HOW TO CHEAT AND NOT GET CAUGHT (MEN ONLY: READERS DISCRETION ADVISED).

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Obviously I don’t think cheating on a girlfriend is morally right, and I think it’s wrong to bang your girl without a condom and then creep without it too because you’re exposing her to diseases that could create an uncomfortable situation. However am gonna justify this post by saying this. Sometimes it’s best to know what to do in order not to lose something special when you can’t avoid the habit of creeping. When I want to cheat, I keep it locked down so tightly that it would take a lottery chance event to get me. The result is I get to fulfill my perverse needs while having something stable with a girl that I care for. That’s a win-win… unless she finds out. Here’s what to do to make sure that doesn’t happen:

1. Get started on the right foot.  

Do not get into that pattern where you must talk on the phone every day. To accomplish this you’ll have to state that you need your “space” early in the relationship that you don’t want it to get into that friendly boring zone where you’re talking about what time you woke up and what you had for lunch. She’ll honor your request but slip and send frequent text messages, which is fine—it’s easy to creep with another girl when all you got to do is send texts.

Also, if you want to actually have the ability to cheat, you need time not only to meet other girls but to take them out on dates. This means you want to get into no more than a twice-a-week date pattern with your girl, one date on the weekday and one on the weekend. Resist her efforts to see you more by saying again you need space and are the loner type that feels smothered easily.

2. Don’t give her access to your phone or computer.

  Remember This is how 90% of guys get caught cheating. They left their phone laying around, unlocked, and the girl finds incriminating text messages. It’s easy to brush off female numbers in your phone as old, but not a text message stamped yesterday where you confirmed fresh plans. Either delete the text messages manually before you see her or lock your keypad. Fail to do either and you will get busted eventually, guaranteed. Girls are savvy with cell phones and only need sixty seconds to sift through your messages or call history.

I’ve caught two girls messing around with my phone. Once I went to go wash my cock after sex and came back with my phone on the floor instead of the nightstand. The other time I spent the night at this half caste girl’s house and woke up in the morning with all my clothes gone. I walked around her place dazed and naked, wondering if I just got got, and found her sitting on the bathroom toilet going through all my shit.

For your computer, log off your email/facebook account when you know she’s coming over and then launch a different browser that you never use. While it would take time for her to sift through emails if you slip to the bathroom, girls go straight to the Sent folder to gather evidence. I’m certain that the female species plays dumb with gadgets and computers on purpose so that we leave our things laying around. Also lock down anything else that could get you in trouble like Skype (call history) and the secret dating apps you operate.

3. Don’t create a lasting impression with her friends. 

While some guys will argue that a way to win a girl is through her friends, I only find that to be the case with very young girls around college age—once she’s in her mid-20′s she doesn’t seek as much approval from her friends as before. If you’re meeting her friends for the first time then show up in an outfit you never wear and also a slightly different hair or beard configuration. You don’t need to wear a disguise but appear a little differently.

The reason is that her friends are spies and when you’re creeping they may spot you and then immediately rat you out. By looking different and not making an impression, the goal here is they don’t recognize you when you’re creeping. It also offers a layer of plausible deniability because you can say that you were experimenting with a new look when you met them and they probably confused you for someone else. Furiously deny it was you that they witnessed making out with another girl. You have no other choice, not matter how obvious it was you. Be like the United States government where photo or video evidence is required to pursue torture charges.

4. Do not mix dating venues. 

You want to have two parallel sets of venues to minimize cross contamination. If you take your girlfriend to the same bar as your creep girls, a bartender or regular may accidentally out you, or tip her off while you’re in the bathroom. We all know those don’t-date-him girls whose life mission it is to warn other women of cheating men. 

 

5. Don’t frequent her regular spots.  

This doesn’t need to be said but there is an exception: when one of her spots is a place you can get laid like a champ. Ajoihe!!!

In Enugu there is a club where, as of this writing, I have a 44% bang rate. This means every four times I went, I can bang or meet a Bangable girl. There’s no way I’m going to stop going to a place like that, but the success I had at this club could easily lead to my doom if I’ve truly decided to change.

6. Pick a friend who will be your go-to excuse for why you can’t hang out with her. 

 It’s best she has met the friend but I’ve invented guys as well. Be consistent and have him be the excuse whenever you didn’t want to hang with her. Examples:

“Friday I’m hanging out with Steve but how about Saturday?”

“Steve wants us to do fish night on Tuesday and to talk about some girl problems so let’s do movie night on Wednesday.”

“Sorry I didn’t answer I actually hung out with Steve in this lame club and didn’t hear the phone ring.”

Never allow her to join you with Steve (go out with u two), explaining that he doesn’t like being the third wheel. Add that you need guy time to do some male bonding, to talk trash and just be men.

What’s going to happen is she will develop a deep hatred for Steve because she thinks he’s keeping you away from her. That’s not a bad thing because Steve will be the channel for her hate. Feel free to milk this by making it seem like Steve has an influence over you since he’s “cool” and “fun.” Many of my friends in Nigeria (Enugu). would use me as their Steve and I can tell you that a dozen girls still hate my guts because of it.

7. Be mindful of when you blow your load. 

If your girl expects a gallon of cum on her face when you bang, and then this one time have a trickle or droplets because you just got done banging another girl, warning signs are going to go off in her head. Therefore regulate your horniness and sperm quantity. If you know it takes two days to recharge after a lengthy sex episode, then allow that much time before banging a mistress and then your girl. This is why when it comes to the weekend I always try to put my girl on Friday. If I bang another girl on Friday then I will show up in her bedroom on Saturday already sated and she will pick up on it.

8. Try to bang your mistresses at other places. 

You don’t want her to leave something behind like a bobby pin, scarf, hair strands, bangle, unique perfume scent, or blood. (Etc.). Also realize that a girl can tell the difference between a strand of her hair that is hers and one that is only 5% different. If you have to bang a mistress in your place then commit yourself to a CSI-like  clean sweep afterwards. Do not get lazy at this step. View your room from many different angles, get on your knees, and go sniffing around everywhere. Flush used condoms down the toilet and put the wrappers deep in the kitchen trash can. 

9. Construct and rehearse your alibi. 

Anticipate what questions your girl is going to ask and have simple, quick answers to them. For example you went out on a Thursday night after telling your girl you’d stay in. You met a girl in the club who bit the hell out of your neck in the heat of passion. You brought her home and she turned out to be a flooder (squirter/wet queen) and the sheets were soaked.  

Let’s focus on each aspect of the situation. If she asks why you didn’t answer the phone or call her back, say you wanted to stay in but Steve called and begged you to go out because he’s trying to get this girl that has an ugly friend. So for most of the night you had to talk to a fatty, but you wished you were with her instead. The club was so loud that you didn’t see the call and by the time you noticed it was too late to call back.

Second, the scratch on the back of your neck happened when you were in the kitchen. You left a cabinet door open and when you reached down to pick something up off the floor, you come back up right under it and caught your neck. Of course you will wear a collared shirt to cover it up and prevent her discovery, but if you never wear collared shirts around her then she will be even more suspicious if she catches the scratch. If you have a sister and can borrow her makeup this may also be a good play, or just go to the nearest department store’s cosmetic counter and pick up some foundation. I’m not joking.

Third, the sheets. In America you can do a wash and dry load quickly, but in countries like mine and in areas without a dryer it has to hang for quite a while. If she insists on coming in during the late afternoon before it dries, say how mad you are at the maid for lazying around and always washing on the wrong days.

You’ve closed the gaps. Otherwise it would be a very damaging situation. While subconsciously she will know something is going on and be moody and testy, consciously she will accept your airtight alibi and things can proceed as normal.

10. Don’t let guilt change your routine. 

After a successful creep you’ll probably feel guilty for cheating on such a nice girl. You’ll then feel compelled to make a surprise phone call, be more affectionate or loving, or even buy her something small like a chocolate truffle or rose. Resist this urge and proceed with your normal routine because girls can sense when you’re doing something out of the ordinary. She’ll know that you are trying to relieve your guilt, and while she may not automatically assume it’s from cheating, she’ll know you did something wrong.

When you get good at cheating, you also get good at identifying cheating along with the precursors of cheating, like when she meets another guy that she’s attracted to. In due time you’ll be able to piece together storylines. For example let’s take a look at this following hypothetical situation:

Friday: Your Igbo girl texts you from a party, says there are “a lot of Manchies.” Stays there late.

Saturday: You send her a text at 6pm but she waits three hours before replying that she was “sleeping.”

Following Friday: She says she’ll be busy Saturday, but doesn’t say with whom. Even though it’s easier to say “I’m going out with Stevie,” some girls have trouble lying.

Saturday night: She says she is free.

Likely Story: She met a Manchie on the first Friday and he asked her on a date or drink early Saturday evening. There he told her to keep the following Saturday free but eventually flaked on (disappointed) her. This means she’s actively looking for better. Either you step up and offer more of her core needs (without being needy about it of course), or you can say fuck it, get a couple more bangs, and move onto another girl.

Besides concrete evidence like a text message, email, or hair clip, your girl will never have 100% solid proof against you. By being an accomplished liar, avoiding sloppy moves, and covering holes that develop, it becomes very close to impossible for her to catch you. All this so you can have your cake and eat it too. I think it’s a good way for a man to live, but if your ass gets caught don’t blame me.

uh uh... closing my eyes

And I’ll talk to you again soon

Your friend…

 …..Leonhart

DAY5- PRIVACY OR SECRECY

 IS IT RIGHT TO CHECK YOUR PARTNERS
PHONE/MESSAGES.

Every week, I get asked some variation of the following question:
“I know I shouldn’t have, but I looked through my girlfriend’s cell phone. She’s talking to her ex. How do I confront her about it without looking like the bad guy?”…. AND… “He was always stepping away to answer calls and he changes his password all the time… he must be cheating…etc as the list goes on.


There are several reasons partners check each others messages.
1. Suspicion
2. Previous record of infidelity.
3. Insecurity e.g. feeling of inferiority
4. Previous experience with cheating partners.
5. Tired of Relationship and seeking escape.
6. Frequent correspondence with fictional contact by partner.
7. Frequent or unnecessary encryption (locking) of partner’s phone or device.
8. Over indulging in chats or calls and hiding content from partners gaze.
9. Stumbling over chats/messages in an attempt to use partners’ device.
10a, No reason at all, just plain curiosity. (Or could it be the relationship was so rosy and too good to be true… “ahh he’s gotta have some dirt on him”).
10b, He’s always finding faults with me and catching me in wrong positions….I gotta dig for something to hold him with.
And so on….



According to NICKIS LOVE CORNER (ADENIKE) 
You really don’t know a person until you have looked through their cellphone. Nowadays, a cell phone is more than just a device to make emergency phone calls with. A cellphone is a personal and PRIVATE device that stores a plethora of information. You will discover a world of new things about a person when you look through their cellphone if you have never done it before…

I had a friend who was in a happy relationship UNTIL she looked through her boo’s phone. She saw text conversations she never imagined existed and it caused her to end the relationship with her otherwise near perfect man.
In spite of knowing what you can find in a cellphone, many of us still refrain from looking through our partner’s cell phone. Why?

Two reasons:
1. You don’t want to know.
2. You trust your partner.

You don’t want to know
Seek and you shall find. If you are looking for something bad, that is what you will find. People choose not to look through their partner’s cellphone because they have no interest in finding something that may mess up the relationship. It’s not necessarily trust, it is more like avoidance. In the story I mentioned above, my friend learned her lesson early on and has made a lifelong decision never to look through a guy’s phone ever again. There is no way to build a cheat-proof relationship, so focus on the good things about the relationship instead of looking for the bad. Be happy with what you have and don’t worry about finding something wrong. What you don’t know won’t hurt you.
If your partner gives you a reason to doubt with unusual behavior’s, then its best that you confront him/her about it. If you are trying to find a reason to end the relationship that should be good reason enough to end a relationship, you don’t have to wait to find something unbearable.
You trust your partner
Trust is something that is earned by consistent behavior. A woman reflects the love a man gives her. Trust is reflected by a woman who is treated well by a virtuous man. A virtuous man is honest and has integrity. Ideally, a man shouldn’t give his woman the desire to have to look for evidence in his phone. A woman who trusts her man is a confident woman and a woman who feels secure in her position and value in the relationship. This is healthy.
If you DO decide to look through his phone:
Be prepared. Make sure you are ready for what you are going to find and for the reactions that will come with it:
Stress; stress causes sleepless nights, headaches and illnesses; Arguments; Fights, Disturbing thoughts that will haunt you forever….And for what- if you are going to make up with your partner anyway? UNLESS you are ready to make that tough decision to BREAKUP: end it all, let that person go, suffer a loss and start zero with someone new.
My advice…
Think thoroughly before you take action. Do not act out of impulse. Ask yourself a few questions that will assess your real motives for looking through someone’s phone: what are you really looking for and why? What will be the repercussions of your actions? If something bad is indeed happening, it will soon come to light all on its own. There is no need to worry or play detective, “For there is nothing hid that shall not be manifested.” Mathew 4:22
…. OKAY THAT’S ALL SHE SAID


NOW LET ME LOOK AT THIS IN DIFFERENT WAYS

NUMBER 1
Does trust exist if one of you are secretly checking up on the other via their phone, email, social networking sites or by doing a good old-fashioned rummage through the pockets?
The answer is: it depends on what’s happened to trigger it.
If you’re snooping (let’s not dress it up people, that’s exactly what spying on your partner’s personal life is) on a consistent and regular basis, your relationship is going well, your partner seems happy and their behavior hasn’t changed to alert suspicion, you have trust issues or don’t trust the person you’re with.
If you sense something has changed – they are acting out of character, ‘working late’ a little too often, taking more care with their appearance, suddenly taking their phone to the loo and guarding it fiercely, putting passwords on their laptop when previously they had none or any of the other telltale trouble signs of an affair AND you’ve confronted them about your suspicions and not got a direct answer – then I find some discreet snooping understandable.
In that scenario, you are checking up on a partner due to a real fear that something is happening to threaten your relationship. I think most of us will hold our hands up to admit to doing it under those circumstances at some point in our lives, even if we do trust our partners the other 95% of the time.
The problem is, even innocent things take on ominous overtones when you can’t ask for an explanation. What seems like outrageously flirty texts from a workmate, might just be ‘Jane’s’ way: she sends texts like that to everyone in the office, dramatically diluting the danger factor. But you don’t know that because you can’t ask.
Emails from an ex pouring their heart out also mean nothing. That’s their perspective on the relationship, not your partner’s. Most of us have exes we have soft spots for. Your partner’s kind reply that says ‘I admit I do think of you often’, could be nothing but them trying to console/comfort someone who was once dear to them, gently. But unless you admit you snooped, you end up plagued with fears that could be groundless.
The only way to truly curb suspicion is to sit your partner down and be honest about how you’re feeling. Tell them specifically why you are unsure of their feelings for you. If you can’t pin down the feeling, tell them it’s just a gut instinct. If they’re innocent and love you, they will leap to reassure you everything is fine. (If they sigh or roll their eyes, it could be they’ve done it once too often and it’s time to take yourself off to see a therapist to work through the root of your insecurity.) If, instead, they look uncomfortable, get defensive and don’t instantly envelope you in a huge hug, watch their face and body language carefully. Do their eyes slide away from yours? Do they move their hands out of the way or take a step backward? Very few people are able to lie to a loved one while touching them. Are they touching their face a lot or leaking anxiety by jiggling a foot or a leg? All these things are far better indicators of their feelings for you and more accurate relationship alarm bells.


NUMBER 2

It is not healthy to check your partner’s correspondence – unless, the two of you have agreed that it is ok and the same rule applies to you both.
All couples have different boundaries around privacy and hence if a couple agrees that open sharing of correspondence is what they want to do then clearly that’s fine. But for those who do not have that agreement in place, being checked up on could at best feel like an irritating invasion of personal space, and at worst, be perceived as controlling, disrespectful and abusive.
It’s important to recognize that there’s a difference between privacy and secrecy.  There are many reasons why we may prefer to keep some aspects of our lives private from our partner, for example for reasons of modesty, independence or respecting the confidentiality of others.  But if we insist on some things being kept secret, then the motivation is more often about protecting oneself from guilt. Guilt that is most often caused by knowing that a partner would be hurt if the secret were found out.
Trust is the bedrock of any relationship and trust is built on transparency, honesty and open communication. This means that couples should talk about their needs for privacy and also agree what kinds of communications with others are ok, and not ok, within their relationship.  When boundaries are negotiated and agreed, there should be no reason to ‘check up’ on each other.  One exception to this might be when there has already been a significant breach of trust such as an infidelity, but even in these cases, spot checks should be done within an open and mutual spirit of accountability and reassurance, rather than suspicion and control.

In a technology-filled world, the temptation to read your man's Facebook messages or snoop through his texts and call records is overwhelming. But are you in the right to do so?

When Jane logged onto her husband's email, she was hoping for the best right?  Instead, she was met with a rude awakening: clear cut evidence of her husband's affair scattered throughout his emails. Love notes, song lyrics, photos of the two of them together, but that wasn't all. The worst was a pro/con list, written by her husband, on whether or not he should leave her. "It was the worst thing I have ever seen with my eyes," Jane said.
She's not alone: according to a 2011 study, 41-percent of women have snooped through their man's phone or emails. Modern technology offers a whole new variety of ways to spy on your partner. Looking through drawers and checking for lipstick on the collar is a thing of the past. According to a January 2013 poll by the Daily Mail, going through your partner's cell phone is now the top reason why cheating and affairs are exposed.

Why do we snoop? When Olivia’s boyfriend left his cell phone at her house, the temptation was too much to resist. "Of course what girl would not wanna look at everything that was in there?" she told me. Of course, giving into temptation can have some drastic consequences. When Prince was reading through his phone one night while they were in bed, she saw that he had been texting quite a few other girls, which led her to end the relationship. All this sneaking around raises a big question: Is it wrong to read your man's texts or emails if you end up learning he's been hiding things from you, or does snooping bring you down to his level?
Snooping may be a breach of trust, but it can also expose some untrustworthy behavior. The most common of this is evidence of cheating. Steamy emails, declarations of love, notifications from dating sites, and worse. Hannah found naked photos of other women when reading through her boyfriend's text messages.


Sometimes, you just have a sixth sense, a feeling that something is up. When your senses are tingling and a phone is ready for snatching, controlling the urge to snoop isn't easy. Such was the case for Tochi, who became wary of her boyfriend's relationship with his ex. After he refused to say her name and bitterly reminisce about their time together, she knew he wasn't quite over her yet. When he started mentioning her more-and-more, warning signs went off. Tochi’s snooping started innocently enough: looking through his Facebook to see if he had added her again. As her lurking continued, she discovered that they had been talking again and were planning on meeting up for coffee. She broke up with him soon after.
While her snooping was instrumental in the demise of her relationship, Tochi feels that snooping is sometimes necessary to find out the information you deserve. "I would snoop again only if I felt something was off," she said. "Otherwise, I understand boundaries. I'm not that interested in what my boyfriend talks about with his friends."
It's not always infidelity that women catch when they snoop around. Sometimes, you learn that they've been doing the same thing to you. When Cindy’s boyfriend gave her his password, she started reading his emails. The snooping didn't end there: When he borrowed her laptop and forgot to logout, she was able to search through his Facebook, as well. She discovered that he had subscribed to her check-ins in order to receive notifications about her whereabouts. Tochi stressed the fact that if you're going to snoop, you need to prepare yourself for what you may find. "I guess when you're looking for something, you'll find it," Tochi said.


When women find incriminating information through snooping, as you might expect, they oftentimes won't stand for it, and they act out. Such was the case for Vanessa. She had a bad feeling about the man she had been seeing. One night after he had fallen asleep, she grabbed his phone and quickly scrolled through his text messages. Turns out her intuition had been right-there were texts from three different women in his inbox.
Instead of confronting him, she quickly wrote back to the other women in his phone, telling them that he was ending it with them, and he was getting serious with another girl. She then proceeded to delete all of his contacts-her own number included. Maybe it's true what they say-hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
But perhaps the best way to satisfy your curiosity is simply to ask. Men with nothing to hide may be more willing to share the contents of their phone or email with you. "The easiest way to find out if your boyfriend is hiding something is to simply ask him if you can look through his phone and if he says no, well then there's your answer," Susan said.

I’ve lived through this scenario, I’ll start out by saying that we’re missing the point.
You looked in the cell phone for a reason, right? Perhaps your girlfriend suddenly added a password to her phone. Perhaps she’s been spending time with friends more often, or is being secretive and vague when you ask her questions. You know something’s off, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. So what do you do?
You look for proof.
Your girlfriend goes to the bathroom, your eyes laser beam over to her cell phone, and before you know it, you’re scrolling through her text messages, looking for the reason you feel a knife twisting in your gut every time she says she’s going out with friends.
Well this same theme plays out in many different ways in relationships. Maybe you don’t check her phone, but you look through her emails instead. Maybe you feel sick to your stomach every time she goes out and you don’t know where she is. Maybe you’ve even gone as far as following her to places and spying on her.
The bottom line is that you don’t trust her. But more importantly, you don’t trust YOU! Something’s up and you can feel it in your gut.
It’s not about whether or not you found someone in your partner’s phone. It’s about trust. You must be able to trust your partner, and you must be able to trust yourself.
So for all of you considering checking your partner’s phone that haven’t yet pulled the trigger: THINK!!!
Stop trying to control the situation and start taking responsibility for what you can control.. YOU!! 

 Why do you need proof that cheating is occurring to acknowledge that you don’t feel safe in the relationship?
Speak up, confront the issue head on, and have a conversation about it.
For all of you that have already checked the cell phone, and that stumbled upon some suspicious text messages or phone calls, I gently say to you wake up.
I’m not saying to approach your partner with boxing gloves on, ready to fight. But I am saying that if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck: It’s probably a duck.
If you’ve checked the phone and there’s nothing there, this is still your issue. What really prompted your concern? Was it an old wound? Self-worth issues? Fear?
Be honest. Go and have a real conversation about that twisting feeling in your gut. Figure out what’s really going on, and if that twisting feeling won’t go away do not ignore it.
Trust yourself to make the right decision. Trust your gut.

Have you ever checked your partner’s cell phone? What did you find? Share your story below.

And i'll talk to you again soon...

Your Friend , 
........Leonhart

BBM PIN: 7514F89C
TWITTER: @chrisxleonhart
FACEBOOK: Chrisking Leonhart
FACEBOOK PAGE : Facebook.com/chrisking.leonhart.den
e-Mail: chrisking4u@yahoo.com , lordcommanderleonhart@gmail.com

WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO SAY "I LOVE YOU"?

When should I play the L card? What’s the right time to say I love you?

Is there ever a right time? What if I say it and she doesn’t? Should I say it first or wait for her to say it? What if it gets awkward between us after I say those three most POWERFUL words in the universe?

If you’re grappling with these questions presently, then congratulations, you’re past the casual fling stage and entering a stage in your relationship where you’re starting to get serious with your partner. The timing has to be spot on, the atmosphere, the setting, has to be memorable. It doesn’t need to be a seven star hotel when you lay your heart open, it could even be your living room (make sure it’s clean). So how do you figure when its the RIGHT time to tell her you love her?

Get your reasons right

Saying I love you to someone is a beautiful thing, so make sure it’s not said for the wrong reasons. It is not to be thrown around casually. Maybe you’re insecure in the relationship and you feel these words will reel your partner in and make them feel guilty enough into staying with you. Or, your girlfriend is too shy to jump into the sack with you and the L word, you think, is your trump card into sealing the deal. No. Make sure your intentions are good, your heart, pure, and what you feel for this person, a hundred percent true (if possible)

Test the waters

You’ve been on quite a few romantic dates. You’ve kissed each other passionately, and held hands, whispered sweet nothings in each others ears. You know you like her, a lot, and she likes you back. It’s in the way you try to touch each other, the way her pupils dilate when she looks at you, the way she smiles at you. You love spending time with her, and when you aren’t around her, you find yourself invariably reaching for the phone to talk to her or text her. But wait for a little longer before you lay the L card. Get to know her feelings well. Find out if she really feels about you the way you feel about her. Whether, she too, sees this relationship going somewhere. Don’t say it too soon because it might overwhelm her and she might bolt. But don’t hold it back for too long either, or else she might go looking for love elsewhere.

Don’t say it under influence

OK, so you’ve been thinking of saying it, you just haven’t had the courage yet. However, you’ve made up your mind to do it one of these days – whatever happens, happens. But DO NOT use alcohol as a crutch to help you speak what’s in your heart. Of course, alcohol will relax you and you might feel you can pretty much do anything. But if you want to be taken seriously by your girlfriend, if you want to say the words, I love you, exactly the way you planned to say them, and if you want to remember the special moment for all the right reasons (not throwing up and making a scene), stay away from alcohol. Nothing like slurring the most important words you’ll ever say and drooling for added effect.

Go with your gut

Mostly it’s just that strong intense feeling in your gut that says what you’re about to do is the right thing, much like knowing when to lean in for that first kiss. You can just feel it coursing through your veins, a sort of an uneasy sensation that rises up to your throat and you feel if you don’t share it with your girlfriend, you might die. Mildly melodramatic, but it is true. Listen to your gut very carefully because that little bugger is right most of the times.

Once you feel you’re ready to say the magical words, just take her hands in yours, look deep into her eyes, and tell her what’s in your heart. Tell her you love her and that you can’t believe how incredibly happy she makes you; that when she’s around, you feel like a different man, a better man, the luckiest man alive; that you can spend the rest of your life in her sweet embrace.

 And i'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend

...LEONHART

SITE; www.chriskingleonhart.com

BBM PIN: 7514F89C
TWITTER: @chrisxleonhart
FACEBOOK: Chrisking Leonhart
FACEBOOK PAGE : Facebook.com/chrisking.leonhart.den
e-Mail: chrisking4u@yahoo.com , lordcommanderleonhart@gmail.com

THE WAYS TO A WOMAN's HEART

They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach - I am not sure it still works but surely a good meal can soften up the heart (especially if you are very hungry).

Today I want to tell you about the way to a woman's heart. 

Remember the joke, "How to make a woman happy"? A man needs to be a mighty number of things (which still doesn't guarantee 100% success rate) to make a woman happy.

To lighten the mood here’s the joke…

How to Make a Woman Happy 

  It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

  1. a friend
  2. a companion
  3. a lover
  4. a brother
  5. a father
  6. a master
  7. a chef
  8. an electrician
  9. a carpenter
  10. a plumber
  11. a mechanic
  12. a decorator
  13. a stylist
  14. a sexologist
  15. a gynecologist
  16. a psychologist
  17. a pest exterminator
  18. a psychiatrist
  19. a healer
  20. a good listener
  21. an organizer
  22. a good father
  23. very clean
  24. sympathetic
  25. athletic
  26. warm
  27. attentive
  28. gallant
  29. intelligent
  30. funny
  31. creative
  32. tender
  33. strong
  34. understanding
  35. tolerant
  36. prudent
  37. ambitious
  38. capable
  39. courageous
  40. determined
  41. true
  42. dependable
  43. passionate
  44. compassionate

 WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

  45.! give her compliments regularly
  46. love shopping
  47. read her mind
  48. be very rich
  49. not stress her out
  50. not look at other girls

 AND AT THE SAME TIME, HE MUST ALSO:

 51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
  52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
  53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

  IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

  54. Never to forget:
   - birthdays
   - anniversaries
   - arrangements she makes 

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

  1. Show up naked
  2. Bring food & beer

To make a man happy, all a woman needs to do is to show up naked with food and beer. (laughs)

I think it's very funny but also partially true.

Read the list of partner requirements in some women's profiles and you will probably find the complete 101-list with a few optional extras.

So.....

-- "Can you really make a woman happy?"

Permanently, she probably needs a child for that, but temporarily, you can soften her heart just as much as a naked woman with beer and pizza can soften a man's heart - IF you know what women want from men.

Most of all, women want UNDERSTANDING.

This is why women like to talk, so that she can help a man understand her. But because what she wants changes several times a day, it's pretty hard to deliver to her what she wants.

So, forget what she says. Because she doesn't really know what she wants - she thinks she does but if you do as she asks, she may still not be happy because you didn't do it "exactly" in the way she wanted you to do it (you know what I mean).

I understand the ultimate men's frustration with trying to make a woman happy.

So, don't try to make her happy! 

Just concentrate on the task of bringing a smile to her face and getting a sincere "Thank you" in return - it's much easier believe me.

Because women want UNDERSTANDING, she actually doesn't want to tell you what will make her happy - she wants you to figure it out by yourself and then deliver it in a perfect order and then she will be happy (temporarily).

MOST of this happiness will come not from what you actually did but from the fact that you "understood" her.

I know, go figure!

So, let me give you a helping hand here...

Every woman in summary wants to:

1.   Feel beautiful and needed

2.   Become even more beautiful and attended to

3.   Be considered health-conscious and Earth-saving

4.   Be considered elegant and fashionable

5.   Stop pimples on her face

6.   Get gifts from her man

To further expand this …here are a few ways to sneak closer to her heart. But remember…scoring (getting laid) doesn’t mean you’ve entered her heart…she might just be using you (like u do them player).

And that is why some of them get shocked when you drop the L bomb (I love you) on them. So here goes a lil list of to-dos if u want to have a chance.

0
 Do the Above...SHOW THE RING!!!  LOL

1

 Be Yourself. Don't try to act like anyone else. Remember you are at your best when you are yourself. And, if a woman loves you truly, she will love you for who you are. Remember you cannot always act like somebody else, very soon she will discover and she won't be impressed.(wuss)

2

Approach her: Be brave and make the first move. Society has programmed it this way. Women feel awkward to approach a man. She may like you but she will never approach you. So guy, take the first move, it is only manlike to do so. Do not fear rejection. Remember when you approach a woman, there are only two probabilities; acceptance or rejection. And all men are usually rejected at some point in their life. (even the jocks)

3

Pay attention to your looks. Be neat and smart. And always remember your shoes. Women usually notice the type of shoes which men wear. Dirty shoes are a “tell off” to women. Always polish your shoes well. You don't have to have very expensive shoes, only make sure they are clean and in good condition. (Career jock…bikers in dirty boots get laid all the time too so remember there are always exceptions to rules)

4

Be caring. Every woman wants a caring man. Learn what she wants and care about her feelings. When she tells you about her problems, empathize with her but don’t always try to offer solutions, she doesn’t always need that. (Blend of wuss and jock)

5

Tell her she is beautiful. This reassures her a lot.

6

Compliment her. One thing which women value much is their hair. Tell her that her hair looks beautiful/stunning. This is sure to earn you a smile! Always notice when she has done a different style. Hair is the most valued asset to women. Also complement her clothes. If she looks stunning tell her so. Another thing to watch out for is her smooth skin, tell her you love it. Every woman usually needs compliments to survive. (pthew… wuss)

7

Protect her. Women feel safer when near a man who loves them. Remember women are usually afraid of many things, some untold. They need someone to be strong for them. Put your arms around her. It makes her feel protected. Hold her hand, play with her fingers gently. When you are walking at night, hold her in your arms, she will feel very safe. Let a woman lean on your shoulders when she feels weak and also hold her and gently stroke her hair when she cries. (Yeah…jock)

8

Be a gentleman. Open doors for her, pull her seat and always let her in first. (Heehaw!!!…wuss flag is flying)

9

Be masculine. Every woman loves her man to be strong. Help her with tedious work for example carrying some heavy load or even changing oil in her car. Always show her you are strong. Women love the masculine physique and usually when they watch football, they secretly admire the masculine swagger of the players. Show her some swagger too. You will never go wrong. (You’re riding shogun JOCK!!)

10

Give her attention. Always be willing to spend time with her. Call her to ask how she is doing. But never be too much available. Women need men who can connect to them emotionally. The best way to win a woman's heart is through emotional connection. For women, emotions matter more than everything else. Always talk to her and try to be understanding. (Mainly wuss but not so bad huh... lil blend of jockitude)

11

Study her. Know everything that she likes and dislikes and you will be better placed in relating with her.

12

Give her little gifts. These mean a lot to her. Jewelry is a good start.

13

Personal values. Have important values in life. Show her you are human and also show her you are intelligent. Women love intelligent men. Women will always ask you about certain topics when they want to test your intelligence so the more you know, the better. However, be yourself and acknowledge what you don't know.

14

Learn how to flirt with women (She needs a reminder why you’re the man she fell for…often)

15

Be fun to be with. A good sense of humor is quite an advantage.

16

Be honest. Women don't like men who lie to them.

17

Be Unpredictable.  A man with a little mystery and spontaneity is never boring.

18.

Be good with her friends. If her friends like/love you… you’d be surprised the kind of advantage you would have. Its like playing soccer at your own home territory.

19.

Be Ambitious. A woman likes it when you’re a man that’s always on the go…successful but never satisfied... (Most women though).

20.

Last but not the least (at all)…Be a Good Lover

A number of women only read of orgasms in books and see it in videos. Give her one or two regularly and you can keep her for life if you add the other advice given above so far.

These and more Exist…but you know women.

There is no completely understanding them… its like each one comes with a different instruction manual.

All I know is the power button and volume controls all work same in all of them….LOLZ

So…. i’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend

LEONHART.

BBM PIN: 7C799724
TWITTER: @chrisxleonhart
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