Showing posts with label questions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label questions. Show all posts

Sunday, March 5, 2017

GIRLS AND THE SECRET OF THE CUBE




Lions an Lionesses, that's how i ventured into cold reading oh..
Psychology or Kokology ... Palm reading is one type but this you
just have to try.....

The secret of the cube is a psychological game, its very tricky to
learn and execute but this is one mind game that most attentive and
level headed girls enjoy. I would suggest you wait until the first date
or till shes totally cool with you physically or via chats to do it,
because it takes a while to complete and you need an environment
where there are few distractions.

You can start by asking, "Hey let's play a game. I'm going to ask
you a few questions and your answers will tell me all I need to
know about you." Tell her to relax before you begin, then start. As
you read the routine, pretend I'm doing it on you so you can try to
analyze your answers afterwards.

"Imagine yourself in the middle of the desert. It's a really big
desert and you are the only person there." She may close her eyes
to better imagine this scene. "Now in the middle of this desert,
there is a cube. Describe this cube to me, however you imagine it
to be."

Ask about its size, its relation to the desert (on the floor,
floating in the air, etc.), and what material it's made out of.
Urge her to be as detailed as possible, and only continue when she
is completely done answering.

"In addition to the cube, there is a ladder. Where is this ladder
in relation to the cube?" Ask what material it is made out of and
how many rungs/steps it has.

"Next up is a horse. Where is the horse in relation to the cube and
the ladder?" Ask her about the size, type, and color of the horse.

"Now imagine flowers. Where are they in relation to the cube,
ladder, and horse?" Ask her about the quantity, color, and type of
flowers. Always give her time to provide rich details to get her
imagination going.

"Finally, there is a storm in the horizon. Is the storm coming
closer to you, going away, or staying still?" Then tell her that
the game is finished and that her answers are very interesting.
Feel free to hype up the upcoming analysis by saying you learned
something about her that you didn't expect.

When it comes to the analysis, all you have to know is that the
cube is a representation of her, the ladder is her friends and
family, the horse is her lover, the flowers are her future
children, and the storm is a big problem. With a general idea of
what each one means, and your understanding of the girl, you will
make up an analysis that is both believable and accurate.

INTERPRETATION:

CUBE:
The cube represents the player's image of herself.
A cube that is small in the perspective of the scene suggests that
the player thinks of herself as insignificant or modest while
a larger cube suggests the opposite. A cube on the ground indicates
the player is "down to earth," while a floating cube may indicate a dreamer.
The material of the cube is also of interest.
Generally, a large cube means her ego is large. A small cube means
insecurity, but keep the analysis positive in this case by saying
she is timid or not in possession of a large ego. The material of
the cube displays strength. If her cube material is strong and
solid instead of hollow, this means she is a strong person capable
of handling problems without collapsing, and so on. A soft cube means
she is hesitant and needs a lot of assurances before starting a new
task.

LADDER
The ladder is her support circle. The closer her ladder is to the
cube, the more she relies on her friends and family. If the ladder
leans on her cube, she relies on them as much as they do. If the
ladder is on top of her cube, her circle may be smothering her. If
it's far away, she doesn't rely on them much. Rungs on a ladder say
how many people are close to her life. A strong ladder material
says she can count on her family and friends more than if it was
made with weaker material.

HORSE:
The horse represents the player's lover. As with the previous objects,
the closer to the cube the horse is, the more important or intimate
(or possessive!) the love life of the player is. The horse can also
represent anything you are passionate about, and not just a person
The horse size says whether she wants a dominant or subordinate
male. A large horse means she wants to be led. A pretty horse like
a pony means she wants a metrosexual man. A small horse means she
wants to dominate her partner. The distance between the horse and
the cube and ladder says how close her lover will be to her life. A
horse in a cage (or otherwise immobilized) means she wants to
destroy you.

FLOWERS:
The flowers represent the player's children or future children;
it can also represent creative projects or clients like something
the player creates and/or takes care of. Flowers close to the cube
suggest a close relationship with children (or creations or clients),
while a beaten-down flower would suggest a bad or broken relationship with them.
The number of flowers says how many children she wants to have. The
closer they are to her lover (the horse) means the father will be
close to the children. I'm not sure what flower type is but you can
make it up to mean what type of gender she prefers or what she
wants her kids to be when they grow up.

STORM:
Finally,
the storm's movement signifies if a problem is coming or going
towards her and if she has to soon deal with something important or not.
The storm represents the player's current problems and
her attitude toward them. A storm covering the entire scene
would suggest that the player feels overwhelmed by current problems,
while a storm in the distance or a small storm would suggest
no major, unmanageable problems in the present, and possibly
an optimistic attitude toward the future. A static storm means a problem
that will be staying with you for longer than usual or forever.

SAMPLE.....
Let's do a sample analysis with answers that will be pretty
typical.

Say her cube is about four feet tall, made out of solid wood, and
slightly elevated off the ground. Her ladder is laying on top of
the cube, with ten rungs/steps and made out of metal. There is a large,
black horse that is making circles around the cube and ladder and
there are three yellow dandelions very close by. Finally, she
envisions a storm that is neither coming nor going.

For example if I knew that she is an artsy, independent type, here
is the analysis I would give:

"The cube is a representation of you. Your cube is large, which
means you have a healthy ego and a high sense of self-worth. You
like to keep your head up. The cube is elevated off the ground so
that tells me you're a dreamer. You think a lot and tend to lean
towards the creative side of things instead of the analytical. Wood
is a strong material, meaning you see yourself as strong as well.
It cannot be easily broken. For instance the cube could be hollow
but it's not.

"The fact that your ladder is on top of you means that others rely
on you for support and advice more than you rely on them. So
sometimes you feel smothered. Each step/rung represents a person
who you are close to, so you have a lot of people that place their
trust in you. The ladder is made out of metal, a strong material,
which says your support network is strong and dependable.

"The horse is your lover. Its large size means you want to be led,
and maybe even dominated. But the horse is not too close to the
cube and ladder, so this means you want space from your lover as
well.

"The three flowers means you want a small family. Yellow (as for the
dandelions) is a neutral color so you imagine at least one boy and
one girl. They are close to the cube and ladder which is good
because children should be close to you and your friends and family.
It's hard to tell from your answers where you lover fits in.

"Finally, the storm represents a problem. It's neither going nor
coming, which means that there may be an issue you have that is
staying with you indefinitely."

Because the cube game is involved, it is best you practice it on at
least five other people before you do it on a date. If you get lost
in your analysis, just shovel back what you already know about her
without being too obvious about it.

For instance if the guy friend you are doing it on for practice is
an alpha male type, tell him his cube says he feels confident with
his decision making and likes to lead. If your date is a really
insecure girl, tell her that she is sometimes filled with doubt and
goes through periods of uncertainty.

I've never had a girl who didn't eat up my cube analysis and it's
not because I was necessarily right, but because girls love playing
games that supposedly reveal their true nature. (By the time you do
the cube on her, she has done a hundred of those multiple-choice
personality quizzes.) Even if you are wrong, she will love telling
you how and why, so in the process you really do learn more about
her. If you have a girl get bored or flunk out before you're done,
then revert to my earlier statement about a girl needing to be attentive
and level headed for this to work. If my dear friend you're unlucky
to meet or have that type..what you do with her is "all yo' bidness"

After you're done giving her analysis, feel free to tell her what
your answers to the cube were when your friend (i.e. me) did it on
you. I guarantee you she'll be curious to hear it.

The cube game takes a lot of practice and homework but it's worth
it because it gives you experience with cold reading, a method of
spitting vague generalities that on the surface seem very personal
and accurate. Generally, the more complicated a routine, the bigger
payoff it has if you execute it correctly.

Before I knew how attraction really worked, I'd approach a girl and
talk about boring topics such as work or her favorite movies, and
then she would politely excuse herself from the conversation only a
couple minutes into it. But now I know better. When you talk about
more interesting topics, she sees you as more INTERESTING. Duh,
right? With a couple additional techniques, the "interesting" is
turned into strong attraction.

Once attraction is built you can get her number and take her on a
date later, or go for the one night stand (my preferred method).

For more indepth or extensive reading into the cube games secrets..
visit
https://www.scribd.com/doc/353009/The-secret-of-the-cube

                                             And i'll talk to you again soon,

                                                   Your Friend...

                                                                     ..Leonhart

Photos: google images
sources: psychology wiki, rooshv

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Day 2- The Valentino code

                     (For Players Only)

PLAYER, Danger!
Valentine’s Day is here again…But there’s danger. If you’re a player, you’re likely to get gifts from many of your girls. Remember that this is also an opportunity for those shy girls with a secret crush to reveal themselves and try to win your heart through a bold token which hints at what they really want ...YOU.


 If you have an office job, the same goes for any cute OLs (office ladies), or co-workers, that haven’t found the right TPO (time, place, and opportunity) to show their feelings. And, even if they are just being kind with no intentions, your girlfriend may not see it that way.
 






So, be careful about showing off your Valentine’s Day booty(gifts) – it could blow up in your face. Your Steady girlfriend will easily pick up on the little nuances in communication that will blindside you. Not only will she be angry at the girl for trying to move in on her territory, but she’ll be equally angry with you for not making it very, very clear, to whoever she is, that you are off limits.
Hiding behind a sheepish grin and pleading ignorance won’t help you here. Remember, she thinks of you as a player- player extraordinaire; and, a guy who pulls every girl’s heart strings at will, like you do with her. (Either that, or she picked a tame pussycat for a boyfriend.) 
                       

What About Your Other 4 Girlfriends?
If you’re dating multiple women, things get even trickier, especially if  Valentine’s Day falls on Friday, Saturday or Sunday. Each girl will want to see you in person and each of them will feel that if she’s really important then you’ll spend Valentine’s Day with her.
Many girls are too busy to be able to meet you on actual Valentine’s Day, or they may only be available to meet you for a short time. Other girls may feel that it’s important that you spend that night with her, so you’ll need some kind of excuse. If you know that Valentine’s Day will be hectic, then it’s a great idea to plan to meet up with some of your guy friends so that you are legitimately busy.
 

If you do decide to spend that day with a girl be aware that you may come home to a surprise. I once came home with a girl and was greeted by my house-help with a bag. Inside was a box of male undies and a nice card from another girl I was seeing who must have taken the time to drop them by even though she knew I was busy that day. I remember hurriedly closing the bag with the gift still inside while trying to maintain calm, cool, nonchalant demeanor. My heart rate was fluctuating wildly as I pulsated from dread, imagining how ugly things could have been if we’d shown up and run into her while she was making the drop, to relief that it didn’t happen.
I had one friend who found it so stressful, that he would start a fight a few days or a week before the big day and then make up and get back together with them after! Now, I’m not recommending this “technique” but I want to make sure you know all the options out there.
However, if you have set up your life in a way that you’re always a busy guy with an erratic schedule like me, you’re well positioned to handle Valentine’s Day or any other holiday. The randomness of your schedule will give you more freedom, because you won’t have to break any patterns. And as I will discuss in a subsequent article, it’s the patterns that give a person away.

 This article may sound doom and gloom, but if you take the right precautions and set your relationships up right from the beginning, you’re in for lots of Valentine’s Day treats.
And it'll talk to you again soon..
Your Friend 
......Leonhart

BBM PIN: 7AC6F967
TWITTER & IG : @chrisxleonhart
FACEBOOK: Chrisking Leonhart
FACEBOOK PAGE : Facebook.com/chrisking.leonhart.den
e-Mail: chrisking4u@yahoo.com , lordcommanderleonhart@gmail.com

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Questions to Test Your Relationship Compatibility



Are you and your lover thinking along the same lines? Here are some relationship questions that can help both of you understand each other better.



A relationship is all about compatibility.

Opposites attract all the time, but too many opposites and no similarities won’t really help a relationship succeed.

When you have small differences, it makes them cute.

But when you have differences in your approach to life or your ethics about relationships, it’s definitely not good for the romance.

One of you could compromise, but that’s not really an option for the long term, is it?

Are you in a relationship with someone for around a year or so?

Then these questions will definitely help both of you test your compatibilities and understand each other better.

Do you find yourself getting angry with your partner for no reason at all? Perhaps, there are some overlooked issues that you need to face together.



Relationship questions to create better love

Sit down with your partner on a lazy Sunday afternoon, ask each other these questions and have an open mind. To make it easier for your partner so they don’t assume any of these are trick questions, you answer first so they know your views too (risky though if it’s the man asking and answering first, women tend to customize their answers to resemble yours and to protect the relationship.. e.g when u ask how many people u dated in life and the man says 5…even if she’s dated an uncountable figure she’ll put it around or below the guys own figure).

Don’t let any questions annoy you and don’t ever clam up or go on the defensive. Remember, the answers to these questions should be truthful and help both of you understand each other better.

And by the time you’re done with the questions, you’d know more about each other and would also understand each other’s approach to life too.


#1. Name two of my closest friends.
 
#2. What was I wearing when we first met?
 
#3. Where was I born? 
 
#4. When is my birthday?
 
#5. Who is my favorite relative?
 
#6. What is my fondest unrealized dream?
 
#7. What is my favorite time of day for lovemaking?
 
#8. What was one of my best/worst childhood experiences?
  
#9. What do I like most to do with my time off?
 
#10. What is my favorite movie?
 
#11. What do I fear most?
 
 
#12. Which side of the bed do I prefer?
 
#13. What medical problems do I worry about most?
 
#14. What is my favorite romantic restaurant?
 
#15. Name one of my favorite novels. 
 
#16. Name two of the people I admire most.
 
#17. What is my favorite sex position?
 
#18. What spot on my body is most sensitive?
 
#19. What was my most embarrassing moment?
 
#20. What is my favorite outfit to wear when I want to look sexy? 
 
#21. Do I prefer texts or calls?
 
#22. What is my favorite holiday?
 
#23. What physical quality am I most attracted to in the opposite sex?

#24. When was the first time I had sex?

#25. How many kids do I want to have?

#26. What is the date of our anniversary?

#27. What did I think about you when we first met?
 
#28. When did we have our first kiss?

#29. What is my favorite getaway place?

#30. What is my favorite way to spend an evening?
 
#31 What is the ideal number of calls a couple should exchange in a day?


#32 Would you compromise your happiness for the success of the relationship?


#33 What’s your idea of a romantic vacation?


#34 What’s the single most important thing for a relationship to be successful?


#35 What would you define as cheating?


#36 If I cheated on you, would you ever forgive me? 


#37 Would you ever say sorry to me even if it’s not your fault?


#38 Are you friends with any of your exes?


#39 How should finances be planned between a couple?


#40 Do you think celebrating Valentine’s Day is corny?


#41 What was your first impression about me?


#42 Can you avoid flirting if someone attractive flirts with you when I’m not around?


#43 Do you think romantic gifts have to be memorable or do they have to be useful?


#44 How would you want to spend a special day with each other?


#45 What is the most special memory of us that you hold?


#46 If I told you to jump off a tall cliff and tell you that you’ll land safely because there’s a net you can’t see yet, would you blindly trust me and jump?


#47 Do you have to know all of my friends?


#48 Do you think past relationship secrets should always be kept hidden?


#49 Do you think confessions make a relationship stronger?


#50 Is it fine for a partner to use the toilet with the door open?


#51 After a break up, would you ask for your gifts back/would you give back all the gifts?


#52 Which love song best describes our relationship?


#53 Describe your perfect man/woman that you would like to date.


#54 In a relationship, what would make you feel happier, sharing or sacrificing?


#55 Would you lie to make me happy and where would you draw the line?


#56 What are some annoying habits of other couples that irritate you the most?


#57 Who would you prefer as a partner, a good looking person or an extremely clever person?


#58 How do you vent out your frustrations in a relationship?


#59 When was the last time I came in your dreams?


#60 If we went to a store to buy a couch and both of us liked different couches, would you still go with my pick?


#61 Is sex about constantly pushing the boundaries or playing by the rules?


#62 How often would you want to go out on a date with me in a month?

#63 What is your biggest sexual turn off?


#64 What do you find sexiest about a person of the opposite sex?


#65 What’s your wildest sexual fantasy that you’d want to try with me?


#66 Would you feel insecure if I spent a lot of time at work?


#67 How many sexual partners have you had in the past?


#68 If you were convinced that I was making a bad decision, what would you do about it?


#69 Do you like babies/how many kids would you like to have someday?


#70 When was the last time you disliked me?


#71 If someone attractive exchanges glances with you at work or out there, would you tell me about it?


#72 What’s the craziest thing you’d be willing to do for me?

#73 What kind of a parent do you think you’d be?


#74 When do you think a person is ready for marriage?


#75 What’s the one thing about me you’d like to change?


#76 In an argument, whose side would you take, me or your mother?


#77 Would you relocate for love?


#78 Would you be open to disclosing all your health issues to me all the time?


#79 If you’re having a bad day, would you want me to leave you alone or spend time with you and cheer you up?


#80 What’s more important, sexual chemistry or spending time together?


These relationship questions may seem tricky to your partner at first, but as long as you answer first and help your partner open up, both of you would be able to learn from each other’s answers and develop a better relationship over time.


TAKE NOTE HOWEVER…

  • If the couple really loves each other then they won't care if they aren't compatible.
  • Just because a couple doesn't have anything in common doesn't mean that they aren't meant for each other.

Warnings

  • Don't tell people that, just because they aren't compatible, they aren't meant for each other. That will make them mad.
  • Always remember that you can't always rely on a compatibility test when you are in a true relationship.

And i"ll talk to you again soon,
....... Your Friend

.....LEONHART

BBM PIN: 2AF6026F
TWITTER: @chrisxleonhart
FACEBOOK: Chrisking Leonhart
FACEBOOK PAGE : Facebook.com/chrisking.leonhart.den
e-Mail: chrising4u@yahoo.com , lordcommanderleonhart.gmail.com




Wednesday, February 6, 2013

VALENTINE AND ME


 

The Legend of St. Valentine
           The history of Valentine's Day and the story of its patron saint--is shrouded in mystery. We do know that February has long been celebrated as a month of romance, and that St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. But who was Saint Valentine, and how did he become associated with this ancient rite?

The Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred. One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.

Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons, where they were often beaten and tortured. According to one legend, an imprisoned Valentine actually sent the first "valentine" greeting himself after he fell in love with a young girl--possibly his jailor's daughter--who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter signed "From your Valentine," an expression that is still in use today.
 Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories all emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic and--most importantly--romantic figure. By the Middle Ages, perhaps thanks to this reputation, Valentine would become one of the most popular saints in England and France.


Origins of Valentine's Day: A Pagan Festival in February
While some believe that Valentine's Day is celebrated in the middle of February to commemorate the anniversary of Valentine's death or burial--which probably occurred around A.D. 270--others claim that the Christian church may have decided to place St. Valentine's feast day in the middle of February in an effort to "Christianize" the pagan celebration of Lupercalia. Celebrated at the ides of February, or February 15, Lupercalia was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus.

To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at a sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification. They would then strip the goat's hide into strips, dip them into the sacrificial blood and take to the streets, gently slapping both women and crop fields with the goat hide. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed the touch of the hides because it was believed to make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn.
The city's bachelors would each choose a name and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage.



Valentine's Day: A Day of Romance
Lupercalia survived the initial rise of Christianity but was outlawed—as it was deemed “UN-Christian”--at the end of the 5th century, when Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine's Day. It was not until much later, however, that the day became definitively associated with love. During the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds' mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of  February (Valentine's Day) should be a day for romance.

Valentine greetings were popular as far back as the Middle Ages, though written Valentine's didn't begin to appear until after 1400. The oldest known valentine still in existence today was a poem written in 1415 by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. (The greeting is now part of the manuscript collection of the British Library in London, England.)

Several years later, it is believed that King Henry V hired a writer named John Lychgate to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois.
Typical Valentine's Day Greetings
In addition to Africa and the United States, Valentine's Day is celebrated in Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, France and Australia. In Great Britain, Valentine's Day began to be popularly celebrated around the 17th century. By the middle of the 18th, it was common for friends and lovers of all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes, and by 1900 printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology. Ready-made cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one's feelings was discouraged. Cheaper postage rates also contributed to an increase in the popularity of sending Valentine's Day greetings.

Americans probably began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s. In the 1840s, Esther A. Howland began selling the first mass-produced valentines in America. Howland, known as the “Mother of the Valentine,” made elaborate creations with real lace, ribbons and colorful pictures known as "scrap." Today, according to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated 1 billion Valentine’s Day cards are sent each year, making Valentine's Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year. (An estimated 2.6 billion cards are sent for Christmas.) Women purchase approximately 85 percent of all valentines.

Choice in Love
Any person has a capacity to love if he is capable of behaving at all. But there remains a question of choice upon whom a person will bestow his power to love, his power to satisfy, make happy, help the other grow, if he wants to love at all. A person may choose someone on the basis of certain estimable characteristics. He may choose someone he thinks will give him much love.
bachelors would each choose a name and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage.


3 Common Criteria for Loving
.
  • Helplessness and need - It is easy to love another who is helpless and in need of a loving behavior without expecting anything in return. Hence it is easier to love the children who need care and protection more than the adult. When we love the children, we just give without expecting the same intensity of love we give them.
  • Conformity with the Lover's Ideals - It's entirely different when we love as adults. A potential lover must have good appearance, healthy personality, and good behavior which the other must confirm before love is offered. The concept of the "ideal wife" or the "ideal husband" may be a decisive factor in determining whom to select to love. A person may pursue another who shows the beautiful and ideal characteristics as of pleasing personality, tenderness, consideration, moral uprightness, including other complex traits like good health, emotional maturity, stability, and intelligence. Some sociologists gather evidences to show that people select mates on the basis of complimentary needs, like dormant men choose passive women, some men choose less intelligent women or women from lower socioeconomic status who will make them feel superior.
  • Ability of the Loved One to Reciprocate- Loving another adult is conditional. A person may not experience the desire to love another person until and unless the other person shows clear signs of a desire to love first. In other words, a person can be moved to love if, and only if, he has been first assured that he is loved. A would-be lover is afraid to take risk of being rejected, or is not willing to love, unless he sees some guarantee that his love will be returned.
The Need to Love and to be Loved

When we were born, we were helplessly in need of love from our parents in order to survive. We receive from them loving care, emotional displays of affection, and attention to our basic needs. Infants who were deprived of such, especially of a mother's personalized attention, grow in deviant ways, compared to infants who grew up in a foundling home with adequate physical care and adequate mothering.

a child who had not experienced love may grow into a psychopath who is incapable of active loving and has no conscious longings for love. If a child has had a taste of love, one that's just enough to feel it as good, he may develop what Levy called "primary effect hunger" and pursue love the rest of his life, at any cost.

The ability to love actively, is therefore an outgrowth of having one's love needs gratified earlier in life. A person whose needs are thwarted is a hungry person, seeking to be filled. When one is empty, he can hardly give. The healthy lover is one who is filled and who gives freely to his loved ones not only because of their needs but because of his abundance.



However, take note… no one is so full that he can love endlessly without receiving love in return. In mutual love, where the partners have chosen wisely, each can give freely what the other needs and each receives in return for the happiness and growth of both.
Valentine’s Day is coming up. I can smell it. I can smell the fake flowers bought hurriedly by nervous boyfriends from Shoprite; I can smell the desperation as singletons try and find someone – anyone – with whom to spend the evening; I can smell the fear. It is, in all honesty, a terrible day for everybody. Nobody wins, except perhaps Shoprite again and Deluxe Cinema’s. People who aren’t in a relationship get an entire 24 hours devoted to rubbing their noses in this tragic fact, and the people who are get to receive flowers they have no room for, chocolates they don’t even like, and teddy bears they haven’t appreciated since they were about 14 (none of which were what they hoped for, because,believe me boys, when a girl says ‘no, let’s not do presents this year’ she really, REALLY doesn’t mean it).

Unfortunately the presents, bought to spell out ‘I love you’, very rarely manage to convey such a complex emotion – in fact, they generally mean something else entirely. Flowers translate as ‘I completely forgot it was Valentine’s Day so I stole these out of an old lady’s garden when I was on the way to meet you’; chocolates translate as ‘I literally had no idea what to get you, so I bought you these’ and teddy bears translate as ‘I’m totally skint (broke) so here’s an ‘I love you’ teddy you can name after me ….(just as you named the last after your ex and the one before too…etc)’. Now, should I receive any gifts this Valentine’s Day – hoards of admirers take note – I should want something personal, something that says ‘I do actually know who you are and what you like’. A carton of Le’ roux or Andre, red wine or a keg of palm wine would be nice, for example. I do like my wine.
But this is exactly Valentine’s Day’s problem, if it were attending a self-help group along with a bunch of other seriously disturbed public holidays (May Day, for example – I mean, what on earth is that celebrating? What’s so good about May?) In such circumstances, Valentine’s Day would be forced to own up to the fact that it no longer has much to do with love, and that it was invented by the greetings card companies who saw a whole four months between New Year and Easter during which they had no way of squeezing money out of the innocent British public in exchange for pieces of shiny cardboard.
 Okay, I lie. That isn’t exactly how Valentine’s Day originated – it has a much nicer story than that (above). But the day has certainly been corrupted. These days it’s about proving yourself and your relationship to everybody else; it’s about not being the only one in your group of friends that has to spend the day alone; it’s about buying the biggest and most useless gift for your loved one, when really it should be about appreciating and celebrating your relationship. Although this in itself sounds a bit odd – why should we need Clinton Cards to tell our partners we love them? Surely we should be doing it every day already?
But I guess the point is that we aren’t. Much as I would love everybody to live in my world, in which cannabis and booze are good for you and people say ‘I love you’ all the time, reality just isn’t like that. Valentine’s Day has been turned into a business, losing much of its charm in the process, but in essence, I suppose, it might still be necessary. (Though for the record it is never necessary to buy a card so big it doesn’t fit through the letterbox – this does not prove your love, only that you don’t think ahead and like to embarrass your love by making him or her go down to the post office to collect it.)
The reason Valentine’s Day is such a failure, then, is because we forget its simple message, hype it up and inevitably get disappointed. Single people expect to be whisked off their feet (unlikely), people in relationships expect to be whisked off their feet (even more unlikely), and everybody forgets what it really means: constant, steady, reliable, lovely love. Not just romantic love, but every single silly type of love this world plays host to. The love we have for our parents, our siblings, our friends, our pets – all are equally important and equally undervalued in our busy, stressful lives and are the ones (not just a lover) who deserve appreciation on Valentine’s day, and Every day of our lives while they are still alive and with us.( I love you Dad)
I started off this article with its history and ended it wanting to expose Valentine’s Day, but I don’t think it needs exposing – I think we all know how silly it is. The real point is that even though we know this, we still partake in it. None of us, me included, are willing to get rid of it because we all hope that one day we will be whisked away to New York in a heart shaped plane to be wined and dined and taken shopping.
 
This is a nice dream, but save it for when you’re sleeping. and ask yourself: who do you love? And then tell them. Tell every last one of them because I can guarantee you do not tell them enough, and nothing says ‘I love you’ better than that. Except perhaps heart shaped planes, but I wouldn’t hold my breath. I doubt they’re the right shape for air travel.



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.....Leonhart

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