under the ICC Statute are that:
  • "The perpetrator invaded the body of a person by conduct resulting in penetration, however slight, of any part of the body of the victim or of the perpetrator with a sexual organ, or of the anal or genital opening of the victim with any object or any other part of the body."
  • "The invasion was committed by force, or by threat of force or coercion, such as that caused by fear of violence, duress, detention, psychological oppression or abuse of power, against such person or another person, or by taking advantage of a coercive environment, or the invasion was committed against a person incapable of giving genuine consent."

Is that clear?

CLASS: Yes Sir!!!!

Dr. Rufus: Good… now to question 2.

A: Male to Female B: Female to Male C: Male to Male D: Female to Female.

That is to say, the categories of people that can be raped are as follows:

I) Strangers
II) wife/husband (spouse)
III) Friend/Acquaintance
IV) Child/Ward
V) Steward/Slave
VI) A Date
VII) Prisoner

We will stop there….for sake of time and space, any questions on Number 2?

TOPE: But Sir, we are aware that penetration is a pre-requisite to establish a case of rape, how does Female to Male and Female to Female come in here?

SHUGHAR: Sir, am a little confused about Category VII: Prisoner, is it the same with Category V of Slave?

Dr. RUFUS: Ok… who can help them…?

XAVIER: I think the provision in the first part of the ICC statute describing rape would answer Tope’s question if looked at critically. It explains that there is an invasion of a body (whether male or female) by the perpetrator, however slight of any sexual part of either the victim OR the perpetrator which means if the perpetrator is a woman and the victim a man, the penetration of his organ into hers still amount to rape by her! Also the tongue and fingers are included when it said “of any part of the body of the victim or of the perpetrator with a sexual organ, or of the anal or genital opening of the victim with any object or any other part of the body." I think that covers the Female to Female part.

Dr. RUFUS: Excellent! Am impressed already, the Female to female mostly happens in our Boarding schools and Prisons but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
And to answer your question young lady (Shughar). Slave Rape happened a lot in the past during the colonial Era and in places where people are bought and sold as Slaves to wealthy families or Merchants etc. While Prison Rape as the name implies happens in the confines of a cell or prison by a person’s cell mate or Prison Warden Etc. It’s not so far from Slave rape in War times when hostages are taken as POW’s (prisoners of War). Much will be explained in the next Question.

 Dr. RUFUS: To be able to understand the factors that contribute to rape one must first discuss the possible types of rape so we will do it together …let’s start from you Chris... Name and explain any type of rape you know.

CHRIS: GANG RAPE sir, usually by a number of men over a woman or a number of women over a man. This often happens when there is for instance an armed robbery and the robbers decide to rape the female victims and also in some cases where a man marries many wives and they connive to rape him like in last night’s news-line story.
          My uncle Babaolowo also told me a story of how some girls raped a boy who helps them get water. He calls the story A victim of the Gods.

Dr. RUFUS: Am curious as to how they achieved it.

CHRIS: from the story am guessing he was drugged because he accepted a cup of juice from a girl even though he didn’t see her open it or open it himself. Very wrong.

CEEFOUR: Sir another one is SPOUSE or MARITAL RAPE.
When a man/woman who is bound by marriage does not want to engage in sex with his/her partner and the other forces themselves in or devices a means to still have sex with said partner against their wish.
The man on last night’s news bit was a victim of this type of rape too. God rest his soul.

ELSIE: He asked for it, how will you marry 6 wives and keep in one house yet you will still be denying them conjugal rights because u still keep mistresses outside.

Dr. RUFUS: but does that make raping him right? Is rape ever right?

ELSIE: Any woman that rapes her husband is in her right oo.. for me.
      The real question here should be “why would a man rape his wife”

Dr. Rufus: Some Civilizations don’t even observe that as a crime. They believe in ultimate submissiveness of the wife to a husband which entails she be at his beck and call and never deny him conjugal satisfaction.

ELSIE: Such archaic and unreasonable cultures shouldn’t exist now?

BAMI: they do oh…and even in recent times if you notice the outlook to the issue by the religious clerics, police and the courts you will understand that they still promote such beliefs indirectly.

WALTER: it’s unfortunate, if for any reason your spouse refuses you sex when previously your drive was good. Its high time u sought help from experts and not resort to rape.

Dr. RUFUS: Well said.

MUDA: Question Sir, if a man and his wife are having sex and they have gone two rounds. The man demands for a third and she refuses, if he forces himself on her can we still call that one rape?

CLASS: hahahahaha

SHUGHAR: Haba Muda, You already answered your own question when you said “forces himself on her…”  
Sir, another bad one is CHILD ABUSE/MOLESTATION also referred to as STATUTORY RAPE.
This one has many faces. Forcing an underage (below 18 for Nigeria) to engage in any sexually geared activity by an adult or a more senior person to them amounts to child abuse. Fathers, step fathers, guardians, babysitters and neighbors etc. taking advantage of kids, wards, stewards also amounts to child abuse and molestation. Again, parents giving out their underage kids to greedy old beasts to prey upon in the name of marriage or anything.

XAVIER: That one is very annoying. To think that one of our own senators who joined in signing the child right act of 2003/7 went ahead to marry a minor at either age 12 or 13.

Adedoyeensola: Duro sibe o tie moo un to wan le, the so called senator has gone ahead to divorce the Egyptian girl he bought from his driver for $100,000 , she’s 17 years now and still a minor. He then married another Egyptian girl of 15.

HOUNGE: Jesus Christ! The same senator that appended his signature to the child right act ?

Dr. Rufus: My dear Students, the problem we have is that we have succeeded in copying the western lifestyle but have decided not to drop our barbaric attitudes and the worst is that we hide behind religion to perpetuate these evils. And the immunity granted them is another issue altogether.

Lawrence: Most of these kids never come back from the dark side after such inhumanity. Reminds me of the case of Dr. Gentle Adigwe who was abused and turned out as a rapist and sadist…like a chain reaction.

Gigi XO: You guys are forgetting the most common one joor, DATE RAPE.  Scum of the earth who are too lazy to learn their way around the opposite sexes sexual dynamics, attraction mechanics and love triggers end up resorting raping or trying to rape their dates.

Dr. Rufus: Why are you looking so fiercely at the guy?

ISAACOLA: Hahaha, Don’t mind her Sir, Women are the ones asking for it most times. After a guy has tried and tried and spent and spent, even to the point of helping you rent room when he’s squatting with his padi and helping u pay your school fees you claim u lost. Only for him to hear you have asked like 6 others guys you’re equally going out with for same thing and they give you. What do you expect a guy to do when he knows the cash has entered voice-mail. He go want to collect na!

CLASS: *selective laugh patterns in the air*

GiGi XO: imagine! So he should then rape her na abi?
Come are you sure you’re not a potential rapist make I begin dodge you oh because it’s often said most rapes are carried out by familiars.
I bow to you oo.

ELSIE: I remember poor Cynthia that died, very fine girl. Went to Lagos to visit her so called Facebook lover. Tragic incident… drugged, raped and killed.
I think rape should be seen as a capital offense.

SHAI: Talk Talk, are you the only one in this class? Every time Elsie and her feminist Yarns.
You didn’t mention that when u heard about the six women oh. If pesin like you become president Men go suffer. 
ELSIE :……….( mute. Ignores shai)

Dr. Rufus: that’s okay class. Let us move on.
Some of these date rapists resort to crude methods to achieve their aims like kidnapping with masks or drugging them with any of the following
a.    Gamma hydroxybutyrate (GHB)
b.   Rohypnol (Flunitrazepam)
c.    Methamphetamine
d.   Methylenedioxymethamphetaminne (Ecstasy MDMA)
e.    Ketamine
f.     LSD. (lysergic acid diethylamide)
Now am mentioning these drugs for educational purposes only
Don’t make me regret mentioning them. Purchase outside prescription (illegal) and use; carries a penalty by the law for both buyer user and seller.
And a warning to the ladies. There was a time when dates entailed perfectly planned outings with the aim of wooing a potential partner and so on. But it is now obvious to me that you young ladies now accept dates from virtually anyone especially when you are hungry for some expensive dinner and all that.
Therefore if you must go for dates, or clubs and parties etc. There are several rules and safety precautions you must live by

1.   Don't accept open drinks (alcoholic or non-alcoholic) from others who you do not know or do not trust; this includes drinks that come in a glass.

2.   When in bars or clubs always get your drink directly from the bartender and do not take your eyes off the bartender or your order; don't use the waitress or let somebody go to the bar for you.

3.   At parties, only accept drinks in close containers: bottles, cans or tetra packs.

4.   Never leave your drink unattended or turn your back on your table.

5.   Do not drink from open beverage sources like punch bowls, pitchers or tubs.

6.   Keep your eyes and ears open; if there is talk of date rape drugs or if friends seem "too intoxicated" for what they have taken, leave the party or club immediately and don't go back!

If these behavior modifications don't feel like enough protection, or if you don't think you can follow these rules on a given night, you do have another option. There is a brand new defense against date rape drugs that has recently been approved for use in North America but still scarce in Nigeria; it is a simple and inexpensive test kit that can be used to detect the presence of date rape drugs in drinks. The so called "Drink Safe Technology" is actually a package of drink testing strips or coasters that work like those litmus paper strips you use in Chemistry class. The strips and coasters change color when they come in contact with a date rape drug. The strips fit in your purse or pocket and can be used quickly and discretely. To find out more about "Drink Safe" visit the website at

 Adedoyeensola: That one useful oh, but emmmm in absentia… prevention is better than resorting to pregnancy strip like test just because of one drink…Ahhh…I bow oh.

FEMI: I watched another type of rape that played out In one seasonal movie like that.. PRISON RAPE…. In whatever form it comes it is violent and very bad. In the first scene they showed the male section of the prison where a young Caucasian male who was otherwise innocent and thrown into jail was in the bathroom with a dozen other inmates. And they seemed to be watching him while stroking their manhood’s and laughing. He was shy and noticed some other inmates tied some kind of thread around their soap but he didn’t understand why. He noticed someone whisper to him “…don’t drop the soap” but he wasn’t hearing too well. In fear of uncertainty He kept on turning and observing them observe him till he didn’t know when he dropped his soap. Believe me when I say the scene that followed was he bent down to pick the soap, one of the Huge inmates just grabbed his…

CLASS: (in different signs of disgust) Ewwww… Argggh STOP …..OMG!! Please stop there oh!

 FEMI: in another scene, there were two ladies in a cell and a third one was brought to join them. You can imagine the evils that those two did to her and forced her to do to them.
Subsequently; There was some sort of rukus and it led to a jailbreak. Those who instigated it broke into the female wing of the Cell block. The female wardens where captured along side some female inmates and brutally raped.

Dr. RUFUS: Phew! I think that pretty much describes prison rape…or could there be a more graphic representation?...
…No response… then you all are as stunned as I am, however more should be done about our prisons and the safety of our inmates. Even though they have limited rights they are still humans.
Now to the next one.

CHRIS: WAR RAPE Sir, in the past. Kings usually order their soldiers to pillage the towns of their enemies and rape their women. This was meant as a means of psychological warfare to instill heartbreak in the minds of the men of that kingdom and also sometimes to populate the conquered kingdom with their offspring while killing off the men. War rapes are rapes committed by combatants during armed conflict or war, or during military occupation often as spoils of war; but sometimes, particularly in ethnic conflict, the phenomenon has broader sociological motives. It is distinguished from sexual assaults and rape committed amongst troops in military service. It also covers the situation where girls and women are forced into prostitution or sexual slavery by an occupying power.

During war and armed conflict, rape is frequently used as a means of psychological warfare in order to humiliate the enemy. War rape is often systematic and thorough.
Rape is also now recognized as an element of the crime of genocide when committed with the intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a targeted group; however, rape remains widespread in conflict zones. There are other international legal instruments to prosecute perpetrators. However, these legal instruments have so far only been used for international conflicts, thus putting the burden of proof in citing the international nature of conflict in order for prosecution to proceed.
In more recent times, soldiers from various war zones either in form of allied or enemy forces sometimes rape women at will because they are armed and the people have fear instilled in them already… most times they gang up to rape these women who either end up dead or with torn sex organs and worse …deadly foreign diseases. These soldiers bring foreign diseases too back to the waiting arms and legs of their loving wives and girlfriends in their native countries.

Dr. RUFUS: We have made remarkable progress class. We can go on to Explain More like Incest rape where sibings or blood related individuals take advantage of their kin and also Blackmail where one can give in to sex due to fear that a secret being exposed would cause loss of something precious to the victim.
Now we will move on to the 

Physical injuries
Sexually transmitted diseases
Unwanted Pregnancy
Unsafe Abortions
Maternal Mortality
Feeling of powerlessness
Physical repulsion
Loss of control
Obviously, some of these can persist for a very long time. Some can also develop into longer term effects on behavior and emotional well-being.

Post-traumatic stress disorder
Obsessive-compulsive disorders
Anxiety and panic attacks
Lack of self-esteem
Eating disorders
Sexual problems
Physical problems
Drug and alcohol abuse
Alienation and aloneness
Never able to trust anyone

All these and more comprise of the effects of rape both long and short term.

Initially, the law in Nigeria and other pats of the world concerning rape was narrower and also gender selective.
However, in summary the amended laws for rape now carry a life sentence which means if you’re a rapist or intended rapist you might want to reconsider. You’ll just throw your life away for minutes of what you tag as “fun”.
Other sexual offenses carry heavy punishments too.
I believe we have all learned a thing or two today… I will leave ou with this slideshow presentation of how other countries view and punish rape offenders. Till we meet again. Good day Class.

CLASS: Thank you DR. RUFUS
Different categorizations and maximum punishments for rape under federal law

Imprisonment (years)
Life imprisonment
Rape using violence or the threat of violence to override consent
0 – unlimited
Rape by causing fear in the victim for themselves or for another person to override consent
0 – unlimited
Rape by giving a drug or intoxicant to a person that renders them unable to give consent
Statutory rape involving an adult perpetrator
Statutory rape involving an adult perpetrator with a previous conviction
0 – unlimited
Statutory rape involving a perpetrator who is a minor
When a person causes the rape by a third person
When a person causes the rape of a child under 12 by a third person
0 – unlimited

Life imprisonment

Life imprisonment

gross rape (4-10 years imprisonment)
ordinary rape (2-4 years imprisonment)
minor rape (0-4 years imprisonment)

2yrs to Life imprisonment

20 yrs of imprisonment

6 to 10 years imprisonment

Everyone who commits rape is guilty of an indictable offense and liable to suffer death, or imprisonment for life.
Everyone is guilty of an indictable offense and liable to seven years’ imprisonment who attempts to commit rape.

5 to 10 years imprisonment

10yrs imprisonment

4 to 10yrs imprisonment

Attempt to commit rape : The maximum penalty if found guilty of attempted rape is 14 years imprisonment.
Assault with intent to commit rape:  The maximum penalty if found guilty of attempted rape is 14 years imprisonment.
Sexual Assaults: The maximum penalty if found guilty of sexual assault is 10 years imprisonment.

 5yrs imprisonment for minimal
up to 10 years if rape lead to suicide

Having sexual intercourse with a girl under fourteen years of age is statutory rape, with a sentence of heavier punishment within the range of punishments for rape. Committing rape in China may result in sentencing of a fixed-term imprisonment from three years to ten years, and if one of a list of “serious circumstances” spelled out in The PRC Criminal Law happens, a fixed-term imprisonment from ten years up to the death penalty may be imposed.  The “serious circumstances” include (i) raping women or minors; (ii) raping a number of women or girls under the age of fourteen; (iii) raping a woman in public; (iv) Raping in rotation by more than two offenders; and (v) causing serious injury or death to the victim or any other serious consequences.

The amendments change the punishment for someone convicted of having nonconsensual sex outside marriage to imprisonment of up to five years and a fine of Rs10,000. Rape would be punishable with 10 to 25 years of imprisonment

Saudi Arabia
Death Penalty

Death Penalty

life imprisonment.

two methods prescribed under Afghan law are hanging and firing squad.

1. Rape of a woman who is under twelve years of age : Rigorous imprisonment for a term which shall not be less than ten years but which may be for life and shall also be liable to fine: Provided that the court may, for adequate and special reasons to be mentioned in the judgment, impose a sentence of imprisonment of either description for a term of less than ten years.
2. Rape of a woman, knowing her to be pregnant: Rigorous imprisonment for a term which shall not be less than ten years but which may be for life and shall also be liable to fine: Provided that the court may, for adequate and special reasons to be mentioned in the judgment, impose a sentence of imprisonment of either description for a term of less than ten years.
3. Gang Rape: Rigorous imprisonment for a term which shall not be less than ten years but which may be for life and shall also be liable to fine: Provided that the court may, for adequate and special reasons to be mentioned in the judgment, impose a sentence of imprisonment of either description for a term of less than ten years.
4. Custodial Rape: Rigorous imprisonment for a term which shall not be less than ten years but which may be for life and shall also be liable to fine

for Gang Rape
Pakistan had passed a law for punishment with death

 A rapist is a murderer and deserves whatever punishment …even death.
Be wise CLASS and….

Written for Educational purposes by Chrisking Leonhart.

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