GIRLS AND THE SECRET OF THE CUBE

Lions an Lionesses, that's how i ventured into cold reading oh..
Psychology or Kokology ... Palm reading is one type but this you
just have to try.....

The secret of the cube is a psychological game, its very tricky to
learn and execute but this is one mind game that most attentive and
level headed girls enjoy. I would suggest you wait until the first date
or till shes totally cool with you physically or via chats to do it,
because it takes a while to complete and you need an environment
where there are few distractions.

You can start by asking, "Hey let's play a game. I'm going to ask
you a few questions and your answers will tell me all I need to
know about you." Tell her to relax before you begin, then start. As
you read the routine, pretend I'm doing it on you so you can try to
analyze your answers afterwards.

"Imagine yourself in the middle of the desert. It's a really big
desert and you are the only person there." She may close her eyes
to better imagine this scene. "Now in the middle of this desert,
there is a cube. Describe this cube to me, however you imagine it
to be."

Ask about its size, its relation to the desert (on the floor,
floating in the air, etc.), and what material it's made out of.
Urge her to be as detailed as possible, and only continue when she
is completely done answering.

"In addition to the cube, there is a ladder. Where is this ladder
in relation to the cube?" Ask what material it is made out of and
how many rungs/steps it has.

"Next up is a horse. Where is the horse in relation to the cube and
the ladder?" Ask her about the size, type, and color of the horse.

"Now imagine flowers. Where are they in relation to the cube,
ladder, and horse?" Ask her about the quantity, color, and type of
flowers. Always give her time to provide rich details to get her
imagination going.

"Finally, there is a storm in the horizon. Is the storm coming
closer to you, going away, or staying still?" Then tell her that
the game is finished and that her answers are very interesting.
Feel free to hype up the upcoming analysis by saying you learned
something about her that you didn't expect.

When it comes to the analysis, all you have to know is that the
cube is a representation of her, the ladder is her friends and
family, the horse is her lover, the flowers are her future
children, and the storm is a big problem. With a general idea of
what each one means, and your understanding of the girl, you will
make up an analysis that is both believable and accurate.

INTERPRETATION:

CUBE:
The cube represents the player's image of herself.
A cube that is small in the perspective of the scene suggests that
the player thinks of herself as insignificant or modest while
a larger cube suggests the opposite. A cube on the ground indicates
the player is "down to earth," while a floating cube may indicate a dreamer.
The material of the cube is also of interest.
Generally, a large cube means her ego is large. A small cube means
insecurity, but keep the analysis positive in this case by saying
she is timid or not in possession of a large ego. The material of
the cube displays strength. If her cube material is strong and
solid instead of hollow, this means she is a strong person capable
of handling problems without collapsing, and so on. A soft cube means
she is hesitant and needs a lot of assurances before starting a new
task.

LADDER
The ladder is her support circle. The closer her ladder is to the
cube, the more she relies on her friends and family. If the ladder
leans on her cube, she relies on them as much as they do. If the
ladder is on top of her cube, her circle may be smothering her. If
it's far away, she doesn't rely on them much. Rungs on a ladder say
how many people are close to her life. A strong ladder material
says she can count on her family and friends more than if it was
made with weaker material.

HORSE:
The horse represents the player's lover. As with the previous objects,
the closer to the cube the horse is, the more important or intimate
(or possessive!) the love life of the player is. The horse can also
represent anything you are passionate about, and not just a person
The horse size says whether she wants a dominant or subordinate
male. A large horse means she wants to be led. A pretty horse like
a pony means she wants a metrosexual man. A small horse means she
wants to dominate her partner. The distance between the horse and
the cube and ladder says how close her lover will be to her life. A
horse in a cage (or otherwise immobilized) means she wants to
destroy you.

FLOWERS:
The flowers represent the player's children or future children;
it can also represent creative projects or clients like something
the player creates and/or takes care of. Flowers close to the cube
suggest a close relationship with children (or creations or clients),
while a beaten-down flower would suggest a bad or broken relationship with them.
The number of flowers says how many children she wants to have. The
closer they are to her lover (the horse) means the father will be
close to the children. I'm not sure what flower type is but you can
make it up to mean what type of gender she prefers or what she
wants her kids to be when they grow up.

STORM:
Finally,
the storm's movement signifies if a problem is coming or going
towards her and if she has to soon deal with something important or not.
The storm represents the player's current problems and
her attitude toward them. A storm covering the entire scene
would suggest that the player feels overwhelmed by current problems,
while a storm in the distance or a small storm would suggest
no major, unmanageable problems in the present, and possibly
an optimistic attitude toward the future. A static storm means a problem
that will be staying with you for longer than usual or forever.

SAMPLE.....
Let's do a sample analysis with answers that will be pretty
typical.

Say her cube is about four feet tall, made out of solid wood, and
slightly elevated off the ground. Her ladder is laying on top of
the cube, with ten rungs/steps and made out of metal. There is a large,
black horse that is making circles around the cube and ladder and
there are three yellow dandelions very close by. Finally, she
envisions a storm that is neither coming nor going.

For example if I knew that she is an artsy, independent type, here
is the analysis I would give:

"The cube is a representation of you. Your cube is large, which
means you have a healthy ego and a high sense of self-worth. You
like to keep your head up. The cube is elevated off the ground so
that tells me you're a dreamer. You think a lot and tend to lean
towards the creative side of things instead of the analytical. Wood
is a strong material, meaning you see yourself as strong as well.
It cannot be easily broken. For instance the cube could be hollow
but it's not.

"The fact that your ladder is on top of you means that others rely
on you for support and advice more than you rely on them. So
sometimes you feel smothered. Each step/rung represents a person
who you are close to, so you have a lot of people that place their
trust in you. The ladder is made out of metal, a strong material,
which says your support network is strong and dependable.

"The horse is your lover. Its large size means you want to be led,
and maybe even dominated. But the horse is not too close to the
cube and ladder, so this means you want space from your lover as
well.

"The three flowers means you want a small family. Yellow (as for the
dandelions) is a neutral color so you imagine at least one boy and
one girl. They are close to the cube and ladder which is good
because children should be close to you and your friends and family.
It's hard to tell from your answers where you lover fits in.

"Finally, the storm represents a problem. It's neither going nor
coming, which means that there may be an issue you have that is
staying with you indefinitely."

Because the cube game is involved, it is best you practice it on at
least five other people before you do it on a date. If you get lost
in your analysis, just shovel back what you already know about her
without being too obvious about it.

For instance if the guy friend you are doing it on for practice is
an alpha male type, tell him his cube says he feels confident with
his decision making and likes to lead. If your date is a really
insecure girl, tell her that she is sometimes filled with doubt and
goes through periods of uncertainty.

I've never had a girl who didn't eat up my cube analysis and it's
not because I was necessarily right, but because girls love playing
games that supposedly reveal their true nature. (By the time you do
the cube on her, she has done a hundred of those multiple-choice
personality quizzes.) Even if you are wrong, she will love telling
you how and why, so in the process you really do learn more about
her. If you have a girl get bored or flunk out before you're done,
then revert to my earlier statement about a girl needing to be attentive
and level headed for this to work. If my dear friend you're unlucky
to meet or have that type..what you do with her is "all yo' bidness"

After you're done giving her analysis, feel free to tell her what
your answers to the cube were when your friend (i.e. me) did it on
you. I guarantee you she'll be curious to hear it.

The cube game takes a lot of practice and homework but it's worth
it because it gives you experience with cold reading, a method of
spitting vague generalities that on the surface seem very personal
and accurate. Generally, the more complicated a routine, the bigger
payoff it has if you execute it correctly.

Before I knew how attraction really worked, I'd approach a girl and
talk about boring topics such as work or her favorite movies, and
then she would politely excuse herself from the conversation only a
couple minutes into it. But now I know better. When you talk about
more interesting topics, she sees you as more INTERESTING. Duh,
right? With a couple additional techniques, the "interesting" is
turned into strong attraction.

Once attraction is built you can get her number and take her on a
date later, or go for the one night stand (my preferred method).

For more indepth or extensive reading into the cube games secrets..
visit
https://www.scribd.com/doc/353009/The-secret-of-the-cube

                                             And i'll talk to you again soon,

                                                   Your Friend...

                                                                     ..Leonhart

Photos: google images

sources: psychology wiki, rooshv

WHY SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU ANYMORE

Hello Friends, Lion's and Lionesses...

September was my last time with you and it feels like forever...


Wanna share this with you for the benefit of my friend who keeps asking me why a woman who found you attractive yesterday tends to change her mind subsequently. 

You don't understand? okay let me narrate this..

 I was talking to a good friend a few nights ago,
and he told me an interesting story.

  He was walking home recently, when he walked by
a couple who were obviously in an emotional discussion.

  As it turned out, the woman was breaking up with
the man, and he was trying to understand why.

  The interchange went something like this:Her: "I'm not ATTRACTED to you anymore... I just don't
FEEL IT."

Him: "But I would do ANYTHING to make this work...
I'll do anything you want... just tell me what to
do."

Her: "That's the problem. You just don't get it."

....and that was all he heard.

  Have you ever been there?

  Have you ever had a girlfriend break up with you,
or just drift away, and the more you tried to hold
on, the further she ran from you? And the more you
tried to be a "good guy" and please her, the more
distant she became?

  Well, me too. I've been there MORE than once in
my life.

  And it ALWAYS SUCKED.

  The worst part about it was NEVER UNDERSTANDING
WHAT THE HECK WAS GOING ON!

  I can remember being that guy I just told you the
story about... and asking "Why? Why are you confused?
What do I have to do to make this work?"

  I was willing to change, act different, or whatever.

  Little did I know at the time, but it was this EXACT
attitude that led to all the problems in the first
place.

  If you've read my posts for awhile now, you
probably know that women don't feel the emotion called
ATTRACTION for guys who act weak, needy, insecure
and "WUSS-LIKE".

  But unless you know this to begin with, then it's
ALL TOO EASY to become a "nice", overly-accommodating,
uninteresting, predictable, boring guy... and even
though it seems logical that a woman should love to
be treated like a queen at all times, you've probably
found out, just like I have, that this combination
usually leads to a woman either 1) Leaving you...
or 2) Becoming increasingly controlling, domineering,
and neurotic.

  So what's up with that? Why does this happen? And
more importantly, what can we do to avoid getting into
this horrible position of losing a woman's attention
because we're trying to be nice to her?

  Here's my take, after studying this stuff for about nine years now...

1. ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE.

  In other words, we humans don't CHOOSE who we feel
attracted to... and, JUST AS IMPORTANT, who we DON'T
feel attracted to.

  ATTRACTION happens for reasons all its own, and
these reasons have evolved inside of us over the last
several million years.

  While culture, peer pressure, and trends can shape
our natural drives slightly, the FUNDAMENTALS NEVER
CHANGE.


2. MEN ARE ATTRACTED MORE TO LOOKS, WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED
MORE TO PERSONALITY AND CHARACTER.

  Most men can't believe it, but to a woman your
looks just aren't that much important as u believe especially when it comes down to relationships not flings.

  Sure, if you don't take care of yourself, don't
bathe, and let two of your front teeth rot out you
might scare away the ladies.

  But for the most part, women will look past just
about ANY physical issue if she feels that all-important
emotion called ATTRACTION.

  And ATTRACTION is created by your PERSONALITY.

  For women, ATTRACTION is triggered by male qualities
like: Dominance, Humor, Unpredictability, Adventure,
Strength, Sexual Awareness, Indifference, Etc.


3. WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO WUSSIES.

  'Nuff said.


4. WOMEN TEST MEN BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO.

  When a woman begins to feel a romantic connection
with you, she faces an interesting problem...

  How can she tell for sure if your character and
personality are the way you're expressing them?

  As we all know, men and women BOTH show off and
exaggerate their "good sides" while downplaying and
hiding their negative traits at first. This is why
men suck in their guts, brag, and show off... and
why women wear makeup, do their hair, and shop all
day for their clothes.

  If you were a woman, and you needed to figure out
if a man was showing you his "true self", how would
you do it?

  What if you had to know FOR SURE?

  The only way is to TEST on an ongoing basis, and
to keep escalating the tests to be sure.

  Put all this together (with a bunch of other factors
that I don't have time to talk about) and you get
an interesting problem that women face...

  A woman responds to a man that stirs her emotions,
and causes her to want him so badly that she'll put
aside all logic and reason to be with him.

  But what if the man is just pretending? What if
he only SEEMS to be this confident, funny, manly-man
on the outside, but he's actually a push-over WUSS-BAG
that is insecure and makes up for it by acting like
a tough guy?

  Or worse yet, what if he's a WUSS all the time,
and she just happened to settle for him because he
was available and persistent... and she didn't have
anything better going on at the time... but now she
has other options?

  Well, these are the kinds of situations, that when
played out, lead to the story that I started with...
a man begging a woman to stay... pleading with her to
explain what he has to do to keep her.

  Of course, this is all WUSSY behavior, and it only
serves to put the final nail in the coffin, convincing
the object of your desire that you are ABSOLUTELY,
beyond the shadow of any doubt, a Wuss.

  So what's the answer?

  The answer is to NEVER BE THOUGHT OF AS A WUSSY
AGAIN!

  If you want to make your dating life a whole lot
better and easier, then stop and think about your
behavior... and resolve right now to stop acting like
a WUSS for the rest of your life.

  Being "nice" and "accommodating" and "understanding"
is great for friendships and social relationships,
but it's HORRIBLE for ATTRACTION.

  An interesting, attractive woman doesn't want a
guy that she can push around. She doesn't want a guy
who does what she wants him to do. She doesn't want
a little boy that she can train and raise.

  An interesting, attractive woman wants a MAN.

  This doesn't make LOGICAL sense, I know. But it's
the truth. These submissive qualities will only work
in attracting a woman IF SHE LIKES DRESSING UP IN
LEATHER AND WHIPPING HER MAN... AND CHARGING $400.00
AN HOUR!

  And my guess is that this isn't the kind of woman
that you're looking for.

  I've explained some of the important qualities
that you need to cultivate in yourself if you want
to attract women... and keep them attracted.

Now am gonna get back to this annoying job...but i will always remain...

Your Friend...

Leonhart...

THE TEASING GAME (SECRET:1 step forward, 2 steps back)

Hello Lion's and Lionesses. been battling with inspiration and time due to the recent loss i suffered but i have to leave you guys with this top secret I've known and used for years to get women to practically throw themselves at me. 

The secret Method of Taking a step forward and two steps backwards. You still don't get it ya? Lemme explain... Years ago a friend told me that if you slap someone with your bare

hand, you will feel as much pain as the person you slapped. And

it's true because the nerve receptors in your hand cannot tell the

difference if it's doing the slapping or if it's being slapped.

(This is probably why my mom preferred to beat me with a broom.)

Let me explain how this concept applies to the game.

I was at a gig with a girl I had been on one date with. We hadn't

had sex yet but I definitely wanted to. When I look back in my

dating history at the girls that really got me going, I noticed they

were all very good at teasing me. 

These girls knew how to restrain themselves and postpone some

pleasure now for more pleasure later. I understood this concept and

was beginning to use it on girls, but I would often give in early

because I was impatient and horny.

I didn't fully understand that the anticipation of intimacy is more

arousing than intimacy itself. Therefore anticipation of a kiss is

more arousing than the kiss itself. You can suck face with someone

for one hour, but after sometime you will get less from that kiss until your lips go numb and you don't feel like kissing anymore. In fact the best way to make a girl horny is to kiss her LESS and build

sexual tension that begs to be relieved in the bedroom.

My date and I already kissed before so there wasn't going to be any

major surprise , but what I would do is get very close to her lips and barely brush against them with mine without kissing her, and then pull back. Her head would follow me back, until she realized I wasn't going to kiss her. She would smile and I would smile, and we'd take a sip of our drink and i would watch her dance a little more.

That night I did the pull-back game for almost TWO HOURS without kissing her once, until I was ready to explode (remember that when you tease someone, you tease yourself by the same amount). But she had no idea that I was going through a harder time than she was because I did my best to put on a relaxed facade.

Let me sidetrack real quick and mention that this idea works with

emotions too. It's impossible not to feel the emotions you try to

make others feel. If you want a girl to fall in love with you, and

you seduce her successfully, you will also fall in love with her to a certain degree. Knowing this is incredible because it says that you can feel whatever emotion you try to create in others. 

For example if I want to feel passion, I just have to make someone

else feel it. If I want to feel love, I just have to make someone

else feel love. Unfortunately many people unknowingly use this for

negative emotions such as jealousy, fear, and anger.

Back to the story. I drove my date home and in my bedroom she gave me absolutely no resistance. She let me do whatever I wanted to do and for that night her body was mine in any way I desired.

After that incredible night, does it mean I can stop teasing her?

Of course not! No matter how far along the relationship we are,

both of us have to keep the sexual tension tight to keep the good

feelings going. The moment either of us stops putting in work to

induce maximal pleasure is the moment the relationship will become stale. Because anyone can just keep making out. But not many cannot.

The only way I learned how to tease a girl was by taking notes on

all the girls I was hooking up with. If what they did felt really good to me, I figured it would feel good to a girl as well. Most of what I learned about how to please women and satisfy them actually comes from girls.

Before you can get to the point where you are teasing and kissing a

girl, you need to know how to build attraction. I used to live in

my own personal hell because there would be a girl I liked but I

had no idea how to build attraction, no idea how to kiss her, and

no idea how to get her in bed. I had the desire, but I didn't have

the knowledge because my toolbox was completely empty. It took me years to learn that knowledge, and am more than happhy to share it with you my friends.. so stay tuned and always keep your game tight.

 Your friend, 

...Leonhart

@chrisxleonhart

SUCCESSFUL FIRST DATES- BANG SERIES

                                      READER DISCRETION: MEN ONLY + OPINIONATED TOPIC.

Friends and partners in crime *winks

Took a long break but now i am back and refreshed...

Guys always ask on how not to screw up a first date.... well.

Here are a few pointers. And thanks to Roosh, they may not all work for you. But like i said... they are pointers. If you're a reader of THE LION'S DEN I'd expect you've at least left the "wuss zone". So understanding this shouldn't be a task and putting them to good use would just be your pleasure.

Besides the actual act of sex, first dates are the most enjoyable

part of the game. It's where two people who barely know each other

are alone and isolated with a cloud of sexual tension lingering in

the air. Here's a few tips to turn that sexual tension into a

bang...

1. PICK THE RIGHT DAY.

 Don't try to have a first date on a weekend,

especially if you haven't kissed her yet. Weekend dates send the

wrong message that you value her too much and are ready to give a

"primetime" night to someone you just met. Instead stick to Monday

through Thursday for the first date. My favorite day for first

dates are Wednesdays, because what girl is busy on a Wednesday

night?

2. PICK THE RIGHT VENUE.

 Sure you can have great conversation by

taking girls out to dinner and ice cream dates, but if your goal is

to bang as fast as possible, you MUST do a drinks date. A great

time to schedule it is 9pm as that will cue her to eat beforehand,

saving you money.

Even if your drinks date is short of a blockbuster, it's very hard

not to get at least a make out if she's had three or more drinks in

her. In fact one way to know that she doesn't like you is if she

refuses to have more than one drink.

3.PREPARE! 

There is no way you can memorize enough routines for a

date that lasts two hours or more, and even if you could it would

be a stupid waste of energy. You're going to have to be REAL and

this is where I hope your vibe is fun and interesting. If not then

dates will be a challenge

I prepare for dates by having several fun routines ready, usually The Concentration Game (ask each other popular questions that have several answers, first who fails to answer or forgets or repeats an answer gets to drink a shot of vodka) This is fun and makes them drink....letting their guard down. however only really fun girls would try this on a first date. Other routines exist too. I also remind myself of touching moves and body language that prime her for the kiss.

Quick Tip (potheads will interpret this differently) : On your way to dates call up a couple friends and shoot the shit with them for a while. Since first dates are mostly a talking affair, you want that part of your brain to be ready. The worst thing you can do is lounge around at home all day in front of  your computer/phone and then go out on a date without having done any talking beforehand.

4. CHILL THE FUCK OUT.

It's natural to be nervous, especially with

the pressure of getting laid hanging over your head. But I

guarantee you she is more nervous than you are, simply because

she's a girl and is programmed to stress about everything. I can't

be the only person who knows girls who can't even go to a public

bathroom without a friend. 

The more you have your internal game straightened out and believe a girl should prove her value to you, the less you will be nervous

yourself. Think of her on a stage, twirling and spinning for your

pleasure. Whether this is reality or not doesn't matter... just

believe it.

5. SHOW UP LATE.

I'm always AT LEAST five minutes late, though I

try to hit ten minutes. You want to stir up some anxiety and fear

that she's being stood up so that she thinks about her insecurities

("Am I not pretty enough?") instead of yours. 

Even if you arrive early, mill around in the parking lot or

wherever for a while until you're late. The upper limit of lateness

to where the girl gets seriously pissed off is around fifteen

minutes, so try to keep it under that.

6. FOCUS ON ESCALATION.

  The best way to do this is by touching her

more and more as the date progresses. First you start with innocent

touches on her forearm or shoulder, then you graduate to touching

her hands after the half-hour mark, then you wrap your arm around

her waist. Next thing you know your heads are mere inches apart and the kiss is a foregone conclusion.

I believe that kissing results more because of touching than

because of interesting conversation. Think of it this way:

conversation makes her feel comfortable with you touching her, and....

touching makes her feel comfortable with you kissing her. Sometimes

you can kiss a girl with touching alone.

7. ALWAYS GO FOR THE BANG.

  Even if you don't think you will get the

bang on the same night, it's still prudent to go for it. The reason

is because it makes your job much easier for the second date. The farther you get on the first date, the less work you have to do on the second. 

Even if the first date goes well, you can't make the assumption

there will be a second. How about if her long lost ex-boyfriend

calls the next day? How about if her friends cock-block you? Then

you'll kick yourself in the ass that you didn't push it. Always go

for the bang and I'm confident you'll be surprised at how far you

get.

As you've probably noticed, most of the work in having a great

first date is done before you even show up. A little preparation

for them goes a long way, especially if you consider that it takes

quite a bit of work to meet a new girl and then get her out. Don't

blow it by not preparing yourself.

I learned these date tips by going on A LOT of dates. I'm sure I've

been on at least 100 first dates, in parks, bars, clubs,

bookstores, coffee shops, museums, malls, ice cream parlors,

pastries, and my bed-room, to name a few. 

I've tried it all, and through my experiences have figured out some

seemingly "obvious" things like how a common neighborhood bar is the best place to have a date as long as you can sit close to her.

There's the big things in-game like having the optimal attitude or

the best opening line, but the small things count too because they

quickly add up and make getting laid a lot easier. 

As always, i leave you with a funny picture to study and ponder upon.

Always your Manchi!
LEONHART...

WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO SAY "I LOVE YOU"?

When should I play the L card? What’s the right time to say I love you?

Is there ever a right time? What if I say it and she doesn’t? Should I say it first or wait for her to say it? What if it gets awkward between us after I say those three most POWERFUL words in the universe?

If you’re grappling with these questions presently, then congratulations, you’re past the casual fling stage and entering a stage in your relationship where you’re starting to get serious with your partner. The timing has to be spot on, the atmosphere, the setting, has to be memorable. It doesn’t need to be a seven star hotel when you lay your heart open, it could even be your living room (make sure it’s clean). So how do you figure when its the RIGHT time to tell her you love her?

Get your reasons right

Saying I love you to someone is a beautiful thing, so make sure it’s not said for the wrong reasons. It is not to be thrown around casually. Maybe you’re insecure in the relationship and you feel these words will reel your partner in and make them feel guilty enough into staying with you. Or, your girlfriend is too shy to jump into the sack with you and the L word, you think, is your trump card into sealing the deal. No. Make sure your intentions are good, your heart, pure, and what you feel for this person, a hundred percent true (if possible)

Test the waters

You’ve been on quite a few romantic dates. You’ve kissed each other passionately, and held hands, whispered sweet nothings in each others ears. You know you like her, a lot, and she likes you back. It’s in the way you try to touch each other, the way her pupils dilate when she looks at you, the way she smiles at you. You love spending time with her, and when you aren’t around her, you find yourself invariably reaching for the phone to talk to her or text her. But wait for a little longer before you lay the L card. Get to know her feelings well. Find out if she really feels about you the way you feel about her. Whether, she too, sees this relationship going somewhere. Don’t say it too soon because it might overwhelm her and she might bolt. But don’t hold it back for too long either, or else she might go looking for love elsewhere.

Don’t say it under influence

OK, so you’ve been thinking of saying it, you just haven’t had the courage yet. However, you’ve made up your mind to do it one of these days – whatever happens, happens. But DO NOT use alcohol as a crutch to help you speak what’s in your heart. Of course, alcohol will relax you and you might feel you can pretty much do anything. But if you want to be taken seriously by your girlfriend, if you want to say the words, I love you, exactly the way you planned to say them, and if you want to remember the special moment for all the right reasons (not throwing up and making a scene), stay away from alcohol. Nothing like slurring the most important words you’ll ever say and drooling for added effect.

Go with your gut

Mostly it’s just that strong intense feeling in your gut that says what you’re about to do is the right thing, much like knowing when to lean in for that first kiss. You can just feel it coursing through your veins, a sort of an uneasy sensation that rises up to your throat and you feel if you don’t share it with your girlfriend, you might die. Mildly melodramatic, but it is true. Listen to your gut very carefully because that little bugger is right most of the times.

Once you feel you’re ready to say the magical words, just take her hands in yours, look deep into her eyes, and tell her what’s in your heart. Tell her you love her and that you can’t believe how incredibly happy she makes you; that when she’s around, you feel like a different man, a better man, the luckiest man alive; that you can spend the rest of your life in her sweet embrace.

 And i'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend

...LEONHART

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VALENTINE AND ME

 

The Legend of St. Valentine

           The history of Valentine's Day and the story of its patron saint--is shrouded in mystery. We do know that February has long been celebrated as a month of romance, and that St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. But who was Saint Valentine, and how did he become associated with this ancient rite?

The Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred. One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.

Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons, where they were often beaten and tortured. According to one legend, an imprisoned Valentine actually sent the first "valentine" greeting himself after he fell in love with a young girl--possibly his jailor's daughter--who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter signed "From your Valentine," an expression that is still in use today.

 Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories all emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic and--most importantly--romantic figure. By the Middle Ages, perhaps thanks to this reputation, Valentine would become one of the most popular saints in England and France.

Origins of Valentine's Day: A Pagan Festival in February

While some believe that Valentine's Day is celebrated in the middle of February to commemorate the anniversary of Valentine's death or burial--which probably occurred around A.D. 270--others claim that the Christian church may have decided to place St. Valentine's feast day in the middle of February in an effort to "Christianize" the pagan celebration of Lupercalia. Celebrated at the ides of February, or February 15, Lupercalia was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus.

To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at a sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification. They would then strip the goat's hide into strips, dip them into the sacrificial blood and take to the streets, gently slapping both women and crop fields with the goat hide. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed the touch of the hides because it was believed to make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would each choose a name and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage.

Valentine's Day: A Day of Romance

Lupercalia survived the initial rise of Christianity but was outlawed—as it was deemed “UN-Christian”--at the end of the 5th century, when Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine's Day. It was not until much later, however, that the day became definitively associated with love. During the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds' mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of  February (Valentine's Day) should be a day for romance.

Valentine greetings were popular as far back as the Middle Ages, though written Valentine's didn't begin to appear until after 1400. The oldest known valentine still in existence today was a poem written in 1415 by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. (The greeting is now part of the manuscript collection of the British Library in London, England.)

Several years later, it is believed that King Henry V hired a writer named John Lychgate to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois.

Typical Valentine's Day Greetings

In addition to Africa and the United States, Valentine's Day is celebrated in Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, France and Australia. In Great Britain, Valentine's Day began to be popularly celebrated around the 17th century. By the middle of the 18th, it was common for friends and lovers of all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes, and by 1900 printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology. Ready-made cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one's feelings was discouraged. Cheaper postage rates also contributed to an increase in the popularity of sending Valentine's Day greetings.

Americans probably began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s. In the 1840s, Esther A. Howland began selling the first mass-produced valentines in America. Howland, known as the “Mother of the Valentine,” made elaborate creations with real lace, ribbons and colorful pictures known as "scrap." Today, according to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated 1 billion Valentine’s Day cards are sent each year, making Valentine's Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year. (An estimated 2.6 billion cards are sent for Christmas.) Women purchase approximately 85 percent of all valentines.

Choice in Love

Any person has a capacity to love if he is capable of behaving at all. But there remains a question of choice upon whom a person will bestow his power to love, his power to satisfy, make happy, help the other grow, if he wants to love at all. A person may choose someone on the basis of certain estimable characteristics. He may choose someone he thinks will give him much love.

bachelors would each choose a name and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage.

3 Common Criteria for Loving

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• Helplessness and need - It is easy to love another who is helpless and in need of a loving behavior without expecting anything in return. Hence it is easier to love the children who need care and protection more than the adult. When we love the children, we just give without expecting the same intensity of love we give them.
• Conformity with the Lover's Ideals - It's entirely different when we love as adults. A potential lover must have good appearance, healthy personality, and good behavior which the other must confirm before love is offered. The concept of the "ideal wife" or the "ideal husband" may be a decisive factor in determining whom to select to love. A person may pursue another who shows the beautiful and ideal characteristics as of pleasing personality, tenderness, consideration, moral uprightness, including other complex traits like good health, emotional maturity, stability, and intelligence. Some sociologists gather evidences to show that people select mates on the basis of complimentary needs, like dormant men choose passive women, some men choose less intelligent women or women from lower socioeconomic status who will make them feel superior.
• Ability of the Loved One to Reciprocate- Loving another adult is conditional. A person may not experience the desire to love another person until and unless the other person shows clear signs of a desire to love first. In other words, a person can be moved to love if, and only if, he has been first assured that he is loved. A would-be lover is afraid to take risk of being rejected, or is not willing to love, unless he sees some guarantee that his love will be returned.

The Need to Love and to be Loved

When we were born, we were helplessly in need of love from our parents in order to survive. We receive from them loving care, emotional displays of affection, and attention to our basic needs. Infants who were deprived of such, especially of a mother's personalized attention, grow in deviant ways, compared to infants who grew up in a foundling home with adequate physical care and adequate mothering.

a child who had not experienced love may grow into a psychopath who is incapable of active loving and has no conscious longings for love. If a child has had a taste of love, one that's just enough to feel it as good, he may develop what Levy called "primary effect hunger" and pursue love the rest of his life, at any cost.

The ability to love actively, is therefore an outgrowth of having one's love needs gratified earlier in life. A person whose needs are thwarted is a hungry person, seeking to be filled. When one is empty, he can hardly give. The healthy lover is one who is filled and who gives freely to his loved ones not only because of their needs but because of his abundance.

However, take note… no one is so full that he can love endlessly without receiving love in return. In mutual love, where the partners have chosen wisely, each can give freely what the other needs and each receives in return for the happiness and growth of both.

Valentine’s Day is coming up. I can smell it. I can smell the fake flowers bought hurriedly by nervous boyfriends from Shoprite; I can smell the desperation as singletons try and find someone – anyone – with whom to spend the evening; I can smell the fear. It is, in all honesty, a terrible day for everybody. Nobody wins, except perhaps Shoprite again and Deluxe Cinema’s. People who aren’t in a relationship get an entire 24 hours devoted to rubbing their noses in this tragic fact, and the people who are get to receive flowers they have no room for, chocolates they don’t even like, and teddy bears they haven’t appreciated since they were about 14 (none of which were what they hoped for, because,believe me boys, when a girl says ‘no, let’s not do presents this year’ she really, REALLY doesn’t mean it).

Unfortunately the presents, bought to spell out ‘I love you’, very rarely manage to convey such a complex emotion – in fact, they generally mean something else entirely. Flowers translate as ‘I completely forgot it was Valentine’s Day so I stole these out of an old lady’s garden when I was on the way to meet you’; chocolates translate as ‘I literally had no idea what to get you, so I bought you these’ and teddy bears translate as ‘I’m totally skint (broke) so here’s an ‘I love you’ teddy you can name after me ….(just as you named the last after your ex and the one before too…etc)’. Now, should I receive any gifts this Valentine’s Day – hoards of admirers take note – I should want something personal, something that says ‘I do actually know who you are and what you like’. A carton of Le’ roux or Andre, red wine or a keg of palm wine would be nice, for example. I do like my wine.

But this is exactly Valentine’s Day’s problem, if it were attending a self-help group along with a bunch of other seriously disturbed public holidays (May Day, for example – I mean, what on earth is that celebrating? What’s so good about May?) In such circumstances, Valentine’s Day would be forced to own up to the fact that it no longer has much to do with love, and that it was invented by the greetings card companies who saw a whole four months between New Year and Easter during which they had no way of squeezing money out of the innocent British public in exchange for pieces of shiny cardboard.

 Okay, I lie. That isn’t exactly how Valentine’s Day originated – it has a much nicer story than that (above). But the day has certainly been corrupted. These days it’s about proving yourself and your relationship to everybody else; it’s about not being the only one in your group of friends that has to spend the day alone; it’s about buying the biggest and most useless gift for your loved one, when really it should be about appreciating and celebrating your relationship. Although this in itself sounds a bit odd – why should we need Clinton Cards to tell our partners we love them? Surely we should be doing it every day already?

But I guess the point is that we aren’t. Much as I would love everybody to live in my world, in which cannabis and booze are good for you and people say ‘I love you’ all the time, reality just isn’t like that. Valentine’s Day has been turned into a business, losing much of its charm in the process, but in essence, I suppose, it might still be necessary. (Though for the record it is never necessary to buy a card so big it doesn’t fit through the letterbox – this does not prove your love, only that you don’t think ahead and like to embarrass your love by making him or her go down to the post office to collect it.)

The reason Valentine’s Day is such a failure, then, is because we forget its simple message, hype it up and inevitably get disappointed. Single people expect to be whisked off their feet (unlikely), people in relationships expect to be whisked off their feet (even more unlikely), and everybody forgets what it really means: constant, steady, reliable, lovely love. Not just romantic love, but every single silly type of love this world plays host to. The love we have for our parents, our siblings, our friends, our pets – all are equally important and equally undervalued in our busy, stressful lives and are the ones (not just a lover) who deserve appreciation on Valentine’s day, and Every day of our lives while they are still alive and with us.( I love you Dad)

I started off this article with its history and ended it wanting to expose Valentine’s Day, but I don’t think it needs exposing – I think we all know how silly it is. The real point is that even though we know this, we still partake in it. None of us, me included, are willing to get rid of it because we all hope that one day we will be whisked away to New York in a heart shaped plane to be wined and dined and taken shopping.

 
This is a nice dream, but save it for when you’re sleeping. and ask yourself: who do you love? And then tell them. Tell every last one of them because I can guarantee you do not tell them enough, and nothing says ‘I love you’ better than that. Except perhaps heart shaped planes, but I wouldn’t hold my breath. I doubt they’re the right shape for air travel.

I'll talk to you again soon 

Your Friend 

.....Leonhart

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