Day 2- The Valentino code

                     (For Players Only)

PLAYER, Danger!
Valentine’s Day is here again…But there’s danger. If you’re a player, you’re likely to get gifts from many of your girls. Remember that this is also an opportunity for those shy girls with a secret crush to reveal themselves and try to win your heart through a bold token which hints at what they really want ...YOU.

 If you have an office job, the same goes for any cute OLs (office ladies), or co-workers, that haven’t found the right TPO (time, place, and opportunity) to show their feelings. And, even if they are just being kind with no intentions, your girlfriend may not see it that way.
 





So, be careful about showing off your Valentine’s Day booty(gifts) – it could blow up in your face. Your Steady girlfriend will easily pick up on the little nuances in communication that will blindside you. Not only will she be angry at the girl for trying to move in on her territory, but she’ll be equally angry with you for not making it very, very clear, to whoever she is, that you are off limits.
Hiding behind a sheepish grin and pleading ignorance won’t help you here. Remember, she thinks of you as a player- player extraordinaire; and, a guy who pulls every girl’s heart strings at will, like you do with her. (Either that, or she picked a tame pussycat for a boyfriend.) 
                       
What About Your Other 4 Girlfriends?
If you’re dating multiple women, things get even trickier, especially if  Valentine’s Day falls on Friday, Saturday or Sunday. Each girl will want to see you in person and each of them will feel that if she’s really important then you’ll spend Valentine’s Day with her.
Many girls are too busy to be able to meet you on actual Valentine’s Day, or they may only be available to meet you for a short time. Other girls may feel that it’s important that you spend that night with her, so you’ll need some kind of excuse. If you know that Valentine’s Day will be hectic, then it’s a great idea to plan to meet up with some of your guy friends so that you are legitimately busy.
 
If you do decide to spend that day with a girl be aware that you may come home to a surprise. I once came home with a girl and was greeted by my house-help with a bag. Inside was a box of male undies and a nice card from another girl I was seeing who must have taken the time to drop them by even though she knew I was busy that day. I remember hurriedly closing the bag with the gift still inside while trying to maintain calm, cool, nonchalant demeanor. My heart rate was fluctuating wildly as I pulsated from dread, imagining how ugly things could have been if we’d shown up and run into her while she was making the drop, to relief that it didn’t happen.
I had one friend who found it so stressful, that he would start a fight a few days or a week before the big day and then make up and get back together with them after! Now, I’m not recommending this “technique” but I want to make sure you know all the options out there.
However, if you have set up your life in a way that you’re always a busy guy with an erratic schedule like me, you’re well positioned to handle Valentine’s Day or any other holiday. The randomness of your schedule will give you more freedom, because you won’t have to break any patterns. And as I will discuss in a subsequent article, it’s the patterns that give a person away.
 This article may sound doom and gloom, but if you take the right precautions and set your relationships up right from the beginning, you’re in for lots of Valentine’s Day treats.
And it'll talk to you again soon..
Your Friend 
......Leonhart

BBM PIN: 7AC6F967
TWITTER & IG : @chrisxleonhart
FACEBOOK: Chrisking Leonhart
FACEBOOK PAGE : Facebook.com/chrisking.leonhart.den
e-Mail: chrisking4u@yahoo.com , lordcommanderleonhart@gmail.com

SUCCESSFUL FIRST DATES- BANG SERIES

                                      READER DISCRETION: MEN ONLY + OPINIONATED TOPIC.

Friends and partners in crime *winks

Took a long break but now i am back and refreshed...

Guys always ask on how not to screw up a first date.... well.

Here are a few pointers. And thanks to Roosh, they may not all work for you. But like i said... they are pointers. If you're a reader of THE LION'S DEN I'd expect you've at least left the "wuss zone". So understanding this shouldn't be a task and putting them to good use would just be your pleasure.

Besides the actual act of sex, first dates are the most enjoyable

part of the game. It's where two people who barely know each other

are alone and isolated with a cloud of sexual tension lingering in

the air. Here's a few tips to turn that sexual tension into a

bang...

1. PICK THE RIGHT DAY.

 Don't try to have a first date on a weekend,

especially if you haven't kissed her yet. Weekend dates send the

wrong message that you value her too much and are ready to give a

"primetime" night to someone you just met. Instead stick to Monday

through Thursday for the first date. My favorite day for first

dates are Wednesdays, because what girl is busy on a Wednesday

night?

2. PICK THE RIGHT VENUE.

 Sure you can have great conversation by

taking girls out to dinner and ice cream dates, but if your goal is

to bang as fast as possible, you MUST do a drinks date. A great

time to schedule it is 9pm as that will cue her to eat beforehand,

saving you money.

Even if your drinks date is short of a blockbuster, it's very hard

not to get at least a make out if she's had three or more drinks in

her. In fact one way to know that she doesn't like you is if she

refuses to have more than one drink.

3.PREPARE! 

There is no way you can memorize enough routines for a

date that lasts two hours or more, and even if you could it would

be a stupid waste of energy. You're going to have to be REAL and

this is where I hope your vibe is fun and interesting. If not then

dates will be a challenge

I prepare for dates by having several fun routines ready, usually The Concentration Game (ask each other popular questions that have several answers, first who fails to answer or forgets or repeats an answer gets to drink a shot of vodka) This is fun and makes them drink....letting their guard down. however only really fun girls would try this on a first date. Other routines exist too. I also remind myself of touching moves and body language that prime her for the kiss.

Quick Tip (potheads will interpret this differently) : On your way to dates call up a couple friends and shoot the shit with them for a while. Since first dates are mostly a talking affair, you want that part of your brain to be ready. The worst thing you can do is lounge around at home all day in front of  your computer/phone and then go out on a date without having done any talking beforehand.

4. CHILL THE FUCK OUT.

It's natural to be nervous, especially with

the pressure of getting laid hanging over your head. But I

guarantee you she is more nervous than you are, simply because

she's a girl and is programmed to stress about everything. I can't

be the only person who knows girls who can't even go to a public

bathroom without a friend. 

The more you have your internal game straightened out and believe a girl should prove her value to you, the less you will be nervous

yourself. Think of her on a stage, twirling and spinning for your

pleasure. Whether this is reality or not doesn't matter... just

believe it.

5. SHOW UP LATE.

I'm always AT LEAST five minutes late, though I

try to hit ten minutes. You want to stir up some anxiety and fear

that she's being stood up so that she thinks about her insecurities

("Am I not pretty enough?") instead of yours. 

Even if you arrive early, mill around in the parking lot or

wherever for a while until you're late. The upper limit of lateness

to where the girl gets seriously pissed off is around fifteen

minutes, so try to keep it under that.

6. FOCUS ON ESCALATION.

  The best way to do this is by touching her

more and more as the date progresses. First you start with innocent

touches on her forearm or shoulder, then you graduate to touching

her hands after the half-hour mark, then you wrap your arm around

her waist. Next thing you know your heads are mere inches apart and the kiss is a foregone conclusion.

I believe that kissing results more because of touching than

because of interesting conversation. Think of it this way:

conversation makes her feel comfortable with you touching her, and....

touching makes her feel comfortable with you kissing her. Sometimes

you can kiss a girl with touching alone.

7. ALWAYS GO FOR THE BANG.

  Even if you don't think you will get the

bang on the same night, it's still prudent to go for it. The reason

is because it makes your job much easier for the second date. The farther you get on the first date, the less work you have to do on the second. 

Even if the first date goes well, you can't make the assumption

there will be a second. How about if her long lost ex-boyfriend

calls the next day? How about if her friends cock-block you? Then

you'll kick yourself in the ass that you didn't push it. Always go

for the bang and I'm confident you'll be surprised at how far you

get.

As you've probably noticed, most of the work in having a great

first date is done before you even show up. A little preparation

for them goes a long way, especially if you consider that it takes

quite a bit of work to meet a new girl and then get her out. Don't

blow it by not preparing yourself.

I learned these date tips by going on A LOT of dates. I'm sure I've

been on at least 100 first dates, in parks, bars, clubs,

bookstores, coffee shops, museums, malls, ice cream parlors,

pastries, and my bed-room, to name a few. 

I've tried it all, and through my experiences have figured out some

seemingly "obvious" things like how a common neighborhood bar is the best place to have a date as long as you can sit close to her.

There's the big things in-game like having the optimal attitude or

the best opening line, but the small things count too because they

quickly add up and make getting laid a lot easier. 

As always, i leave you with a funny picture to study and ponder upon.

Always your Manchi!
LEONHART...

HOW TO CHEAT AND NOT GET CAUGHT (MEN ONLY: READERS DISCRETION ADVISED).

·          

Obviously I don’t think cheating on a girlfriend is morally right, and I think it’s wrong to bang your girl without a condom and then creep without it too because you’re exposing her to diseases that could create an uncomfortable situation. However am gonna justify this post by saying this. Sometimes it’s best to know what to do in order not to lose something special when you can’t avoid the habit of creeping. When I want to cheat, I keep it locked down so tightly that it would take a lottery chance event to get me. The result is I get to fulfill my perverse needs while having something stable with a girl that I care for. That’s a win-win… unless she finds out. Here’s what to do to make sure that doesn’t happen:

1. Get started on the right foot.  

Do not get into that pattern where you must talk on the phone every day. To accomplish this you’ll have to state that you need your “space” early in the relationship that you don’t want it to get into that friendly boring zone where you’re talking about what time you woke up and what you had for lunch. She’ll honor your request but slip and send frequent text messages, which is fine—it’s easy to creep with another girl when all you got to do is send texts.

Also, if you want to actually have the ability to cheat, you need time not only to meet other girls but to take them out on dates. This means you want to get into no more than a twice-a-week date pattern with your girl, one date on the weekday and one on the weekend. Resist her efforts to see you more by saying again you need space and are the loner type that feels smothered easily.

2. Don’t give her access to your phone or computer.

  Remember This is how 90% of guys get caught cheating. They left their phone laying around, unlocked, and the girl finds incriminating text messages. It’s easy to brush off female numbers in your phone as old, but not a text message stamped yesterday where you confirmed fresh plans. Either delete the text messages manually before you see her or lock your keypad. Fail to do either and you will get busted eventually, guaranteed. Girls are savvy with cell phones and only need sixty seconds to sift through your messages or call history.

I’ve caught two girls messing around with my phone. Once I went to go wash my cock after sex and came back with my phone on the floor instead of the nightstand. The other time I spent the night at this half caste girl’s house and woke up in the morning with all my clothes gone. I walked around her place dazed and naked, wondering if I just got got, and found her sitting on the bathroom toilet going through all my shit.

For your computer, log off your email/facebook account when you know she’s coming over and then launch a different browser that you never use. While it would take time for her to sift through emails if you slip to the bathroom, girls go straight to the Sent folder to gather evidence. I’m certain that the female species plays dumb with gadgets and computers on purpose so that we leave our things laying around. Also lock down anything else that could get you in trouble like Skype (call history) and the secret dating apps you operate.

3. Don’t create a lasting impression with her friends. 

While some guys will argue that a way to win a girl is through her friends, I only find that to be the case with very young girls around college age—once she’s in her mid-20′s she doesn’t seek as much approval from her friends as before. If you’re meeting her friends for the first time then show up in an outfit you never wear and also a slightly different hair or beard configuration. You don’t need to wear a disguise but appear a little differently.

The reason is that her friends are spies and when you’re creeping they may spot you and then immediately rat you out. By looking different and not making an impression, the goal here is they don’t recognize you when you’re creeping. It also offers a layer of plausible deniability because you can say that you were experimenting with a new look when you met them and they probably confused you for someone else. Furiously deny it was you that they witnessed making out with another girl. You have no other choice, not matter how obvious it was you. Be like the United States government where photo or video evidence is required to pursue torture charges.

4. Do not mix dating venues. 

You want to have two parallel sets of venues to minimize cross contamination. If you take your girlfriend to the same bar as your creep girls, a bartender or regular may accidentally out you, or tip her off while you’re in the bathroom. We all know those don’t-date-him girls whose life mission it is to warn other women of cheating men. 

 

5. Don’t frequent her regular spots.  

This doesn’t need to be said but there is an exception: when one of her spots is a place you can get laid like a champ. Ajoihe!!!

In Enugu there is a club where, as of this writing, I have a 44% bang rate. This means every four times I went, I can bang or meet a Bangable girl. There’s no way I’m going to stop going to a place like that, but the success I had at this club could easily lead to my doom if I’ve truly decided to change.

6. Pick a friend who will be your go-to excuse for why you can’t hang out with her. 

 It’s best she has met the friend but I’ve invented guys as well. Be consistent and have him be the excuse whenever you didn’t want to hang with her. Examples:

“Friday I’m hanging out with Steve but how about Saturday?”

“Steve wants us to do fish night on Tuesday and to talk about some girl problems so let’s do movie night on Wednesday.”

“Sorry I didn’t answer I actually hung out with Steve in this lame club and didn’t hear the phone ring.”

Never allow her to join you with Steve (go out with u two), explaining that he doesn’t like being the third wheel. Add that you need guy time to do some male bonding, to talk trash and just be men.

What’s going to happen is she will develop a deep hatred for Steve because she thinks he’s keeping you away from her. That’s not a bad thing because Steve will be the channel for her hate. Feel free to milk this by making it seem like Steve has an influence over you since he’s “cool” and “fun.” Many of my friends in Nigeria (Enugu). would use me as their Steve and I can tell you that a dozen girls still hate my guts because of it.

7. Be mindful of when you blow your load. 

If your girl expects a gallon of cum on her face when you bang, and then this one time have a trickle or droplets because you just got done banging another girl, warning signs are going to go off in her head. Therefore regulate your horniness and sperm quantity. If you know it takes two days to recharge after a lengthy sex episode, then allow that much time before banging a mistress and then your girl. This is why when it comes to the weekend I always try to put my girl on Friday. If I bang another girl on Friday then I will show up in her bedroom on Saturday already sated and she will pick up on it.

8. Try to bang your mistresses at other places. 

You don’t want her to leave something behind like a bobby pin, scarf, hair strands, bangle, unique perfume scent, or blood. (Etc.). Also realize that a girl can tell the difference between a strand of her hair that is hers and one that is only 5% different. If you have to bang a mistress in your place then commit yourself to a CSI-like  clean sweep afterwards. Do not get lazy at this step. View your room from many different angles, get on your knees, and go sniffing around everywhere. Flush used condoms down the toilet and put the wrappers deep in the kitchen trash can. 

9. Construct and rehearse your alibi. 

Anticipate what questions your girl is going to ask and have simple, quick answers to them. For example you went out on a Thursday night after telling your girl you’d stay in. You met a girl in the club who bit the hell out of your neck in the heat of passion. You brought her home and she turned out to be a flooder (squirter/wet queen) and the sheets were soaked.  

Let’s focus on each aspect of the situation. If she asks why you didn’t answer the phone or call her back, say you wanted to stay in but Steve called and begged you to go out because he’s trying to get this girl that has an ugly friend. So for most of the night you had to talk to a fatty, but you wished you were with her instead. The club was so loud that you didn’t see the call and by the time you noticed it was too late to call back.

Second, the scratch on the back of your neck happened when you were in the kitchen. You left a cabinet door open and when you reached down to pick something up off the floor, you come back up right under it and caught your neck. Of course you will wear a collared shirt to cover it up and prevent her discovery, but if you never wear collared shirts around her then she will be even more suspicious if she catches the scratch. If you have a sister and can borrow her makeup this may also be a good play, or just go to the nearest department store’s cosmetic counter and pick up some foundation. I’m not joking.

Third, the sheets. In America you can do a wash and dry load quickly, but in countries like mine and in areas without a dryer it has to hang for quite a while. If she insists on coming in during the late afternoon before it dries, say how mad you are at the maid for lazying around and always washing on the wrong days.

You’ve closed the gaps. Otherwise it would be a very damaging situation. While subconsciously she will know something is going on and be moody and testy, consciously she will accept your airtight alibi and things can proceed as normal.

10. Don’t let guilt change your routine. 

After a successful creep you’ll probably feel guilty for cheating on such a nice girl. You’ll then feel compelled to make a surprise phone call, be more affectionate or loving, or even buy her something small like a chocolate truffle or rose. Resist this urge and proceed with your normal routine because girls can sense when you’re doing something out of the ordinary. She’ll know that you are trying to relieve your guilt, and while she may not automatically assume it’s from cheating, she’ll know you did something wrong.

When you get good at cheating, you also get good at identifying cheating along with the precursors of cheating, like when she meets another guy that she’s attracted to. In due time you’ll be able to piece together storylines. For example let’s take a look at this following hypothetical situation:

Friday: Your Igbo girl texts you from a party, says there are “a lot of Manchies.” Stays there late.

Saturday: You send her a text at 6pm but she waits three hours before replying that she was “sleeping.”

Following Friday: She says she’ll be busy Saturday, but doesn’t say with whom. Even though it’s easier to say “I’m going out with Stevie,” some girls have trouble lying.

Saturday night: She says she is free.

Likely Story: She met a Manchie on the first Friday and he asked her on a date or drink early Saturday evening. There he told her to keep the following Saturday free but eventually flaked on (disappointed) her. This means she’s actively looking for better. Either you step up and offer more of her core needs (without being needy about it of course), or you can say fuck it, get a couple more bangs, and move onto another girl.

Besides concrete evidence like a text message, email, or hair clip, your girl will never have 100% solid proof against you. By being an accomplished liar, avoiding sloppy moves, and covering holes that develop, it becomes very close to impossible for her to catch you. All this so you can have your cake and eat it too. I think it’s a good way for a man to live, but if your ass gets caught don’t blame me.

uh uh... closing my eyes

And I’ll talk to you again soon

Your friend…

 …..Leonhart

DAY5- PRIVACY OR SECRECY

 IS IT RIGHT TO CHECK YOUR PARTNERS
PHONE/MESSAGES.

Every week, I get asked some variation of the following question:
“I know I shouldn’t have, but I looked through my girlfriend’s cell phone. She’s talking to her ex. How do I confront her about it without looking like the bad guy?”…. AND… “He was always stepping away to answer calls and he changes his password all the time… he must be cheating…etc as the list goes on.


There are several reasons partners check each others messages.
1. Suspicion
2. Previous record of infidelity.
3. Insecurity e.g. feeling of inferiority
4. Previous experience with cheating partners.
5. Tired of Relationship and seeking escape.
6. Frequent correspondence with fictional contact by partner.
7. Frequent or unnecessary encryption (locking) of partner’s phone or device.
8. Over indulging in chats or calls and hiding content from partners gaze.
9. Stumbling over chats/messages in an attempt to use partners’ device.
10a, No reason at all, just plain curiosity. (Or could it be the relationship was so rosy and too good to be true… “ahh he’s gotta have some dirt on him”).
10b, He’s always finding faults with me and catching me in wrong positions….I gotta dig for something to hold him with.
And so on….



According to NICKIS LOVE CORNER (ADENIKE) 
You really don’t know a person until you have looked through their cellphone. Nowadays, a cell phone is more than just a device to make emergency phone calls with. A cellphone is a personal and PRIVATE device that stores a plethora of information. You will discover a world of new things about a person when you look through their cellphone if you have never done it before…

I had a friend who was in a happy relationship UNTIL she looked through her boo’s phone. She saw text conversations she never imagined existed and it caused her to end the relationship with her otherwise near perfect man.
In spite of knowing what you can find in a cellphone, many of us still refrain from looking through our partner’s cell phone. Why?

Two reasons:
1. You don’t want to know.
2. You trust your partner.

You don’t want to know
Seek and you shall find. If you are looking for something bad, that is what you will find. People choose not to look through their partner’s cellphone because they have no interest in finding something that may mess up the relationship. It’s not necessarily trust, it is more like avoidance. In the story I mentioned above, my friend learned her lesson early on and has made a lifelong decision never to look through a guy’s phone ever again. There is no way to build a cheat-proof relationship, so focus on the good things about the relationship instead of looking for the bad. Be happy with what you have and don’t worry about finding something wrong. What you don’t know won’t hurt you.
If your partner gives you a reason to doubt with unusual behavior’s, then its best that you confront him/her about it. If you are trying to find a reason to end the relationship that should be good reason enough to end a relationship, you don’t have to wait to find something unbearable.
You trust your partner
Trust is something that is earned by consistent behavior. A woman reflects the love a man gives her. Trust is reflected by a woman who is treated well by a virtuous man. A virtuous man is honest and has integrity. Ideally, a man shouldn’t give his woman the desire to have to look for evidence in his phone. A woman who trusts her man is a confident woman and a woman who feels secure in her position and value in the relationship. This is healthy.
If you DO decide to look through his phone:
Be prepared. Make sure you are ready for what you are going to find and for the reactions that will come with it:
Stress; stress causes sleepless nights, headaches and illnesses; Arguments; Fights, Disturbing thoughts that will haunt you forever….And for what- if you are going to make up with your partner anyway? UNLESS you are ready to make that tough decision to BREAKUP: end it all, let that person go, suffer a loss and start zero with someone new.
My advice…
Think thoroughly before you take action. Do not act out of impulse. Ask yourself a few questions that will assess your real motives for looking through someone’s phone: what are you really looking for and why? What will be the repercussions of your actions? If something bad is indeed happening, it will soon come to light all on its own. There is no need to worry or play detective, “For there is nothing hid that shall not be manifested.” Mathew 4:22
…. OKAY THAT’S ALL SHE SAID


NOW LET ME LOOK AT THIS IN DIFFERENT WAYS

NUMBER 1
Does trust exist if one of you are secretly checking up on the other via their phone, email, social networking sites or by doing a good old-fashioned rummage through the pockets?
The answer is: it depends on what’s happened to trigger it.
If you’re snooping (let’s not dress it up people, that’s exactly what spying on your partner’s personal life is) on a consistent and regular basis, your relationship is going well, your partner seems happy and their behavior hasn’t changed to alert suspicion, you have trust issues or don’t trust the person you’re with.
If you sense something has changed – they are acting out of character, ‘working late’ a little too often, taking more care with their appearance, suddenly taking their phone to the loo and guarding it fiercely, putting passwords on their laptop when previously they had none or any of the other telltale trouble signs of an affair AND you’ve confronted them about your suspicions and not got a direct answer – then I find some discreet snooping understandable.
In that scenario, you are checking up on a partner due to a real fear that something is happening to threaten your relationship. I think most of us will hold our hands up to admit to doing it under those circumstances at some point in our lives, even if we do trust our partners the other 95% of the time.
The problem is, even innocent things take on ominous overtones when you can’t ask for an explanation. What seems like outrageously flirty texts from a workmate, might just be ‘Jane’s’ way: she sends texts like that to everyone in the office, dramatically diluting the danger factor. But you don’t know that because you can’t ask.
Emails from an ex pouring their heart out also mean nothing. That’s their perspective on the relationship, not your partner’s. Most of us have exes we have soft spots for. Your partner’s kind reply that says ‘I admit I do think of you often’, could be nothing but them trying to console/comfort someone who was once dear to them, gently. But unless you admit you snooped, you end up plagued with fears that could be groundless.
The only way to truly curb suspicion is to sit your partner down and be honest about how you’re feeling. Tell them specifically why you are unsure of their feelings for you. If you can’t pin down the feeling, tell them it’s just a gut instinct. If they’re innocent and love you, they will leap to reassure you everything is fine. (If they sigh or roll their eyes, it could be they’ve done it once too often and it’s time to take yourself off to see a therapist to work through the root of your insecurity.) If, instead, they look uncomfortable, get defensive and don’t instantly envelope you in a huge hug, watch their face and body language carefully. Do their eyes slide away from yours? Do they move their hands out of the way or take a step backward? Very few people are able to lie to a loved one while touching them. Are they touching their face a lot or leaking anxiety by jiggling a foot or a leg? All these things are far better indicators of their feelings for you and more accurate relationship alarm bells.


NUMBER 2

It is not healthy to check your partner’s correspondence – unless, the two of you have agreed that it is ok and the same rule applies to you both.
All couples have different boundaries around privacy and hence if a couple agrees that open sharing of correspondence is what they want to do then clearly that’s fine. But for those who do not have that agreement in place, being checked up on could at best feel like an irritating invasion of personal space, and at worst, be perceived as controlling, disrespectful and abusive.
It’s important to recognize that there’s a difference between privacy and secrecy.  There are many reasons why we may prefer to keep some aspects of our lives private from our partner, for example for reasons of modesty, independence or respecting the confidentiality of others.  But if we insist on some things being kept secret, then the motivation is more often about protecting oneself from guilt. Guilt that is most often caused by knowing that a partner would be hurt if the secret were found out.
Trust is the bedrock of any relationship and trust is built on transparency, honesty and open communication. This means that couples should talk about their needs for privacy and also agree what kinds of communications with others are ok, and not ok, within their relationship.  When boundaries are negotiated and agreed, there should be no reason to ‘check up’ on each other.  One exception to this might be when there has already been a significant breach of trust such as an infidelity, but even in these cases, spot checks should be done within an open and mutual spirit of accountability and reassurance, rather than suspicion and control.

In a technology-filled world, the temptation to read your man's Facebook messages or snoop through his texts and call records is overwhelming. But are you in the right to do so?

When Jane logged onto her husband's email, she was hoping for the best right?  Instead, she was met with a rude awakening: clear cut evidence of her husband's affair scattered throughout his emails. Love notes, song lyrics, photos of the two of them together, but that wasn't all. The worst was a pro/con list, written by her husband, on whether or not he should leave her. "It was the worst thing I have ever seen with my eyes," Jane said.
She's not alone: according to a 2011 study, 41-percent of women have snooped through their man's phone or emails. Modern technology offers a whole new variety of ways to spy on your partner. Looking through drawers and checking for lipstick on the collar is a thing of the past. According to a January 2013 poll by the Daily Mail, going through your partner's cell phone is now the top reason why cheating and affairs are exposed.

Why do we snoop? When Olivia’s boyfriend left his cell phone at her house, the temptation was too much to resist. "Of course what girl would not wanna look at everything that was in there?" she told me. Of course, giving into temptation can have some drastic consequences. When Prince was reading through his phone one night while they were in bed, she saw that he had been texting quite a few other girls, which led her to end the relationship. All this sneaking around raises a big question: Is it wrong to read your man's texts or emails if you end up learning he's been hiding things from you, or does snooping bring you down to his level?
Snooping may be a breach of trust, but it can also expose some untrustworthy behavior. The most common of this is evidence of cheating. Steamy emails, declarations of love, notifications from dating sites, and worse. Hannah found naked photos of other women when reading through her boyfriend's text messages.


Sometimes, you just have a sixth sense, a feeling that something is up. When your senses are tingling and a phone is ready for snatching, controlling the urge to snoop isn't easy. Such was the case for Tochi, who became wary of her boyfriend's relationship with his ex. After he refused to say her name and bitterly reminisce about their time together, she knew he wasn't quite over her yet. When he started mentioning her more-and-more, warning signs went off. Tochi’s snooping started innocently enough: looking through his Facebook to see if he had added her again. As her lurking continued, she discovered that they had been talking again and were planning on meeting up for coffee. She broke up with him soon after.
While her snooping was instrumental in the demise of her relationship, Tochi feels that snooping is sometimes necessary to find out the information you deserve. "I would snoop again only if I felt something was off," she said. "Otherwise, I understand boundaries. I'm not that interested in what my boyfriend talks about with his friends."
It's not always infidelity that women catch when they snoop around. Sometimes, you learn that they've been doing the same thing to you. When Cindy’s boyfriend gave her his password, she started reading his emails. The snooping didn't end there: When he borrowed her laptop and forgot to logout, she was able to search through his Facebook, as well. She discovered that he had subscribed to her check-ins in order to receive notifications about her whereabouts. Tochi stressed the fact that if you're going to snoop, you need to prepare yourself for what you may find. "I guess when you're looking for something, you'll find it," Tochi said.


When women find incriminating information through snooping, as you might expect, they oftentimes won't stand for it, and they act out. Such was the case for Vanessa. She had a bad feeling about the man she had been seeing. One night after he had fallen asleep, she grabbed his phone and quickly scrolled through his text messages. Turns out her intuition had been right-there were texts from three different women in his inbox.
Instead of confronting him, she quickly wrote back to the other women in his phone, telling them that he was ending it with them, and he was getting serious with another girl. She then proceeded to delete all of his contacts-her own number included. Maybe it's true what they say-hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
But perhaps the best way to satisfy your curiosity is simply to ask. Men with nothing to hide may be more willing to share the contents of their phone or email with you. "The easiest way to find out if your boyfriend is hiding something is to simply ask him if you can look through his phone and if he says no, well then there's your answer," Susan said.

I’ve lived through this scenario, I’ll start out by saying that we’re missing the point.
You looked in the cell phone for a reason, right? Perhaps your girlfriend suddenly added a password to her phone. Perhaps she’s been spending time with friends more often, or is being secretive and vague when you ask her questions. You know something’s off, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. So what do you do?
You look for proof.
Your girlfriend goes to the bathroom, your eyes laser beam over to her cell phone, and before you know it, you’re scrolling through her text messages, looking for the reason you feel a knife twisting in your gut every time she says she’s going out with friends.
Well this same theme plays out in many different ways in relationships. Maybe you don’t check her phone, but you look through her emails instead. Maybe you feel sick to your stomach every time she goes out and you don’t know where she is. Maybe you’ve even gone as far as following her to places and spying on her.
The bottom line is that you don’t trust her. But more importantly, you don’t trust YOU! Something’s up and you can feel it in your gut.
It’s not about whether or not you found someone in your partner’s phone. It’s about trust. You must be able to trust your partner, and you must be able to trust yourself.
So for all of you considering checking your partner’s phone that haven’t yet pulled the trigger: THINK!!!
Stop trying to control the situation and start taking responsibility for what you can control.. YOU!! 

 Why do you need proof that cheating is occurring to acknowledge that you don’t feel safe in the relationship?
Speak up, confront the issue head on, and have a conversation about it.
For all of you that have already checked the cell phone, and that stumbled upon some suspicious text messages or phone calls, I gently say to you wake up.
I’m not saying to approach your partner with boxing gloves on, ready to fight. But I am saying that if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck: It’s probably a duck.
If you’ve checked the phone and there’s nothing there, this is still your issue. What really prompted your concern? Was it an old wound? Self-worth issues? Fear?
Be honest. Go and have a real conversation about that twisting feeling in your gut. Figure out what’s really going on, and if that twisting feeling won’t go away do not ignore it.
Trust yourself to make the right decision. Trust your gut.

Have you ever checked your partner’s cell phone? What did you find? Share your story below.

And i'll talk to you again soon...

Your Friend , 
........Leonhart

BBM PIN: 7514F89C
TWITTER: @chrisxleonhart
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e-Mail: chrisking4u@yahoo.com , lordcommanderleonhart@gmail.com

PROFILE PICTURE DO's and DONT's

      Am back Friends, sorry for leaving. On return i had to deal with tons of mails and requests.. And on this note...

If I see one more Facebook friend request by some shirtless dude posing in a bathroom mirror holding a camera phone I think I will organize an etiquette posse.  And ladies, please for the love of Snookie, stop with the full booty 

poses, puckered lips and stilettos.  Sure, Facebook is fun and should be a reflection of your personality, so if you are in no need of a job, shower, shelter or friends, then I guess that picture of you picking your nose won’t be such a big deal.  For the rest of us, looking good in those tiny little squares could be the difference between getting a job or landing a date.

If we’re to believe the marketing geniuses at Match.com, one in five couples now meets online. I’ve been looking, and dang, have we seen some messed up profile pictures. Listen, it’s sad but true, but your online dating profile pic can make the difference between somebody asking you out or moving right along. Women are superficial, they know these things and are guilty of passing on perfectly nice guys because they looked stanky in their pics. As such, we’ve come up with a simple list of dos and don’ts for both men and women to follow when selecting their all-important profile images. These suggestions have been culled with the help of our friends who have looked at countless online profiles, too, so they know what they’re talking about.

FOR GUYS

DON’T include photos of yourself with more attractive friends. Actually, try not to include pictures of yourself with friends, period. It just confuses women. You don’t want them inquiring after your friend Chris do you?

DON’T include photos of yourself with girls. Yeah, yeah, women get it: you want to prove to them that you’ve, in fact, touched a real live girl before. But that’s the thing — it’s so obvious that’s what you’re doing, that women see you as really desperate. 

DO include pictures of yourself with your pets — if they happen to be cuddly puppies or kittens. But probably leave the animal pics out if you happen to be a herpetologist or rat hoarder or something.

DON’T use a professional headshot. The only people who really want to date struggling actors are … nobody.

DON’T lead with your Halloween or team/school Mascot costume. They don’t know you. They don’t know if you as a giant banana is your Halloween look or just your average Tuesday.

DO include pics of yourself doing cool stuff. But not, like, 10 pictures of you playing in a band. Also, most girls over the age of 23 aren’t trying to get with a dude in a band. 

DO remember that girls pay a lot of attention to stuff like shoes — things that you probably don’t really think about. Wear good shoes in your picture.

DO include at least one mostly full body pic, otherwise they’re going to assume you’re hiding a tumor, or a tail or a bizarrely chubby leg….lol

FOR GIRLS

DON’T include a “quirky” photo of yourself with a fake mustache, or a mustache tattoo, or a mustache hat, or just no mustaches. Apparently this is a thing that lots of girls do — it must be the International Symbol for Manic Pixie Dream Girl or something. Just … don’t.

DON’T include photos you’ve taken of yourself in the bathroom mirror. It just seems sort of sad and pathetic. Don’t you do anything fun? Don’t you have exciting little candid moments in life? Come on! If not, grab a friend or roommate and fake it.

DON’T post a zillion pictures of yourself in a bikini — unless you’re looking to attract the type of juicehead dudes who are looking for girls who spend the majority of their days in bikinis. You reap what you sow — especially when it comes to online profile photos.

DO show a pic of what you look on the day-to-day. He’s going to find out anyway, and most guys would rather deal with reality than with some totally fake version of you.

DON’T post a prom pic, or some weird formal event picture. Are you a princess? No, you’re not, and he’s not going to expect to see you dolled up like one every day. Unless you are a princess, in which case, ignore this point and commence with the tiara.

DO include photos of yourself having fun, but like, not too much fun. Not falling on the floor, ass out fun. Keep it together, girl.

…………And just to add to this………

Take in (or take out) the light.

Lighting can be your best friend or your worst enemy.  Broad, flat lighting is what’s common for model photos, but for the rest of us mere mortals, it’s not for everybody, especially if you have an extra 20 to lose.

 Learn to channel the power of light and you’re more than halfway to picture-perfect.  if you have a wide face, introduce some shadows–it has a slimming effect.  If you have a narrow face broad light works well most of the time. (Ma’am take note).

Secondly, shots from under the chin are just bad, bad, and bad.  You lose the shape of your jawbone, see flaring nostrils and possible boogers.  Here’s an insider secret: point the tip of your nose to the center of the camera and it will always give you the best nose and jaw shots ( Snatasha take note).

Thirdly, Take a cue from models on this one–sit up straight and drop your shoulders.  “It elongates the neck and gives a regal look.

And i'll talk to you again soon...

Your Friend

LEONHART