WHY SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU ANYMORE

Hello Friends, Lion's and Lionesses...

September was my last time with you and it feels like forever...


Wanna share this with you for the benefit of my friend who keeps asking me why a woman who found you attractive yesterday tends to change her mind subsequently. 

You don't understand? okay let me narrate this..

 I was talking to a good friend a few nights ago,
and he told me an interesting story.

  He was walking home recently, when he walked by
a couple who were obviously in an emotional discussion.

  As it turned out, the woman was breaking up with
the man, and he was trying to understand why.

  The interchange went something like this:Her: "I'm not ATTRACTED to you anymore... I just don't
FEEL IT."

Him: "But I would do ANYTHING to make this work...
I'll do anything you want... just tell me what to
do."

Her: "That's the problem. You just don't get it."

....and that was all he heard.

  Have you ever been there?

  Have you ever had a girlfriend break up with you,
or just drift away, and the more you tried to hold
on, the further she ran from you? And the more you
tried to be a "good guy" and please her, the more
distant she became?

  Well, me too. I've been there MORE than once in
my life.

  And it ALWAYS SUCKED.

  The worst part about it was NEVER UNDERSTANDING
WHAT THE HECK WAS GOING ON!

  I can remember being that guy I just told you the
story about... and asking "Why? Why are you confused?
What do I have to do to make this work?"

  I was willing to change, act different, or whatever.

  Little did I know at the time, but it was this EXACT
attitude that led to all the problems in the first
place.

  If you've read my posts for awhile now, you
probably know that women don't feel the emotion called
ATTRACTION for guys who act weak, needy, insecure
and "WUSS-LIKE".

  But unless you know this to begin with, then it's
ALL TOO EASY to become a "nice", overly-accommodating,
uninteresting, predictable, boring guy... and even
though it seems logical that a woman should love to
be treated like a queen at all times, you've probably
found out, just like I have, that this combination
usually leads to a woman either 1) Leaving you...
or 2) Becoming increasingly controlling, domineering,
and neurotic.

  So what's up with that? Why does this happen? And
more importantly, what can we do to avoid getting into
this horrible position of losing a woman's attention
because we're trying to be nice to her?

  Here's my take, after studying this stuff for about nine years now...

1. ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE.

  In other words, we humans don't CHOOSE who we feel
attracted to... and, JUST AS IMPORTANT, who we DON'T
feel attracted to.

  ATTRACTION happens for reasons all its own, and
these reasons have evolved inside of us over the last
several million years.

  While culture, peer pressure, and trends can shape
our natural drives slightly, the FUNDAMENTALS NEVER
CHANGE.


2. MEN ARE ATTRACTED MORE TO LOOKS, WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED
MORE TO PERSONALITY AND CHARACTER.

  Most men can't believe it, but to a woman your
looks just aren't that much important as u believe especially when it comes down to relationships not flings.

  Sure, if you don't take care of yourself, don't
bathe, and let two of your front teeth rot out you
might scare away the ladies.

  But for the most part, women will look past just
about ANY physical issue if she feels that all-important
emotion called ATTRACTION.

  And ATTRACTION is created by your PERSONALITY.

  For women, ATTRACTION is triggered by male qualities
like: Dominance, Humor, Unpredictability, Adventure,
Strength, Sexual Awareness, Indifference, Etc.


3. WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO WUSSIES.

  'Nuff said.


4. WOMEN TEST MEN BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO.

  When a woman begins to feel a romantic connection
with you, she faces an interesting problem...

  How can she tell for sure if your character and
personality are the way you're expressing them?

  As we all know, men and women BOTH show off and
exaggerate their "good sides" while downplaying and
hiding their negative traits at first. This is why
men suck in their guts, brag, and show off... and
why women wear makeup, do their hair, and shop all
day for their clothes.

  If you were a woman, and you needed to figure out
if a man was showing you his "true self", how would
you do it?

  What if you had to know FOR SURE?

  The only way is to TEST on an ongoing basis, and
to keep escalating the tests to be sure.

  Put all this together (with a bunch of other factors
that I don't have time to talk about) and you get
an interesting problem that women face...

  A woman responds to a man that stirs her emotions,
and causes her to want him so badly that she'll put
aside all logic and reason to be with him.

  But what if the man is just pretending? What if
he only SEEMS to be this confident, funny, manly-man
on the outside, but he's actually a push-over WUSS-BAG
that is insecure and makes up for it by acting like
a tough guy?

  Or worse yet, what if he's a WUSS all the time,
and she just happened to settle for him because he
was available and persistent... and she didn't have
anything better going on at the time... but now she
has other options?

  Well, these are the kinds of situations, that when
played out, lead to the story that I started with...
a man begging a woman to stay... pleading with her to
explain what he has to do to keep her.

  Of course, this is all WUSSY behavior, and it only
serves to put the final nail in the coffin, convincing
the object of your desire that you are ABSOLUTELY,
beyond the shadow of any doubt, a Wuss.

  So what's the answer?

  The answer is to NEVER BE THOUGHT OF AS A WUSSY
AGAIN!

  If you want to make your dating life a whole lot
better and easier, then stop and think about your
behavior... and resolve right now to stop acting like
a WUSS for the rest of your life.

  Being "nice" and "accommodating" and "understanding"
is great for friendships and social relationships,
but it's HORRIBLE for ATTRACTION.

  An interesting, attractive woman doesn't want a
guy that she can push around. She doesn't want a guy
who does what she wants him to do. She doesn't want
a little boy that she can train and raise.

  An interesting, attractive woman wants a MAN.

  This doesn't make LOGICAL sense, I know. But it's
the truth. These submissive qualities will only work
in attracting a woman IF SHE LIKES DRESSING UP IN
LEATHER AND WHIPPING HER MAN... AND CHARGING $400.00
AN HOUR!

  And my guess is that this isn't the kind of woman
that you're looking for.

  I've explained some of the important qualities
that you need to cultivate in yourself if you want
to attract women... and keep them attracted.

Now am gonna get back to this annoying job...but i will always remain...

Your Friend...

Leonhart...

THE TEASING GAME (SECRET:1 step forward, 2 steps back)

Hello Lion's and Lionesses. been battling with inspiration and time due to the recent loss i suffered but i have to leave you guys with this top secret I've known and used for years to get women to practically throw themselves at me. 

The secret Method of Taking a step forward and two steps backwards. You still don't get it ya? Lemme explain... Years ago a friend told me that if you slap someone with your bare

hand, you will feel as much pain as the person you slapped. And

it's true because the nerve receptors in your hand cannot tell the

difference if it's doing the slapping or if it's being slapped.

(This is probably why my mom preferred to beat me with a broom.)

Let me explain how this concept applies to the game.

I was at a gig with a girl I had been on one date with. We hadn't

had sex yet but I definitely wanted to. When I look back in my

dating history at the girls that really got me going, I noticed they

were all very good at teasing me. 

These girls knew how to restrain themselves and postpone some

pleasure now for more pleasure later. I understood this concept and

was beginning to use it on girls, but I would often give in early

because I was impatient and horny.

I didn't fully understand that the anticipation of intimacy is more

arousing than intimacy itself. Therefore anticipation of a kiss is

more arousing than the kiss itself. You can suck face with someone

for one hour, but after sometime you will get less from that kiss until your lips go numb and you don't feel like kissing anymore. In fact the best way to make a girl horny is to kiss her LESS and build

sexual tension that begs to be relieved in the bedroom.

My date and I already kissed before so there wasn't going to be any

major surprise , but what I would do is get very close to her lips and barely brush against them with mine without kissing her, and then pull back. Her head would follow me back, until she realized I wasn't going to kiss her. She would smile and I would smile, and we'd take a sip of our drink and i would watch her dance a little more.

That night I did the pull-back game for almost TWO HOURS without kissing her once, until I was ready to explode (remember that when you tease someone, you tease yourself by the same amount). But she had no idea that I was going through a harder time than she was because I did my best to put on a relaxed facade.

Let me sidetrack real quick and mention that this idea works with

emotions too. It's impossible not to feel the emotions you try to

make others feel. If you want a girl to fall in love with you, and

you seduce her successfully, you will also fall in love with her to a certain degree. Knowing this is incredible because it says that you can feel whatever emotion you try to create in others. 

For example if I want to feel passion, I just have to make someone

else feel it. If I want to feel love, I just have to make someone

else feel love. Unfortunately many people unknowingly use this for

negative emotions such as jealousy, fear, and anger.

Back to the story. I drove my date home and in my bedroom she gave me absolutely no resistance. She let me do whatever I wanted to do and for that night her body was mine in any way I desired.

After that incredible night, does it mean I can stop teasing her?

Of course not! No matter how far along the relationship we are,

both of us have to keep the sexual tension tight to keep the good

feelings going. The moment either of us stops putting in work to

induce maximal pleasure is the moment the relationship will become stale. Because anyone can just keep making out. But not many cannot.

The only way I learned how to tease a girl was by taking notes on

all the girls I was hooking up with. If what they did felt really good to me, I figured it would feel good to a girl as well. Most of what I learned about how to please women and satisfy them actually comes from girls.

Before you can get to the point where you are teasing and kissing a

girl, you need to know how to build attraction. I used to live in

my own personal hell because there would be a girl I liked but I

had no idea how to build attraction, no idea how to kiss her, and

no idea how to get her in bed. I had the desire, but I didn't have

the knowledge because my toolbox was completely empty. It took me years to learn that knowledge, and am more than happhy to share it with you my friends.. so stay tuned and always keep your game tight.

 Your friend, 

...Leonhart

@chrisxleonhart

GIRLFRIEND SNATCHING 101 (BANG AND MORAL ANGLE)

Its always good to get feedback, it encourages writers... take a look at this..

"Hi Chris and friends at The Lions Den,

I was thinking you should write an article on how to deal with the boyfriend of a potential girlfriend or crush in social situations.

Imagine the following scenario: You know this girl from work or school. You like her. She likes you. You flirt with each other. The only problem? She has a long term boyfriend. Or alternatively, you meet a girl who has brought her boyfriend with her at a party.

Either way, a social situation arises in which she presents her boyfriend to you (for example at a party to test you, or out of pure coincidence).

How do you handle the boyfriend? How do you demonstrate that you are a more dominant, superior, a better man, and that she would be better off with you?

Hope you consider this!"

>>>Lekan

Hehehehe.... This will be fun ya?..... Simply put this bro is asking how to successfully snatch or steal someones girlfriend. 
Now wait wait ... before you go all holier than thou on him (or me), lets remember that its a free world when it comes to dating and relationships. you cant stop or judge a man for trying. 

        However, is this possible to do?... Sure. Is it something you can consistently pull off? ... well, let's just say.. count whatever your normal success rate is at picking up, and reduce that a little bit because now you're trying to out-compete the girl's boyfriend; however, if you can pull this off with a girl who wants you to steal her from her man (we'll talk about these girls and why they want this in a bit), in this case you can actually achieve a higher degree of consistency at snatching... assuming you handle logistics properly.

But before we discuss doing this, let's talk a little about the scenario itself, and any potential moral implications... because I don't have fun making good people cry, and I hope you don't either.
And that brings us to the Moral Angle.

IS IT RIGHT OR.....
My general stance on sleeping with "attached" women.
there is ALWAYS going to be SOME man who's going to be upset that you slept with some woman if he finds out about it. He might be a boyfriend; he might be a husband; he might be a guy in her friend zone who's been "working on her" for weeks or months or years now; he might be a guy who's taken her on three dates; he might be her friend with benefits who wants the relationship to be something more. He might be her ex-boyfriend or ex-husband.
Someone, somewhere, has called dibs on her... and he's going to be furious that you slept with "his" woman.
              However, usually, if a woman is sleeping with you... she doesn't see herself as HIS woman. She views herself as "A" woman... but as to whom she "belongs", her opinion is generally, "I belong to ME, and I will do whatever I want with whomever I want to do it."
Obviously, there's a bit of a disconnect, then, between what SHE thinks she's allowed to do with herself, what HE thinks she's allowed to do with herself... and what YOU think she's allowed to do with herself (and with you)... i hope i am communicating.
And you're going to have to choose whom you're teaming up with: this girl who wants to sleep with you, or this guy who wants her not to.
 

AVOIDING REGRETS

If you are a sexy man, good at turning women on and creating sexual tension, of course any woman who sleeps with you is going to want to sleep with you, then and there in the moment.
If she didn't want to right then, she wouldn't do it.
If you're aiming to be morally responsible, however, the question you ought to be asking yourself is, "How is she going to feel about having slept with me later on down the line?"
Almost every girl who's ever found out about an affair says the same thing to her partner: "It was a mistake. I never should have done it."
Yet, many times this is said without it being meant (or, occasionally, the woman will just spitefully say, "Yes, I did it - and I'm GLAD I did it!").
If she's going to be looking back on her night with you and smiling to herself, feeling a bit lighter on her feet, a bit happier in her heart, and a bit more relieved in her loins, you've done a good thing for her.
However, if she's going to be blaming herself, cursing herself, and sorry she did it, that's when you put the brakes on sleeping with a girl in any circumstance, attached or not. In this case, if she's going to feel bad about herself for sleeping with you because she genuinely loves her guy, or because her identity is as a "good girl" and this causes her an inordinate amount of cognitive dissonance, it's better to scrub the lay and throw her back into the pond.
How do you recognize attached women who are going to regret sleeping with you later? Across the board, they:

• Are sexually inexperienced (experienced women who stray from monogamous relationships simply aren't bothered by it - if they are, they don't let it happen)
  
• Are not very sexual women (no sexy smiles, eye contact, heavy flirtation, seductive behavior, etc.)
  
• Are genuinely in love with their boyfriends (usually in the first six months to a year of their relationships... even inexperienced girls past a year, if they are sleeping with you, usually are doing this because they've gotten an "itch" and don't feel bad about it)
  
• Are putting up a wall of resistance to sex when you try to escalate physically and take them to bed
  

In other words, if she's young and inexperienced and clearly loves her boyfriend and is giving you a mountain of resistance to sleeping with you, let her go. If she's older though... or more experienced with men... or not so in-love with her man anymore... or dripping with carnal sensuality or lust... or easy to get in bed... she's not going to regret it.
A rule of thumb for assessing whether to proceed with an attached girl: if you hit a huge wall trying to move things forward with her, and she isn't overly sexy or sensual, and clearly is young and inexperienced, it's best to call it off, even if you know you could get it, because she'll end up having a hard time and going through some identity-level difficulties not long after.
Otherwise, though, she knows what she's doing, and if she doesn't get it from you, she's going to get it from someone else (and, the way it typically works with women who sleep with other men while in relationships, she's probably going to be getting it from you AND someone else)

Karma

There are two kinds of "karma", I believe:

1. Guilty karma
2. Behavioral karma

The first is what you get when you do something you feel bad about. You start obsessing about it, becoming afraid of being found out about having done it, and end up sabotaging your own life from guilt - karma, they say.
The second is what you get if you behave in a certain antisocial way that gains you some advantages, at other (usually long-term) costs. Extreme psychopaths are a good example of this kind of "karma" - they're very, very good at maximizing their short-term outcomes... you will never meet anyone better at getting the best possible short-term outcome as a psychopath (basically, someone who is unable to feel the emotions of others, and thus views other people completely without a shred of empathy, simply as objects to be used to best ability for his own benefit). The tradeoff for a psychopath though is that he's terrible at planning for the long-term and unable to properly consider long-term consequences of his actions - it's why he's so good at the short-term; short-term is his sole focus, unlike those of us trying to juggle the here-and-now with what lies ahead. As a result, psychopaths have frequent blowups and falling outs in their relationships long-term... again, something some might call karma.
However, these are two very different kinds of "karma": one comes from guilt, which is based on conscience; the other comes from the consequences of one's same actions that generated the benefit. karma is supposed to "punish" him for - for instance, long-term negative effects of positive short-term outcomes (spend your money on a new laptop today and feel great; have no money for food the whole next month and go hungry).
Assuming you have some measure of empathy, the kind of karma that poses the biggest threat to you here is that of guilt; so, if you feel guilty about sleeping with an attached woman, don't do it.


Personally, I feel no guilt if the woman clearly wants it and has no problems with it. I don't know the guy, nor why one man is not enough for her; I don't know the nature of their relationship, any "arrangements" they might have, or anything else, nor do I care to know. If I spent too much time trying to guess what a hundred different people might think about a girl and I sleeping together and if any of them would be hurt or offended or whatnot, I'd go crazy before I ever slept with anyone.

However, if I know the girl is going to feel bad about sex with me, that's one I cannot stand. I've had a few women I have inadvertently hurt - not girls with boyfriends, but girls who simply had the wrong expectations about sex with me, and/or I had not done a good enough job of setting the right ones for this. Those still weigh on my conscience, and believe it or not, have come back to bite me again through my own guilt-altered behavior. I'd advise you to avoid at all costs anything that might hurt a girl if you can do it, even if purely for your own selfish good (though hopefully for hers, too).

Whether due to your own guilty conscience or, in the case where you are lacking in the empathy department, your short-term-only focus on leading your life, karma's a bitch.
And she doesn't like being ignored.
So keep an eye on her, and try not to make her angry.


THE ART OF STEALING
The first thing to realize about women you steal from under the boyfriend's nose: they know exactly what they are doing, and they get off on having you cuckold their men.
It took me a while to realize it. I cut my teeth at Indulge bar around a girl like this, and nearly stole her right in front of her boyfriend, but backed off when I saw how hurt and angry he was and assumed she was probably just too drunk and not being herself.
Later, after much more interaction with women like this, I realized she knew what she'd been doing.
Why do women enjoy letting other men cuckold their men with them, and how do you steal a girl like this when she presents herself to you?

Screening, and Power Plays

About six months after I got a Job, I met an incredibly spunky, sexy young (but older than me)  girl, with whom I had a very good vibe going on. We traded numbers; and she invited me out to a pool get together of sorts a week or two later.
I showed up, and it was her, her best friend, the best friend's boyfriend... and her boyfriend.
I was flummoxed (don't bother checking) and disappointed. Also, somewhat stumped. Here was this girl I'd met, a total wild, crazy sexpot, and... there was her mild-mannered boyfriend.
Glasses.
Sweater-vest.
Young, preppy haircut.
Real warm, friendly, nice guy demeanor.
Turned out she was living in his house, and driving a car he'd bought her.
All right, that's just weird, I thought. I don't know what the deal is with this.
I hadn't been expecting it, so I sort of backed off. I ended up making friends with the other couple, and learned from them later that the girl I'd met used to always introduce men she'd met to her boyfriend before she slept with them...(see amebo)  and then sleep with those men immediately after.
Whoops!; I'd botched it. I had kind of, sort of, felt like that might be what was going on... but it was just so strange and bizarre for early 2009 me. I wrote it off and said, "Nah... my read's gotta be wrong. That'd just be weird."

Of course, as I started hanging out with that other couple, the girl, who'd initially been rather cold to me,(cuz her man was there perhaps) started heating up.
Then up, and up.
I debated about whether to sleep with this friend of the class sexpot, but I had a girlfriend staying at my place temporarily. It got to the point that we'd be out at a dinner, just the four of us, and the other girl would be reaching across under the table rubbing my feet with hers.
I realized then - and I've seen and confirmed since - that some attached women parade their boyfriends in front of you before moving ahead with you for two reasons:

1. A power play. They simply feel powerful knowing that their boyfriend or husband is right there, right in front of the man they are going to sleep with later, and he probably suspects it, but there is nothing he can do about it. If he accuses them, they'll deny, and act insulted he could even think such a thing, shaming him back into grudging silence. Why do they do this? Usually because the guy was too controlling, and they are "punishing" him by making his worst fear happen, right in front of him. Obviously, the women who do this are pretty vindictive people themselves, too - but they'll be all feminine charms and grace with you. 
2. A screening tool. The other reason women do this? If you can hang with her and her man, and still be cool, and not crack, and still move things forward with her ANYWAY after this, in a cool, seductive way... you're just about the sexiest man she's ever met. Most guys don't have the balls to stay cool and pull this off (like I didn't early on... in fact, I wasn't able to pull this off until late 2008) - they either get moralistic about it, or second-guess themselves, or are intimidated by the fact that the girl has a boyfriend. So all the lesser men screen themselves out, and the girl is just left with the coldest, hardest, most bad boy players there are, who aren't fazed one bit by the boyfriend, and the sex is about 20 times more exciting for her because she knows how hard these guys have been screened and tested... they are the manliest men, with the best genes imaginable. And she cums hard during sex (Relax...am not about to write a romantic novel).
   

So don't think that a girl who's parading her man about with her, then going off and flirting heavily with a bunch of other men in the bar or the party or the nightclub is doing that simply because she's social, or flirty. She knows what she's doing. And so does he... but he's powerless to stop it.

And don't think that a girl who starts touching you and escalating with you when her boyfriend isn't looking has simply fallen prey to your charms... she has, but if it wasn't you, it would've been somebody else. You're good, in that you got her, and not someone else, but you didn't cause her to start looking around for someone to meet in front of her boyfriend... she did that herself.

How to Steal a Girl from Under Her Boyfriend's Nose

So now you know she's not some innocent, easily-swayed and clueless little girl, but rather a sharp, cunning fox, out on the prowl, and knowing exactly what she's doing... and whom she's looking for.
How do you steal a girl like this from her (probably controlling, over-protective, and perhaps unfaithful himself) boyfriend?
Here, there are four (4) keys:

1. Discretion
2. Dominance
3. Focus
4. Logistics

... and here's how they each play out:

1. Discretion: the name of the game here. Remember that as the lover, you are 100% expendable. Threaten to cause an ounce of drama for her, and she will have zero qualms about dissing you to preserve her social standing. That means you must be civil with the boyfriend; you must not create problems; you must not flirt too overtly with her in front of the boyfriend or any friends of hers who are not completely on board with her plans (typically, her closest friends only). Some girls are okay texting with you; some will ask you not to text them, because their boyfriends will see it and check (the further along into full-on rebellion the girl is, the fewer qualms she'll have about you texting her to arrange dates or set up logistics). On the plus side, you can propose things with her fast (but still smooth), because you won't have much time to do this, or much free opportunity, and she recognizes this and will conspire with you to do that (e.g., sneak out back with you, off to the side of the bar, meet by the bathrooms in 5 minutes, etc.).
   
2. Dominance: this is more social dominance than it is physical dominance, or even verbal dominance. That means you know how to deal with it if the boyfriend attempts to tool you, you follow the Law of Least Effort ( Basically means that the person who *appears to put the least amount of effort out, while getting the largest amount of effort returned to him by others, comes across as the most socially powerful. *Note the italics around the word “appears” in that bolded section. We aren’t necessarily talking about the person who is actually, literally trying the least, but rather the person who is able to accomplish the most with the appearance of putting in the least amount of work.
   )in what you do and visibly appear more dominant than he does by comparison. And above all, you're clearly not intimidated by him. If you go overboard, however, and attempt to shame him, mock him, or intimidate him, you will force the girl to defend him so as not to appear to be too openly moving against him, which usually dooms your cause. So don't attack; simply look stronger and better in your own space, and deftly deflect any attempts to belittle you that he throws your way.
   
3. Focus: your focus clearly needs to be on stealing away with her, meeting up with her later, or otherwise finding time to connect with her, soon. It's very okay (and often advisable) to make it a "conspiracy" between the two of you; each of you know the other is playing a role in front of the boyfriend, but behind the scenes, the two of you are working together to try to bring yourselves together without his knowing it as soon as possible. Keep your focus on this, and don't get confused into thinking your focus is to dominate the boyfriend socially, or win over the friend group, or anything like this. Losing focus kills you here, because attached women are looking for focused men who move fast, and their attraction tends to expire fast for any man who doesn't meet these standards.
   
4. Logistics: ... must be handled. You'll find that attached women can often be more down for wild and unconventional sex logistics than many single women will - this is because they have zero considerations of maintaining a "good girl" image with you (obviously, at least for you, they are not "good" girls), because they feel the very real time constraints they are working against (to get you inside of them before the boyfriend starts looking for them), and because the fact that the two of you are uniting in such a delicious conspiracy against the oppressive and stifling boyfriend/husband is so damn exciting for them. Almost anything will do here - bathrooms, cubby holes (nkoro), alleyways. I have a friend who met a girl outside a nightclub, mad at her boyfriend, and immediately pulled her behind his car and had sex with her then and there, not four minutes after meeting her. She then went back into the club to go rejoin her boyfriend, a big smile on her face.
   

... oh, and in case any of this is leaving you freaked out about your OWN girlfriend(s), would write something soon to help you be on your guard:

Being the Other Guy

Personally, I prefer not to ask women about their relationship statuses. If she has a boyfriend, I'd rather not know. All I want to know is that she and I are two people who like each other, so let's go do what we'd like to do with one another. If she has a man she's promising exclusivity to... that's her business.

So, I do my best to stay off the topic of current relationships with girls. Past relationships are okay if you do them right... but be careful of digging too much here, because some girls will start feeling like they need to "confess" their currents to you if you do. Better simply not to know - then when you get the phone call from the hurt or angry partner or spouse later (as I have, at times), you can honestly tell the guy, "Hey man, I had no idea. She seemed cool to me."

Wrapping up, is this okay? Is it okay to sleep with an attached girl?
Everyone's of his own mind about this. I personally don't like sleeping with women if I meet their boyfriends or husbands and the guy is a legitimately nice guy (like that sweater-vest guy the girl was seeing... from what the couple she introduced me to told me, her boyfriend had rescued her out of poverty and helped her kick a drug problem - doesn't pay to be a white knight, fellas. I think he found out years later about the gangbangs she was having with her ex and his drugheads in Lagos, kicked her out, and took the car back, if memory serves).
But if the guy's clearly controlling and not a nice guy? If it's what the girl wants, I don't have qualms with it these days.
Just make sure she's not innocent and head-over-heels with him - but this is pretty easy to tell. Don't ruin something pure - if it's already ruined though, and she's just looking for some release, this is a gray area, but it's one where I feel it's pretty safe saying you're probably okay from a moral standpoint of just going for it. She wants it; she's going to get it somewhere; and the guy knows it's going on, and probably knows he drove her to it, too.
But if you have a choice? Just don't even ask her status. If you don't ask, you don't have to steal a girl from under her boyfriend's nose... then you're just picking up a girl who likes you, and the fact that some jealous guy is over there burning daggers into the back of your skull is irrelevant; you like her, she likes you, and that's about as pure as love, sex, and romance get.

And i'll talk to you again soon... (i hope)

Your friend 
LEONHART 

 Kindly use the facebook comments instead of the default one thanks.

www.chriskingleonhart.com (THE LIONS DEN)

Twitter and Instagram: @chrisxleonhart

Facebook Page: Chrisking Leonhart

BBM: 74EBA829

PAYING IN DATING (When and How to Spend)

It's a FACT: right now, most single women are feeling frustrated and unsatisfied with the men they're meeting.

That in mind, I have to ask you...

WHY AREN'T YOU TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THIS SITUATION?

If you're still sitting on the bench, there can only be 2 possible reasons for it:

#1) You have so many women chasing you that you don't even need to try.

Or...

#2) You're dealing with obstacles like anxiety, fear, or lack of self-esteem that destroy your chances of success before you even get started.

If #2 sounds like you, I'm here to tell you that you can CHANGE EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW...and it's easier than you think

 

***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***

I have a question concerning dating and when/when not to pay for stuff. At what point (if any) should I pay for both of us when dating? I don't want to get the woman into the mind set of "courtship." What should a man pay for when he's dating?

"THE LIONS DEN" has changed me for the better. I look forward to getting your posts.

Sincerely, E.

MY COMMENTS:

This is a common dilemma that most men face...

"To pay or not to pay, that is the question."

Before i go on let me say something. there are women who dont fancy men spending much or even spending at all on them and every unique woman has her reasons.. however, there are two common reasons why some women do that.

1. They don't want you believing they owe you something (Anything...especially sex).

2. A woman genuinely likes you and seeing that you're not financially strong wouldn't want you to attempt winning her over with gifts and cash..she wants you to be yourself.

There are other reasons but lets proceed at this point..

Here are some of the problems that "paying" creates:

1. It sets you up as the one who is "pursuing" the woman, which symbolically gives away your power to her.

2. It can be expensive.

3. It usually causes women to play even "harder to get".

4. It triggers all kinds of "courtship" behaviors. Like her making you prove yourself, waiting to have sex, etc.

5. The places you'll be going to "pay" are often not the best places to actually get to know another human being. Movies, fancy dinners, etc., aren't natural environments and they don't lead to people "being themselves".

So, what's the alternative?

Well, the FIRST thing you should do is CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK ABOUT "DATING"...and "paying".

Most guys just naturally assume that if they're "taking a girl out" that they need to take her to a show or movie, a nice dinner, etc.

And by the way, this is actually part of a much BIGGER issue...that most guys feel OBLIGATED to give things to women, buy them things...and basically PAY for their attention and affection.

If you've got a "bad" case of this, then I recommend that you visit my blog again and do some real reading from my older posts. It will help you change all of that BAD programming, and build a self image and a powerful self confidence that will make women feel more NATURALLY attracted to you.

Of course, these are basically the WORST places to go with a woman in the beginning because, as I mentioned above, they aren't very "natural" places to be.

Instead of asking a woman "out to dinner", try this...

When you're talking on the phone about getting together say, "Let's meet for a cup of tea. This way, if YOU turn out to be a complete freak, I can run away easily."

If she has a good sense of humor...this will get a laugh, and it will get her thinking to herself, "Wow, this guy is qualifying ME."

Also, suggest a place that's close to your house, in case you want to invite her over afterward.

When you meet for tea, actually drink tea (or iced tea/cream). Because coffee makes your breath nasty and tea is perceived as a more "classy" drink. It's also cheaper than a latte or a mocha.

After you have tea for 30 or 60 minutes, decide how YOU like HER. If you want to continue say either:

"Hey, let's keep talking. I want to shop for a bit, come along."

...or...

"Hey, let's keep talking. Where are you parked? You can follow me..." (to your place, of course).

In either case, just assume that she will go along with whatever you're doing, and she almost always will if you're doing a good job of being Cocky & Funny and keeping her attention.

If you do go out "shopping", go to a funky alternative neighborhood mall that has maybe tattoo shops, record stores, ethnic food restaurants, etc. Every city has an area like this, so go there.

These places are SO GREAT because they have fun and interesting conversation BUILT RIGHT IN.

If things are going well, and you're enjoying the time with her, you can then have her follow you over to your place. Again, just tell her that you're enjoying the conversation, and that you'd like to continue...and for her to follow you.

Total expense (if you pay for her tea and yours):

A few bucks.

How much better is this than taking her out to an expensive meal and trying to have a normal conversation across a table while being forced to look right at each other all night?

You do the math.

If you actually do a little creative thinking, you can figure out ALL KINDS of great things to do that cost little or no money at all when you go out with women.

Extra bonus:

When you don't do "normal" dating things, women will tend to play "hard to get" less. They'll expect less in the way of gifts and money spent on them and they'll actually HAVE MORE FUN and want to go out with you again and again

Really.

And if you're reading this right now, and you haven't yet read my previous posts, go back and read all of them at THE LIONS DEN (www.chriskingleonhart.com) and it will make EVERYTHING about women and dating make more sense.

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

LEONHART.

BBM PIN: 7C799724
TWITTER: @chrisxleonhart
FACEBOOK: Chrisking Leonhart
FACEBOOK PAGE : Facebook.com/chrisking.leonhart.den
e-Mail: chrisking4u@yahoo.com , lordcommanderleonhart@gmail.com

THE FRIEND ZONE and HOW TO AVOID IT

WHAT IS FRIEND-ZONE?
Let me clear you all on this... it could be a guy or girl in the zone and not only a guy as many presume. A friend zone is a happy place for a girl. It’s a place where she and a guy can sit together and talk about anything and get real friendly with each other.
For a guy, a friend zone is the worst place to be in, especially when he likes the girl who behaves like a friend.
In a friend zone, the two involved friends of the opposite sex are just friends and nothing more. They project no sexual interest towards each other and behave in a completely platonic manner.
But can any guy ever be friends with a girl he finds sexually attractive? Or course not. He can try to be a friend with the hope of getting an occasional cuddle or a warm boob pressing hug now and then, but he’s always going to be just be a friend while she dates every other guy.
          

The friend zone is a tricky place to fall in.
You may be trying hard to get close to a girl, close enough to tell her that you like her, but one fine day she turns around and tells you that you’re such a great friend, or worse, you’re just like a brother to her.
Ever been there?
I hope you haven’t.

Guys find themselves falling into the friend zone almost all the time.
It’s frustrating and demeaning, and at times, inevitable.
You may get really close to a girl with all the hopes of getting into her pants, but somewhere along the way, you may have taken a few detours that led you right into the friend zone.
Before going further, I would like to define the friend zone again. Understanding the problem can help with the solution...
The "friend zone" refers to a situation where there is a mismatch in romantic feelings between two individuals. For example, sometimes this is a sexual attraction mismatch, where one person is interested in romance while the other wants to "just be friends". At other times, the friends are already sexually involved (i.e. friends-with-benefits), but there is a commitment mismatch, where only one person wants a "relationship" as a committed girlfriend or boyfriend.
Overall then, the friend zone occurs in relationships where both individuals' emotional needs are not getting met. Someone is not getting what they want and need. Because all good relationships are built from a mutually-satisfying social exchange and trade... friend zone situations ultimately don't feel very good.
Therefore, when someone gets stuck in the friend zone, they have entered into an exchange that is not fair or equal. The other person is getting everything he/she wants...but the person stuck in the friend zone is not fully satisfied. In a nutshell, the friend zoned person sold himself or herself short. They gave their "friend" everything, without making sure they got everything they wanted in return.

HOW GUYS END UP IN THE FRIEND ZONE

#1 The Fear of Rejection

       Another reason why people end up in the friend zone is that they are too afraid, uncertain, or passive. Many people approach someone they are attracted to as "just a friend" because it is easier and less emotionally-risky. In other situations, they may desire a committed relationship, but begin as a "hookup" or "friends-with-benefits" because that too is easier. In any case, these individuals begin the interaction by not clearly communicating what they want - and settling for less. Sometimes, this is honestly done out of insecurity. Other times, it is a bit "sneaky", using friendship to work their way in the "back door" - rather than simply facing rejection up front. No matter what the reason though, the process seldom works. Sure, there are exceptions of hookups turning into lovers, or "friends" blossoming into love, but those are rare - and usually involve some sort of mutual interest in dating to start.

Therefore, rather than getting stuck in the friend zone by being scared or devious, it is often more productive to state what is desired up front. It is better to make an even and honest trade. If the other person is not willing or interested, then it is better to simply walk away and find someone else who is. Deception doesn't avoid the friend zone...neither does settling for less than is desired.
Besides, asking for a date outright can be pretty successful. Research by Hald and Høgh-Olesen (2010) found that 68% of single men and 43% of single women agreed to a date request by a stranger of average attractiveness. Therefore, with a little help, it is more easy and productive to simply ask for what you want up front.

# 2  Being a wuss

The final reason why people end up in the friend zone is because they are simply too nice. They do all of the work. They make all of the concessions and sacrifices. They make it very "easy" for the other person to be with them. In the process, they also tend to get taken for granted, devalued, and forgotten (Tosin sorry o). Put simply, people value what they work to obtain and invest in. They have more attraction and respect for individuals for whom they perform favors (Jecker & Landy, 1969). They also find relationships more valuable and commit more fully, when they invest in them in various ways (Coleman, 2009).

Therefore, by doing all the work, an individual puts himself or herself "in" the friend zone. When they do all the investing...they develop all of the loving feelings. The other person does not.

Thus, to avoid the friend zone, effort and investment must be balanced on both sides. Each person must give and contribute in equal amounts. Both people's needs must be satisfied at roughly equal measures. If the other person doesn't offer...then ask!





A guy falls into a friend zone for very obvious reasons. He behaves like a friend. And he never lets the girl know that he has more than friendly intentions on his mind.
And soon enough, the girl loses all realization of the fact that this guy has a package down there. And he just becomes another sexless thing she hangs out with all the time as a platonic friend.
So why do some guys end up as friends instead of boyfriends or sex buddies? Here’s why.
#3 They get too close. Getting too close to a girl on platonic grounds will never help you. You may assume that it’s the easiest way to get a girl to know you better. She’ll definitely get to know you better, but only as a friend.
#4 No sexual chemistry. If a guy likes a girl, he has to make it subtly obvious that he’s sexually interested in her. If a guy behaves like a pushover and a doormat, no girl will feel even a tingle of sexual chemistry. I've escorted my friend Oluwatosin (crawler) to drop off a girl he liked so much at another guys place. She called him up, asked him to come over and when he did....on her request we chauffeured her to this other guy... i felt like crying.
#5 The girl’s not attracted to the guy. This sucks, but this is the most common scenario. The guy’s probably creepy, annoying or just not good enough to be her boyfriend.

#6 The guy thinks she’s too good for him. At times, a guy may genuinely believe that the girl he likes is way too good for him. And instead of hitting on her, he secretly lusts for her, but gives up on pursuing her. Could you ever live with yourself by just being the friend of a sexy girl who dates every other guy but you? And while looking at her pix you probably beat up your manhood every night till it cries. (hahahaha)

 

#7 He plays the true friend card. It works in the movies all the time. The girl has a best friend who’s always there for her. She goes ahead and dates every single guy in the world, and finally, at the end of the movie she sees her true love in the form of her best friend. How touching! And that’s why they call it the movies. In real life, you can’t become a girl’s boyfriend just by behaving like a best friend.



 


HOW TO AVOID and GET OUT OF THE FRIEND ZONE

It’s really easy to avoid the friend zone. All you need to do is drop a few hints now and then to let her know that you’re really into her. Use these easy tips to get the message across and get her to desire you while you’re at it.

#1  Flirt
The main difference between a friendship and a romantic relationship is intimacy. If she views you as a friendly person she can vent to about her problems you will remain in the friend zone, but if you start to make moves and flirt with her, she may start to show some interest with you. Ask her out on a date, this is especially useful in the early stages of the friendship, but may be awkward if you have been friends long-term.

  #2   Distance yourself and make her want you
Just like men, women want what they cannot have, which means if you are always at her disposal then you will remain just her friend. Try working out, build muscle, lose weight, and maybe even further your education to make her feel that you have more value. Keep your distance with her during your self improvement stage; this may make her approach you for a relationship instead of the other way around. However, if you stay there to talk to her as just a friend you will never be able to get out of the friend zone.

#3   Stop talking to her as a friend

     We have all been there, the girl talks to you about her relationship trouble, or her personal problems. She views you as a safe bet and does not want to ruin her friendship with you by complicating it; however, do you really want to hear about how the person she is dating has an amazing body, or do you want her bragging about you?

#4 Be a friend without behaving like her other friends. 
 Don’t talk nonsense for hours or spend time talking about her problems in life. Talk about places she visits, movies she’s watched, and her plans for the weekend. Talk date talk and she’ll sense the chemistry in the air.

#5 Try to talk to her when she’s alone. If her other friends are around, talk to her if you must or just avoid her. You can’t really hit on a girl when she’s surrounded by a bevy of friends.
But when you find her alone, make sure you turn on your charm and impress her. See her alone? Chat her up. And if one of her friends come by, grumble audibly in a funny manner and say something like “just when I thought I was going to get some alone time with you, this guy pops up out of nowhere!” and just laugh. She’ll be confused and wonder if you’re being serious or just joking.
But she’ll get the hint that you like spending time with her alone. Make it obvious that you like spending time with her in whatever way possible, but don’t ask her out or tell her you like her just yet.
#6 Compliment her when she deserves it. 
Flatter her pants off. If she looks good, tell her she looks hot. If you see a hint of cleavage and she catches you staring, just laugh, apologize and tell it you couldn’t resist it. Add a few funny sexual remarks and you’ll never get into the friend zone.

#7 Touch her and treat her like your girlfriend.
 But do it respectfully though. Clasp her hand while crossing the street and open doors for her when it’s just the both of you. Make her feel like a queen, and she’ll love the attention. But when her friends are around, don’t give her any preferential treatment. Let her realize that you’re special to her only when it’s just the two of you.
#8 Make her feel special and exclusive. 
Gift her something small and personal, but tell her to keep it a secret. When you create secrets, you build sexual chemistry and suspense which leads to romance.

#9 Ask her out and change the topic. 
When you’re talking to her for a while, ask her out for lunch or a few drinks. See how she responds. But within a second, change the topic. Don’t wait for her to answer. It’ll seem like a joke, but it’ll still make her wonder if you really do want to date her. Don’t make things awkward by waiting a while before saying something else. Keep it simple, keep it funny and yet reveal all the dirty thoughts in your mind, and change the topic immediately.

And i"ll talk to you again soon,
....... Your Friend 

.....LEONHART

BBM PIN:7F329CDD 
BBM CHANNEL: C003DFC14
TWITTER: @chrisxleonhart
FACEBOOK: Chrisking Leonhart
FACEBOOK PAGE : facebook.com/chrisking.leonhart.den
e-Mail: chrisking4u@yahoo.com , lordcommanderleonhart@gmail.com                                              
                  
P.S (look below)