Sunday, January 27, 2013


         For my female friends who were very interested in this topic. I just have to post my views on this. Its awkward when supposed friends have sex and it changes everything/…The first reaction when you wake up at a dear friend’s place, in her bed - and well, naked - can be of utter awkwardness. Something you would not say to yourself would be that you really “messed up”.

          Thinking it all to be just casual sex would be a bigger mistake afterwards because, with someone as close as a friend, and being a girl at that, comes with a ‘D’ for demanding. Some friendships come with benefits like sex without the strings attached, and the participants have no issues at all…BUT..... It’s not always so.
      Here’s the question for you, whether your friendship can survive the sex? Following the steps below can help you out when shit hits the fan:

The Talk

Waking up to reality would never seem harder than this. You would probably blame yourself and the woman herself with no one being ready to talk. Not a good sign. 

Talk is what it really needs, so if you can make way for that, there is a chance. Don't follow your brain man! listen to your heart. Don’t wait for her to give that first call. Just dial her number and TALK!

No Sharing
A solid ‘rule’ and a good one too. Do not go about telling others in the circle about the escapade. That would spell nothing short of blasphemy for the future of your friendship, which you totally cherish and would like to have back. Respect the importance of your friendship and keep your mouth shut.

Feeling of Falling in Love
There can be a very predictable and obvious pull in the heart that you are probably in love with your friend.   

Sex doesn’t lead to love, not at least with one encounter. So, you might just need to clear your head and think about what else in common you share with your friend and is it really love?

The Fear Pang
Grappled with the thought of losing your friend due to the sexcapade, you could very well be on the verge of a psychological impediment. Don’t give in to this trauma, and instead, remember the need to keep your thinking crystal clear to work the situation out.

Do not Lose Touch

If you do not get over the fear, and that first awkward conversation, you risk losing touch forever! DO not let yourself lose that old camaraderie just because you saw her naked.

Moving On
Should nothing work out and the above steps prove fruitless, appreciate the whole idea of having had such a dear friend and the prospect of having slept with her may leave behind a sweet memory instead.

So, can friendship survive sex? Absolutely, all you need to have is a bit of a faith and that overrated thing called ‘courage’ to save your friendship from falling in a deep abyss of awkwardness. You do that and you can have a friend for life or maybe an FWB (friend with benefits).

But hey, whatever did you do to get yourself friend-zoned in the first place?

i'll talk to you again soon 
Your Friend 

follow me on twitter @chrisxleonhart
Facebook  :              chrisking leonhart
Facebook page: Chrisking Leonhart (

subscribe free:        if you're viewing on mobile
click on ''view web version'' at bottom of page
the at the end of the loaded page enter your email in the
empty space and click submit or
click on the 'subscribe to posts (atom) at
the bottom of the blog, then click on the drop
down menu that reads "subscribe to this feed using"
and select your carrier e.g Yahoo or Google for g-mail
if you want to be notified

Thursday, January 24, 2013


              Getting caught cheating will surely earn you four punctured tires and a drained bank account. If you must cheat, learn the fine art from some of the most high profile wandering gentlemen and how they pulled off their infidelities. Marriage - and balls - intact.

Sometimes in life, our lower halves override our brains and we end up sampling things we shouldn't, and in the process hurting our better halves. And I'm not trying to imply straying once in a while is OK - I think cheating is a bad move and would undoubtedly unleash "the fury for which hell hath no comparison" on any man by the woman betrayed.

While I'd like to tell you that getting caught cheating will surely earn you four slashed tires, possessions strewn across your front lawn, and a drained bank account, I cannot. What I can do is show you some of the most high profile wandering gentlemen and how they pulled off their infidelities. Marriage - and balls - intact. Why? To give hope to dog housed cheaters everywhere. And because I'm just as flat-out amazed by these guys.

What Bill did: Took the term "Executive Privilege" to new heights by receiving blow jobs from chunky White House intern Monica Lewinsky, while serving as President of the United States and Leader of the Free World. Which he promptly lied about. Then causing the entire world to be creeped-out when the details were finally released. Not a very smooth move by Mr. Bill. He lied to Hillary also at first, then the morning he had to testify he confessed the whole thing, making her realize that she'd been sticking up for a liar. Publicly. Big, global story. Unimaginable public humiliation for Hillary. But did she leave him? Nope.

Why Hillary forgave him: In her 2003 memoir, she would attribute her decision to stay married to love: "No one understands me better and no one can make me laugh the way Bill does. Even after all these years, he is still the most interesting, energizing and fully alive person I have ever met."
Bill's Secret: He cheated on someone who is more rational and better at thinking things through than he is. And loads of charisma doesn't hurt.


What Kobe did: "Sexually assaulted" (more like "hooked-up with" if you ask me), 19 year-old Katelyn Faber, an employee of the Colorado hotel where he was staying. After accusing Bryant of sexual assault, Faber later refused to testify and all charges were dropped. Big national story, press conference confession of adultery by Kobe, lots of public humiliation for his wife Vanessa. Deep shit, right?.... Wrong!

Why Vanessa forgave him: Mrs. Bryant issued a statement saying her beloved husband "has made a mistake -- the mistake of adultery... I know that he did not commit a crime, he did not assault anyone. He is a loving and kind husband and father. I believe in his innocence." 

A very sweet and very supportive statement from a loving wife. Wearing the $4 million, eight carat, purple diamond ring she just received from her adulterous husband.
Kobe's Secret: Knowing when a lady can be bought. And having the millions to do it.

What Jesse did: Cheated on his wife for four years, producing an out-of-wedlock (I won't say "bastard"), baby in 1999. 

He even used his charity's (tax exempt!) funds to move her ass out to CA. All the way out to CA, that is. For a man who uses "Reverend" instead of "Mr.", this is not exactly divine behavior. And Mrs. Cheating Reverend Jesse Jackson? Did she demand an eye for an eye and get to know one of Jesse's flock "in the biblical sense"? Not at all.
Why Jackie forgave him: He righted his funding wrong, and apologized to Jackie, their children, and thousands of parishioners publicly at a church. And continued to pray for and ask the public for forgiveness.
Jesse's secret: Actual, genuine remorse. Preach, Jesse, preach!


What Ozzy did: Cheated on Sharon constantly for the first four years of their marriage - including getting freaky with the nanny the night their son Jack was born. How fatherly. You'd think there would be some security in marrying someone as weird-looking as Ozzy, but... guess not!

Why Sharon forgave him: She blamed it on his drug and alcohol abuse - but not before she made him believe his cheating had earned him a case of AIDS. That's right, she set up a hoax AIDS test to scare Mini Ozzy back into his pants forever. Forgiveness? More like reigning by terror.

Ozzy's Secret: The old "alcohol and drugs made me do it" gambit. And then staying faithful. You don't want to piss off a lady who would make her own husband think he'd contracted a deadly virus.

What Becks did: Allegedly hit the sheets with his personal assistant, Rebecca Loos, 

at least four times in 2004 while his wife Victoria was traveling in another country. Not to mention engaging in lots of phone sex and raunchy text messages. Big, hot, celebrity sex scandal with tabloids on at least two continents descending like wolves - how fun for Victoria and the kids!

Why Victoria forgave him: Victoria recently told the New Zealand edition of Stuff Magazine that it was the roughest point in their marriage, but it actually ended up making their marriage hotter. (((WOW))). No indication that he apologized, admitted it... or anything. But somehow he came out on top. Maybe he just took off his shirt and smiled at her?

David's secret: Being an international sports star - with a mega-mill contract to match. And looking exactly like David Beckham.

If you wanna cheat and get away with it, you have to identify your selling point. Theres gotta be something about  you that she/he cannot afford to miss. theres gotta be a link that keeps your union strong. 
Even if its your goodybag (hehehehe)...

And i'll talk to you again soon,
Your Friend 

follow me on twitter @chrisxleonhart
facebook  :              chrisking leonhart
facebook page: Chrisking Leonhart (

subscribe free:        if youre viewing on mobile
click on ''view web version'' at bottom of page
the at the end of the loaded page enter your email in the
empty space and click submit or
click on the 'subscribe to posts (atom) at
the bottom of the blog, then click on the drop
down menu that reads "subscribe to this feed using"
and select your carrier e.g Yahoo or Google for g-mail
if you want to be notified

Friday, January 18, 2013


4. IF YOU SEE A STORY THAT LOOKS LIKE AM TALKING ABOUT YOU…LOOK AGAIN…IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU.(but if you're smart and this piece preaches to you ,you"ll take the jokes in good faith and try to change for good)

Women around the world have been asking me for this since I posted a very brief topic on WHY WOMEN CHEAT.
Well…here it is …and it is not for the feeble minded.
Word of advice, get a bottle or cup of something cuz this is going to be massive. 

Blame it on the genes

In troubled relationships, cheating can be an easy alternative to the burden of a breakup or the agony of divorce. It's a quick fix for the sake of the couple's or the family's integrity. Some of us have even gone so far as to enact the long-distance code: If you cheat in another zip code, it doesn't count.

And with evolutionary psychologists telling us that we are wired to lay our seeds in as many women as possible to ensure our genetic survival, adultery is slowly becoming a defensible misdeed, which may explain why women are catching up to men in the game of infidelity.

Because of our insatiable appetite for sex, we men can sometimes only be as faithful as our options. Here are the main reasons why some men will opt to shed their devotion and cheat on their partners.

Now in descending order……

Number 19
Driven by caveman instincts
While on a superficial level men have evolved from their hairy caveman days, the basic instincts have barely changed since the days of being hunters with clubs! For thousands of years a man's job was to procreate as much as possible. Although in our current times of over population and the cultural structure of one man for one woman is accepted, at least in theory by men, the genetic and primal instincts of the "hunter" in a man often drives them back to giving in to those urges.

Number 18
Competition and the wrong crowd
 While this reason affects only a minority of men, it still acts as a misguided catalyst to why men cheat. If a man is surrounded by his friends who sleep around with other women, he may subconsciously feel competitive and try and do the same to be "in" with his crowd
Number 17
He is not who he seems to be.
This man never intended to be monogamous, despite taking a vow or making a commitment to do so. He lacks empathy for his spouse, and he resentfully sees monogamy as something to work around rather than respect. His need to get what he wants when he wants it -- and that supersedes the value he places on intimacy and partnership.

Number 16
He is unaware of his (and others) emotional needs
until overwhelmed by them. This is the guy who complains that he is not getting the same love, attention and adoration from his spouse as he got when they were first dating. Feeling trapped and drained, often longing for the courtship phase of his early relationship, he will turn to the extensive use of online porn, affairs and sensual massage to temporarily meet the emotional needs he may not even know he has.

Number 14
He is insecure.
Feeling old, undesirable, unattractive, unsuccessful, etc., this man uses affairs, prostitutes and other forms of sexual intensity to reassure himself of his desirability and worth. This man will often go to strip clubs, attempt to become that "special" client to a particular prostitute, or otherwise seek situations that provide external validation in an attempt to bolster his failing self-esteem.

Number 13
He is unhappy in his relationship.
     The duality of security and excitement - Most relationships       after the first few years of passion dwindle down to a mundane regularity of life's struggles. The excitement and passion that once existed is longer there. This can certainly be resolved but requires the active work by both. Most couples fail to do that. However, while the relationship might get rather boring, it provides the important element of comfort and security to both. The man may have an affair to inject the excitement that is missing with his current partner, but at the same is hell bent on keeping it a secret as the fear of destroying the security is too high.
This most common excuse for cheating usually sounds something like the following: "If you had to live with my wife/girlfriend/lover, you would cheat too. She's gained weight, nags me all the time AND she doesn't want to have sex anymore. So what's a guy to do?" But in reality, no matter how logical or entertaining a distraction infidelity may seem at the time,
having sex or affairs when unhappy with your spouse is an extremely unhealthy way to deal with relationship problems.

Number 12
He is a sex or love addict.
This man uses sexual fantasy, urges and behaviors as a way to self-soothe and self-medicate challenging life stressors and strong emotions he finds difficult to tolerate. He uses sex and romantic intensity to temporarily distract from emotional emptiness and to avoid uncomfortable feelings. This man often has a long history of unresolved childhood trauma or other underlying psychological issues that cause him to rely on sexual intensity rather than intimacy for emotional fulfillment.

Number 11
Your sex life sucks.
If a man has a disinterested partner or isn't getting enough sex to fulfill him, there is a good chance he will have an affair. Just because you have a husband or boyfriend, does not mean you can stop trying. It takes a little bit of effort to keep your sex life from getting boring and non-existent. Some men cheat because they want to try new sexual things that their current partner will not try

Number 10

Your lady doesn't put out
Every man has heard that the best way to get a woman to stop having sex with him is by marrying her or becoming exclusive with her. Apparently, long-term relationships seem to suck the sex drive out of many women, leaving men gasping for fulfillment. With the need for more sex, some men will start "working late" more often.

Or it could just be that the sex has become boring. She doesn't want to try new things in bed, or won't perform fellatio. Some men may cheat because they don't want their girlfriends or wives to perform certain sex acts that would ruin their "good girl" image, so they get a mistress to take care of it. Like Robert de Nero said in “Analyze This” , "That's the mouth she kisses my kids good night with!"

In light of this, I call on lawmakers around the world to create an International BJ Day, where men and women get the day off from work and get all the oral satisfaction they need from their partners. I'll bet that this alone would cut infidelity by at least 75%. (SMILING COYLY)

Number 9
She cheated on you
So you found out your lady was being unfaithful, and the only way you can relieve your anger is by doing the same. For many men, this is the only way to get back at their cheating girlfriends and even the score. 

Some men might even cheat to get back at all the cheating women they've had the misfortune of dating throughout their lives; now that's efficiency (SMILING KNOWINGLY)

Number 8
It's challenging and exciting
The "high" of a challenge - From a young age, men love a challenge. From board games to computer games, most are centered on conquering and winning. In adult life, the ability and wit a man uses to get away with cheating on his wife or girlfriend provides a sense of winning or accomplishment. In addition, men love the challenge of finding other women to cheat with. Sure they enjoy the sexual part of the affair, but the sneaking around and pursuit is what really drives the man to be unfaithful. The ability to orchestrate the other woman in his life when then stakes are so high, gives him a buzz.
If you consider the women you sleep with "sexual trophies," chances are you have already cheated at least once in your life. Some men simply cannot leave behind the thrill of the hunt, the chase and the conquest. For other men, the excitement is in the variety, like changing ice cream flavors for one day after years of sticking to just one.

Number 7
You can get away with it
"What eyes don't see, the heart doesn't feel," goes the old adage, and it still holds true, as long as there are no cameras around. The knowledge that no one will find out and no one will get hurt is reason enough for some men to grab a different helping. But be careful; as men get craftier with avoiding detection, women get more sophisticated with detecting,

 not to mention boosting their network of spies.

Number 6
It boosts your ego
Stroking the "invisible" male organ - If there is one thing that men love more than their genitals being stroked, is stroking their invisible male member - his ego! The ability for him to find multiple women who want to engage in physical intimacy does wonders for his self-esteem. Being able to attract other women can temporarily blind his sense of right and wrong. However, the desire to reinforce their attractiveness to women which drives them to having affairs stems from a deep rooted lack of self-esteem.
Nothing lifts the old self-esteem like discovering that other women still desire you sexually. When in long-term relationships, men may begin to question their sexual marketability, which will lead some of them to sow their clandestine wild oats. Once a man knows he can get back in the game, he'll return to his mate; or not. (GRINNING WICKEDLY)

What's a guy to do when his girlfriend's-a-naggin' and opportunity comes-a-knockin'?

Number 5
The opportunity was there
It's an uncontested fact that most men can't say "NO" to sex. Although guys aren't constantly bombarded with sexual offers, sometimes an irresistible prospect presents itself. Maybe it's a frisky ex-girlfriend, maybe it's a horny hottie on the dance floor at “tonight’s club”. A guy may see it as a once-in-a-lifetime occasion that might never be available again. Carpe Diem, as they say.

Number 4
Your girlfriend is a nag
Most men have experienced at least one woman who thrives on making him feel like crap. Constant Nagging
, fighting and squabbling in the right ratios is the best recipe for a headache. 

Cheating with another woman is a common escape from this domestic hell, and works better than aspirin.

Number 3
Women let us
Truth be told, women are quick to forgive men for their unfaithful behavior. Maybe it's their fear of being alone, or that women are simply the more merciful ones of the human species. Some women might even blame themselves for their mens infidelities, and take steps to improve their relationships. The fact that many women let their men get away with murder might compel them to double deal repeatedly. Just ask Bill Clinton.

Number 2
She doesn't turn you on anymore
Long-term relationships and marriages have the annoying habit of making people lazy. No longer concerned with staying fit and attractive, a committed woman might lose the allure she once had. 

Her man may simply not find her beautiful anymore, and making love to her is not as stirring as it once was. This is why most mistresses are gorgeous, young women. 
Turn this picture upside down to see how she looks before marriage.

Number 1
You don't love her anymore
Alas, after a long time together, you have lost the feelings you once had for her. But the relationship has remained too much a part of you. 
Separating seems so painful, so radical that it's almost inconceivable. So instead of separating, you go elsewhere to get your physical gratification. Most times this does not help matters, but only prolongs the inevitable breakup.


In the end, cheating is no joking matter. If you are cheating on your girlfriend or wife, it might be that you are unhappy in the relationship, or that you have issues that you should address. Look at the big picture and see your unfaithfulness as a symptom of a bigger problem.

Cheating might feel good as a quick escape from your problems, but it's only an anesthetic -- not a long-term solution.


How are men and women different when it comes to cheating?

While both men and women cheat, there are important sex differences when it comes to cheating. The sex differences that influence cheating are based on two basic biological differences between men and women. 

First, men and women differ when it comes to eggs and sperm. Men can produce hundreds of millions of sperm per day. By comparison, women are born with a million or so eggs, but only a fraction, roughly one egg released every 28 days over a short period of time - from puberty to menopause - has the potential to create life. Simply stated, women have about 400 viable eggs to use (and taking into account gestation, only about 20 actual opportunities to reproduce), while men are capable of producing billions and billions of sperm.

The second basic biological difference deals with gestation. Embryos grow and develop in women, not men. For men, reproduction can literally take just a few minutes of effort; while for women it involves, at the very least, a nine-month process.
From a biological point of view, men can constantly and quickly engage in reproduction while women are much more limited in their ability to do so.

These biological differences influenced our psychological desires before the invention of modern forms of birth control and still influence our unconscious sexual desires today. Men are more likely than women to think about sex and fantasize about having sex with multiple partners. In fact, a multi-billion dollar industry - pornography - exploits this basic sexual difference.

Given this basic biological difference, here are some key differences between men and women when it comes to cheating:
  • Men are more likely than women to cheat with someone who is less attractive than their current partner. Women cheat up class while men are more opportunistic when it comes to cheating.
  • Men are more likely than women to have a one-night stand. Women are more prone to having emotional affairs.
  • Men are less likely to consider leaving their partners after cheating. When women cheat, it tends to be more emotionally involved so they are more likely to consider ending their current relationship.
Men are more likely than women to repeatedly cheat on a spouse or partner

From a sexual standpoint, healthy adult men tend to be most aroused by a visual succession of body parts and sexual acts. Men in general also seem to have a greater psychological capacity overall to engage in objectified, even anonymous sexual experiences, which are devoid of any relationship or personal connection. This is why men enjoy pornography and strip clubs -- venues that allow them to sexually objectify body parts.

Women, on the other hand, tend to be more aroused by sexualized and romanticized emotional connections between people more than body parts. In this way, women are more likely to objectify relationships rather than any particular visual image.

The basic idea is if you want polyamory (open relationships), spousal swapping or a "don't ask, don't tell" kind of relationship, go for it. Just make sure that your partner agrees to it up front. A mutual spousal agreement that it is OK to have sex outside your primary relationship is called having an open relationship, and extramarital sex in this arena is clearly not cheating. However, lying and keeping secrets about that same behavior while pretending to maintain a vow of monogamy defines infidelity.

Men most often cheat for one or more of the following reasons:
Having known lots of couples/friends struggling with one (or both) partner's cheating, it is clear to me, from experience, that the most workable definition of infidelity is the keeping of secrets in an intimate relationship.
When discussing with couples who feel violated by various forms of sex and relationship betrayal, the central theme of their pain is quite consistent. A betrayed spouse's greatest hurt comes not from the extra-marital sexual or romantic behavior (though that is no picnic to discover), but from the profound and often repeated betrayal of relationship trust by one's closest ally, confidante, and life-partner.

What They Don't Know Won't Hurt Them
Sadly, many men don't realize the profound effects that ongoing or repeated infidelity can have on the emotional life of a trusting long-term partner. Still others, lacking empathy, truly believe that their spouse would understand as long as the sex "doesn't mean anything."
Inevitably, most cheaters are eventually found out, and the resulting fallout is often much greater than anticipated by the cheater,

 consumed as he has been by his intellectual justification and denial. Sometimes, even when both members of the couple are committed to healing, the backlog of emotional damage and personal betrayal is irreparable, especially when a hurt partner is unable to regain the trust and emotional safety required to be intimate. For those of us who walk the tightrope of clinical work with such couples, these cases are often the saddest of all.

Why men cheat on women, are in most cases different to the reasons a woman would choose to have an affair.
Having a better and clearer understanding of the inner workings of a man's potentially unfaithful mind can help you in preventing the hurtful and often traumatic event in your relationship.
         And finally to end this gruesome piece, let me show you the dream of the modern man.....if only God put this in the box women came in. please don't laugh. (am laughing like a juju priest)

And I'll talk to you again soon
Your Friend,

 follow me on twitter @chrisxleonhart
facebook  :              chrisking leonhart
facebook page: The Lions Den (

subscribe free:        if youre viewing on mobile
click on ''view web version'' at bottom of page
the at the end of the loaded page enter your email in the
empty space and click submit or
click on the 'subscribe to posts (atom) at
the bottom of the blog, then click on the drop
down menu that reads "subscribe to this feed using"
and select your carrier e.g Yahoo or Google for g-mail
if you want to be notified