PAYING IN DATING (When and How to Spend)

It's a FACT: right now, most single women are feeling frustrated and unsatisfied with the men they're meeting.

That in mind, I have to ask you...

WHY AREN'T YOU TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THIS SITUATION?

If you're still sitting on the bench, there can only be 2 possible reasons for it:

#1) You have so many women chasing you that you don't even need to try.

Or...

#2) You're dealing with obstacles like anxiety, fear, or lack of self-esteem that destroy your chances of success before you even get started.

If #2 sounds like you, I'm here to tell you that you can CHANGE EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW...and it's easier than you think

 

***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***

I have a question concerning dating and when/when not to pay for stuff. At what point (if any) should I pay for both of us when dating? I don't want to get the woman into the mind set of "courtship." What should a man pay for when he's dating?

"THE LIONS DEN" has changed me for the better. I look forward to getting your posts.

Sincerely, E.

MY COMMENTS:

This is a common dilemma that most men face...

"To pay or not to pay, that is the question."

Before i go on let me say something. there are women who dont fancy men spending much or even spending at all on them and every unique woman has her reasons.. however, there are two common reasons why some women do that.

1. They don't want you believing they owe you something (Anything...especially sex).

2. A woman genuinely likes you and seeing that you're not financially strong wouldn't want you to attempt winning her over with gifts and cash..she wants you to be yourself.

There are other reasons but lets proceed at this point..

Here are some of the problems that "paying" creates:

1. It sets you up as the one who is "pursuing" the woman, which symbolically gives away your power to her.

2. It can be expensive.

3. It usually causes women to play even "harder to get".

4. It triggers all kinds of "courtship" behaviors. Like her making you prove yourself, waiting to have sex, etc.

5. The places you'll be going to "pay" are often not the best places to actually get to know another human being. Movies, fancy dinners, etc., aren't natural environments and they don't lead to people "being themselves".

So, what's the alternative?

Well, the FIRST thing you should do is CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK ABOUT "DATING"...and "paying".

Most guys just naturally assume that if they're "taking a girl out" that they need to take her to a show or movie, a nice dinner, etc.

And by the way, this is actually part of a much BIGGER issue...that most guys feel OBLIGATED to give things to women, buy them things...and basically PAY for their attention and affection.

If you've got a "bad" case of this, then I recommend that you visit my blog again and do some real reading from my older posts. It will help you change all of that BAD programming, and build a self image and a powerful self confidence that will make women feel more NATURALLY attracted to you.

Of course, these are basically the WORST places to go with a woman in the beginning because, as I mentioned above, they aren't very "natural" places to be.

Instead of asking a woman "out to dinner", try this...

When you're talking on the phone about getting together say, "Let's meet for a cup of tea. This way, if YOU turn out to be a complete freak, I can run away easily."

If she has a good sense of humor...this will get a laugh, and it will get her thinking to herself, "Wow, this guy is qualifying ME."

Also, suggest a place that's close to your house, in case you want to invite her over afterward.

When you meet for tea, actually drink tea (or iced tea/cream). Because coffee makes your breath nasty and tea is perceived as a more "classy" drink. It's also cheaper than a latte or a mocha.

After you have tea for 30 or 60 minutes, decide how YOU like HER. If you want to continue say either:

"Hey, let's keep talking. I want to shop for a bit, come along."

...or...

"Hey, let's keep talking. Where are you parked? You can follow me..." (to your place, of course).

In either case, just assume that she will go along with whatever you're doing, and she almost always will if you're doing a good job of being Cocky & Funny and keeping her attention.

If you do go out "shopping", go to a funky alternative neighborhood mall that has maybe tattoo shops, record stores, ethnic food restaurants, etc. Every city has an area like this, so go there.

These places are SO GREAT because they have fun and interesting conversation BUILT RIGHT IN.

If things are going well, and you're enjoying the time with her, you can then have her follow you over to your place. Again, just tell her that you're enjoying the conversation, and that you'd like to continue...and for her to follow you.

Total expense (if you pay for her tea and yours):

A few bucks.

How much better is this than taking her out to an expensive meal and trying to have a normal conversation across a table while being forced to look right at each other all night?

You do the math.

If you actually do a little creative thinking, you can figure out ALL KINDS of great things to do that cost little or no money at all when you go out with women.

Extra bonus:

When you don't do "normal" dating things, women will tend to play "hard to get" less. They'll expect less in the way of gifts and money spent on them and they'll actually HAVE MORE FUN and want to go out with you again and again

Really.

And if you're reading this right now, and you haven't yet read my previous posts, go back and read all of them at THE LIONS DEN (www.chriskingleonhart.com) and it will make EVERYTHING about women and dating make more sense.

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

LEONHART.

BBM PIN: 7C799724
TWITTER: @chrisxleonhart
FACEBOOK: Chrisking Leonhart
FACEBOOK PAGE : Facebook.com/chrisking.leonhart.den
e-Mail: chrisking4u@yahoo.com , lordcommanderleonhart@gmail.com

TRUTH LOST IN A BAG OF LIES....(RESPONSE TO WOMAN)

Am going to write this just to have fun... so if it stirs anger of hate or rash comments, then maybe i can call it an article of truth.. (because the truth is always bitter).

 

We often make mistakes of saying "if he loves me... he'll accept me the way I am".

They oft' forget that maybe, just maybe..the "way you are" isn't the right way you should be. Perhaps a little adjustment or change here and there. 

 

You wear make-up because you know u need to brush up on what is already available even though God in his infinite wisdom created you without them. 

Why do I say this... I will explain.

It is true, not all relationships are meant to be. Some are meant to lead to marriage. Some are for experience, some just to soothe a lonely spirit or for companionship, Some for Sex. Some last just a long distance and crash along the way when you discover you can do better... etc let's not broaden this comment more than it will be. 

Now, a man is a complex personality. But before I describe him I will say something about women. 

God created woman, we all accept that. as both helper and companion. And a woman depends on man for almost everything including her feelings. 

However some women who believe they are independent of men... still go ahead to date men and string them along only for material and sexual gratification and when I say "men" I mean the plural form i.e they don't keep one. These same women,when they find a man who they feel meets their qualifications... begin to grumble when they discover the man was "just passing by" if you know what I mean. 

Perhaps the man can see beyond their new pretend behavior of content. Why are they trying to change from their former slutty ways when they meet an Alpha Male....Why don't they stay there and wait for the man to "Love them as they are". 

Adjustments are necessary in new situations. 

A man is a polygamous entity in nature... hate it or love it. Finding and keeping one exclusively is not entirely impossible but requires a bit of factors working in your favor. 

1. Love (obviously the greatest but weak on it own)

2. Upbringing (way and manner he was trained )

3. Religion (how close to God he is)

4. Environment (Where he finds himself or how exposed he is).

5. Mindset/Conscience (How he sees women)

6. You (your effort as a woman).

Let me stop there for now but notice that YOU "the woman" are only number six (6) on the list. And not 1, 2 or 3. Not even top 5

When looking for  a serious relationship many things must be put in check. 

If you know you're a weakling that cannot stand the heat of competition or fight for their man as some women would do in a heartbeat then you should be ready for a long life of search, misery, heartbreak and perhaps when it all ends...settling with someone you would only manage or lie to yourself that u love because you're tired of the wait. (you'll end up banging that your neighbors hot husband that screams and yells at her like a dog still....yes because HE is THE MAN...and not your docile remote controlled toy you call husband). 

You meet a bunch of Nice guys that are ready to lie on the ground for you to step on them and pass but you want that "bad boy" that all the wizened up cats and vixens use to keep their libido's sated (satisfied) . Why? Because you want to be able to stand proud and say...that's my man.  

And you think you'll keep him by doing his laundry and fucking him. (just like a million other girls will also do if given the chance). And u believe when you do those things for him it makes you special... you even remind him how you do chores for him like it's a very special thing? (don't do it now...someone else will...gladly..with "Jara" like my people say).

Before you meet a man for a new relationship, remember that there are ticks and lice (old flames and stubborn habits). 

You.... that is his new ringworm... in your bid for exclusive attention you forget that he has to treat his other afflictions (which of course he won't admit to having).... While you are around ensure you use a triple action drug while washing his head so it will kill off both known and unknown.

 

What am I saying... don't assume you have come to stay and get comfortable. Remember that Old flames not well quenched can rekindle at the blow of air. And those old flames are not happy that someone is eating where they tilled and toiled. They would try to accommodate the knowledge of your existence but that don't mean they're not waiting (if not plotting) for u to fail as they did...and take advantage of the Window. (time b/w breakup and getting a new love).

Now I must correct some misconceptions in words women use: (Note that they are mostly true...but in this case... I am going to use my responses as those exceptions to every rule)

1.  If a man wants you nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't nothing can make him stay. 

(sounds good to those suffering or recovering from heartache/heartbreak... often used by psychologists to make one feel better.)

 

Even if a man truly loves you, there's a lot that can keep him away no matter how hard he fights. Incompatible lovers tend to go downstream not because the love failed to exist but because they both belong to different schools of thought or his one and your zero are not a perfect fit. Etc. Mail me if u wanna hear more.

2. "Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that is not meant to be" 

(this is another Mumbo -Jumbo... its just like saying "don't get attracted to jerks"... attraction is not a choice. you don't just DECIDE to be attracted to someone...its an innate involuntary action brought about by the amount of chemistry one is able to build over first to subsequent impressions. 

 

In that light... u don't just DECIDE to stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's NOT MEANT to be. How do you know at the onset it's not meant to be... how do you know during trying periods it's not meant to be.... So if you're a dry/ no-fun piece of complaining quick tempered ass and your attitude is threatening your relationship, you won't change? 

You'd conclude it's not meant to be and go on to another man to bore his life to death as well? 

Most times we need only look in the mirror to see the cause of our problems.

3. Slower is better...Never live your life for a man.

(Well that's good advice, and I agree with you. That's how it ought to be...However it's not my fault that The creator disagrees with the both of us ... Genesis 3:16 ... this one goes out to all the "independent women". continue telling yourself what makes you feel better.  It's okay to be independent of a man's finances and all that but that bond is spiritual and there's nothing you and I can say about it. The bible ended that case.  So...next. 

4. If you "feel" like he's stringing you along then he probably is .. don't stay because you think it will get better. (a. Very true... yes leave... b. Coward. you're too weak for competition. Run away anytime u feel threatened, afterall you're the lowest on the food chain abi?.)  put in some fight if u can and bail if u can't. There's another man waiting for you and another girl too for him. 

5. Avoid men who've got a bunch of kids from different women, he didn't marry them. Why would he treat you any better. 

(Well, I guess you can guess your answer from Annie Marcauly, baby mama turned wife to Innocent Idibia a.k.a 2face). 

Shebi he was stringing her along abi? Now she's enjoying her patience. Despite all his cheating and misbehavior. 

6. If a relationship ends because he's not treating you right then heck you cannot be friends. A friend won't mistreat a friend.  

( whatever, perhaps you'd rather be enemies with someone you still have love for... 

Remember it was once a relationship... unless you were never friends before... why would he be cruel to you. try to find out where you went wrong so at least you don't repeat it in your next relationship or you can remain a bitter person. your choice.

7. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. 

(So would he when you don't tell him. Have your secrets but don't let them drown you). 

8. Don't ever make him feel he is more important than you are even if he has a better education and job. 

(in that case he doesn't need you to make him feel he's better than you... he is...at least for now... and he knows it. focus on your hustle and keep your pride in your pocket. No matter what you think of yourself...at some point in life someone must lord over you. you're always answerable to someone...don't hastily forget genesis 3:16

Bottom-line, Don't lose in your Angle... but if you do....don't be a sore loser. pick up your pieces...patch it up and learn...then proceed. 

Don't sit and tell yourself you're a victim of this world's Bad boy Syndrome and try to make others drown in your ideology. It's not their fault someone else beat you at your own game.

i wonder what you will do when you get to understand what Isiah 4:1 actually means...maybe then you will learn to stand and fight rather than nag and complain.

However, Guys... You can see what your Games are causing. Slow down. at least till Isiah 4:1 starts happening full time. lol

And i"ll talk to you again soon,
....... Your Friend

.....LEONHART

BBM PIN: 2AF6026F
TWITTER: @chrisxleonhart
FACEBOOK: Chrisking Leonhart
FACEBOOK PAGE : Facebook.com/chrisking.leonhart.den
e-Mail: chrising4u@yahoo.com , lordcommanderleonhart.gmail.com

ADVICE TO WOMEN FROM A WOMAN...

This is a piece from a woman, she wanted to give advice to all the women she could reach and am supposed to upload it verbatim (as is) so here goes....

“If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.” “Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be.” “Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.” “If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don’t stay because you think ‘it will get better.’ You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.” “Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?” “Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.” “You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.” “He is a man; nothing more, nothing less.” “Never let a man define who you are.” “Never borrow someone else’s man. If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.” “A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you.” “All men are NOT dogs.” “You should not be the one doing all the bending–compromise is a two-way street.” “If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t ‘be friends.’ A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend. Don’t settle.” “The only person you can control in a relationship is you.” “Always have your own set of friends separate from his” “Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.” “Don’t ever make him feel he is more important than you are, even if he has more education or a better job.” “Do not make him into a quasi-god.” "The only man that's exceptional to this write-up is the one who puts a ring on your finger" Hi gorgeous, you are pretty. Pretty as your name. You know it, clap your hands. This is a toast to you, for the man who has you, and the losers who lost you. Lucky are the dudes who are going to meet you.

And i'll talk to y'all again soon (personally)
               Your Friend 
         Chrisking Leonhart

Questions to Test Your Relationship Compatibility

Are you and your lover thinking along the same lines? Here are some relationship questions that can help both of you understand each other better.

A relationship is all about compatibility.

Opposites attract all the time, but too many opposites and no similarities won’t really help a relationship succeed.

When you have small differences, it makes them cute.

But when you have differences in your approach to life or your ethics about relationships, it’s definitely not good for the romance.

One of you could compromise, but that’s not really an option for the long term, is it?

Are you in a relationship with someone for around a year or so?

Then these questions will definitely help both of you test your compatibilities and understand each other better.

Do you find yourself getting angry with your partner for no reason at all? Perhaps, there are some overlooked issues that you need to face together.

Relationship questions to create better love

Sit down with your partner on a lazy Sunday afternoon, ask each other these questions and have an open mind. To make it easier for your partner so they don’t assume any of these are trick questions, you answer first so they know your views too (risky though if it’s the man asking and answering first, women tend to customize their answers to resemble yours and to protect the relationship.. e.g when u ask how many people u dated in life and the man says 5…even if she’s dated an uncountable figure she’ll put it around or below the guys own figure).

Don’t let any questions annoy you and don’t ever clam up or go on the defensive. Remember, the answers to these questions should be truthful and help both of you understand each other better.

And by the time you’re done with the questions, you’d know more about each other and would also understand each other’s approach to life too.

#1. Name two of my closest friends.

 
#2. What was I wearing when we first met?

 
#3. Where was I born? 

 
#4. When is my birthday?

 
#5. Who is my favorite relative?

 
#6. What is my fondest unrealized dream?

 
#7. What is my favorite time of day for lovemaking?

 
#8. What was one of my best/worst childhood experiences?

  

#9. What do I like most to do with my time off?

 
#10. What is my favorite movie?

 
#11. What do I fear most?

 
 

#12. Which side of the bed do I prefer?

 
#13. What medical problems do I worry about most?

 
#14. What is my favorite romantic restaurant?

 
#15. Name one of my favorite novels. 

 
#16. Name two of the people I admire most.

 
#17. What is my favorite sex position?

 
#18. What spot on my body is most sensitive?

 
#19. What was my most embarrassing moment?

 
#20. What is my favorite outfit to wear when I want to look sexy? 

 
#21. Do I prefer texts or calls?

 
#22. What is my favorite holiday?

 
#23. What physical quality am I most attracted to in the opposite sex?

#24. When was the first time I had sex?

#25. How many kids do I want to have?

#26. What is the date of our anniversary?

#27. What did I think about you when we first met?

 
#28. When did we have our first kiss?

#29. What is my favorite getaway place?

#30. What is my favorite way to spend an evening?

 

#31 What is the ideal number of calls a couple should exchange in a day?

#32 Would you compromise your happiness for the success of the relationship?

#33 What’s your idea of a romantic vacation?

#34 What’s the single most important thing for a relationship to be successful?

#35 What would you define as cheating?

#36 If I cheated on you, would you ever forgive me? 

#37 Would you ever say sorry to me even if it’s not your fault?

#38 Are you friends with any of your exes?

#39 How should finances be planned between a couple?

#40 Do you think celebrating Valentine’s Day is corny?

#41 What was your first impression about me?

#42 Can you avoid flirting if someone attractive flirts with you when I’m not around?

#43 Do you think romantic gifts have to be memorable or do they have to be useful?

#44 How would you want to spend a special day with each other?

#45 What is the most special memory of us that you hold?

#46 If I told you to jump off a tall cliff and tell you that you’ll land safely because there’s a net you can’t see yet, would you blindly trust me and jump?

#47 Do you have to know all of my friends?

#48 Do you think past relationship secrets should always be kept hidden?

#49 Do you think confessions make a relationship stronger?

#50 Is it fine for a partner to use the toilet with the door open?

#51 After a break up, would you ask for your gifts back/would you give back all the gifts?

#52 Which love song best describes our relationship?

#53 Describe your perfect man/woman that you would like to date.

#54 In a relationship, what would make you feel happier, sharing or sacrificing?

#55 Would you lie to make me happy and where would you draw the line?

#56 What are some annoying habits of other couples that irritate you the most?

#57 Who would you prefer as a partner, a good looking person or an extremely clever person?

#58 How do you vent out your frustrations in a relationship?

#59 When was the last time I came in your dreams?

#60 If we went to a store to buy a couch and both of us liked different couches, would you still go with my pick?

#61 Is sex about constantly pushing the boundaries or playing by the rules?

#62 How often would you want to go out on a date with me in a month?

#63 What is your biggest sexual turn off?

#64 What do you find sexiest about a person of the opposite sex?

#65 What’s your wildest sexual fantasy that you’d want to try with me?

#66 Would you feel insecure if I spent a lot of time at work?

#67 How many sexual partners have you had in the past?

#68 If you were convinced that I was making a bad decision, what would you do about it?

#69 Do you like babies/how many kids would you like to have someday?

#70 When was the last time you disliked me?

#71 If someone attractive exchanges glances with you at work or out there, would you tell me about it?

#72 What’s the craziest thing you’d be willing to do for me?

#73 What kind of a parent do you think you’d be?

#74 When do you think a person is ready for marriage?

#75 What’s the one thing about me you’d like to change?

#76 In an argument, whose side would you take, me or your mother?

#77 Would you relocate for love?

#78 Would you be open to disclosing all your health issues to me all the time?

#79 If you’re having a bad day, would you want me to leave you alone or spend time with you and cheer you up?

#80 What’s more important, sexual chemistry or spending time together?

These relationship questions may seem tricky to your partner at first, but as long as you answer first and help your partner open up, both of you would be able to learn from each other’s answers and develop a better relationship over time.

TAKE NOTE HOWEVER…

• If the couple really loves each other then they won't care if they aren't compatible.
• Just because a couple doesn't have anything in common doesn't mean that they aren't meant for each other.

Warnings

• Don't tell people that, just because they aren't compatible, they aren't meant for each other. That will make them mad.
• Always remember that you can't always rely on a compatibility test when you are in a true relationship.

And i"ll talk to you again soon,
....... Your Friend

.....LEONHART

BBM PIN: 2AF6026F
TWITTER: @chrisxleonhart
FACEBOOK: Chrisking Leonhart
FACEBOOK PAGE : Facebook.com/chrisking.leonhart.den
e-Mail: chrising4u@yahoo.com , lordcommanderleonhart.gmail.com