Thursday, April 17, 2014

RAPE 101

This is a Bloggersville Exclusive Short Drama on the recently concluded (but lifetime) campaign . #SayNoToRape
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RAPE 101
1. What is rape?
2. Who can be raped?
3. What factors contribute or lead to rape (why rape?)
4. What are the short/Long term effects of rape?
5. What does the law say?

Dr. Rufus:    Good day class, am Dr. Rufus and am going to be your new guidance counselor.

CLASS:     Good morning Dr. Rufus.

Dr. Rufus:  Who can tell me the main story in last night’s news-line.

FEMI: the boy who picked money on the floor and turned to a tortoise.

Dr. RUFUS:  no…. not that one.


SHAI: the man who was raped to death by 6 women.

Dr. Rufus:  great! That’s the one.
Now, we are going to discuss about “rape”.
Who can tell me what rape means?

ELSIE: Rape is when a man forcefully has sex with a woman.

Dr. Rufus: that is correct, and straight to the point. But is there anyone with a better and more expansive definition?
……..
No one?
…….ok.
Remember the news said a man died of rape from six (6) women? So Elsie’s definition is rather one sided don’t you think?


So, we will start today’s discussion class by answering those five questions on the board. Answering each question will help answer the next.

1.   WHAT IS RAPE?
Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse, which is initiated by one or more persons against another person without that person's consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion, abuse of authority or against a person who is incapable of valid consent, such as one who is unconscious, incapacitated, drugged or below the legal age of consent.
The elements that form the definition of rape under the ICC Statute are that:
  • "The perpetrator invaded the body of a person by conduct resulting in penetration, however slight, of any part of the body of the victim or of the perpetrator with a sexual organ, or of the anal or genital opening of the victim with any object or any other part of the body."
  • "The invasion was committed by force, or by threat of force or coercion, such as that caused by fear of violence, duress, detention, psychological oppression or abuse of power, against such person or another person, or by taking advantage of a coercive environment, or the invasion was committed against a person incapable of giving genuine consent."


Is that clear?

CLASS: Yes Sir!!!!

Dr. Rufus: Good… now to question 2.

2.   WHO CAN BE RAPED? (POSSIBLE VICTIMS)
A: Male to Female B: Female to Male C: Male to Male D: Female to Female.

That is to say, the categories of people that can be raped are as follows:

I) Strangers
II) wife/husband (spouse)
III) Friend/Acquaintance
IV) Child/Ward
V) Steward/Slave
VI) A Date
VII) Prisoner

We will stop there….for sake of time and space, any questions on Number 2?

TOPE: But Sir, we are aware that penetration is a pre-requisite to establish a case of rape, how does Female to Male and Female to Female come in here?

SHUGHAR: Sir, am a little confused about Category VII: Prisoner, is it the same with Category V of Slave?

Dr. RUFUS: Ok… who can help them…?

XAVIER: I think the provision in the first part of the ICC statute describing rape would answer Tope’s question if looked at critically. It explains that there is an invasion of a body (whether male or female) by the perpetrator, however slight of any sexual part of either the victim OR the perpetrator which means if the perpetrator is a woman and the victim a man, the penetration of his organ into hers still amount to rape by her! Also the tongue and fingers are included when it said “of any part of the body of the victim or of the perpetrator with a sexual organ, or of the anal or genital opening of the victim with any object or any other part of the body." I think that covers the Female to Female part.

Dr. RUFUS: Excellent! Am impressed already, the Female to female mostly happens in our Boarding schools and Prisons but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
And to answer your question young lady (Shughar). Slave Rape happened a lot in the past during the colonial Era and in places where people are bought and sold as Slaves to wealthy families or Merchants etc. While Prison Rape as the name implies happens in the confines of a cell or prison by a person’s cell mate or Prison Warden Etc. It’s not so far from Slave rape in War times when hostages are taken as POW’s (prisoners of War). Much will be explained in the next Question.

3.   WHAT FACTORS CONTRIBUTE OR LEAD TO RAPE (WHY RAPE?)
  
 Dr. RUFUS: To be able to understand the factors that contribute to rape one must first discuss the possible types of rape so we will do it together …let’s start from you Chris... Name and explain any type of rape you know.

CHRIS: GANG RAPE sir, usually by a number of men over a woman or a number of women over a man. This often happens when there is for instance an armed robbery and the robbers decide to rape the female victims and also in some cases where a man marries many wives and they connive to rape him like in last night’s news-line story.
          My uncle Babaolowo also told me a story of how some girls raped a boy who helps them get water. He calls the story A victim of the Gods.

Dr. RUFUS: Am curious as to how they achieved it.

CHRIS: from the story am guessing he was drugged because he accepted a cup of juice from a girl even though he didn’t see her open it or open it himself. Very wrong.

CEEFOUR: Sir another one is SPOUSE or MARITAL RAPE.
When a man/woman who is bound by marriage does not want to engage in sex with his/her partner and the other forces themselves in or devices a means to still have sex with said partner against their wish.
The man on last night’s news bit was a victim of this type of rape too. God rest his soul.

ELSIE: He asked for it, how will you marry 6 wives and keep in one house yet you will still be denying them conjugal rights because u still keep mistresses outside.

Dr. RUFUS: but does that make raping him right? Is rape ever right?

ELSIE: Any woman that rapes her husband is in her right oo.. for me.
      The real question here should be “why would a man rape his wife”

Dr. Rufus: Some Civilizations don’t even observe that as a crime. They believe in ultimate submissiveness of the wife to a husband which entails she be at his beck and call and never deny him conjugal satisfaction.

ELSIE: Such archaic and unreasonable cultures shouldn’t exist now?

BAMI: they do oh…and even in recent times if you notice the outlook to the issue by the religious clerics, police and the courts you will understand that they still promote such beliefs indirectly.

WALTER: it’s unfortunate, if for any reason your spouse refuses you sex when previously your drive was good. Its high time u sought help from experts and not resort to rape.

Dr. RUFUS: Well said.

MUDA: Question Sir, if a man and his wife are having sex and they have gone two rounds. The man demands for a third and she refuses, if he forces himself on her can we still call that one rape?

CLASS: hahahahaha

SHUGHAR: Haba Muda, You already answered your own question when you said “forces himself on her…”  
Sir, another bad one is CHILD ABUSE/MOLESTATION also referred to as STATUTORY RAPE.
This one has many faces. Forcing an underage (below 18 for Nigeria) to engage in any sexually geared activity by an adult or a more senior person to them amounts to child abuse. Fathers, step fathers, guardians, babysitters and neighbors etc. taking advantage of kids, wards, stewards also amounts to child abuse and molestation. Again, parents giving out their underage kids to greedy old beasts to prey upon in the name of marriage or anything.

XAVIER: That one is very annoying. To think that one of our own senators who joined in signing the child right act of 2003/7 went ahead to marry a minor at either age 12 or 13.

Adedoyeensola: Duro sibe o tie moo un to wan le, the so called senator has gone ahead to divorce the Egyptian girl he bought from his driver for $100,000 , she’s 17 years now and still a minor. He then married another Egyptian girl of 15.

HOUNGE: Jesus Christ! The same senator that appended his signature to the child right act ?

Dr. Rufus: My dear Students, the problem we have is that we have succeeded in copying the western lifestyle but have decided not to drop our barbaric attitudes and the worst is that we hide behind religion to perpetuate these evils. And the immunity granted them is another issue altogether.

Lawrence: Most of these kids never come back from the dark side after such inhumanity. Reminds me of the case of Dr. Gentle Adigwe who was abused and turned out as a rapist and sadist…like a chain reaction.

Gigi XO: You guys are forgetting the most common one joor, DATE RAPE.  Scum of the earth who are too lazy to learn their way around the opposite sexes sexual dynamics, attraction mechanics and love triggers end up resorting raping or trying to rape their dates.

Dr. Rufus: Why are you looking so fiercely at the guy?

ISAACOLA: Hahaha, Don’t mind her Sir, Women are the ones asking for it most times. After a guy has tried and tried and spent and spent, even to the point of helping you rent room when he’s squatting with his padi and helping u pay your school fees you claim u lost. Only for him to hear you have asked like 6 others guys you’re equally going out with for same thing and they give you. What do you expect a guy to do when he knows the cash has entered voice-mail. He go want to collect na!

CLASS: *selective laugh patterns in the air*

GiGi XO: imagine! So he should then rape her na abi?
Come are you sure you’re not a potential rapist make I begin dodge you oh because it’s often said most rapes are carried out by familiars.
I bow to you oo.

ELSIE: I remember poor Cynthia that died, very fine girl. Went to Lagos to visit her so called Facebook lover. Tragic incident… drugged, raped and killed.
I think rape should be seen as a capital offense.

SHAI: Talk Talk, are you the only one in this class? Every time Elsie and her feminist Yarns.
You didn’t mention that when u heard about the six women oh. If pesin like you become president Men go suffer. 
ELSIE :……….( mute. Ignores shai)

Dr. Rufus: that’s okay class. Let us move on.
Some of these date rapists resort to crude methods to achieve their aims like kidnapping with masks or drugging them with any of the following
a.    Gamma hydroxybutyrate (GHB)
b.   Rohypnol (Flunitrazepam)
c.    Methamphetamine
d.   Methylenedioxymethamphetaminne (Ecstasy MDMA)
e.    Ketamine
f.     LSD. (lysergic acid diethylamide)
Now am mentioning these drugs for educational purposes only
Don’t make me regret mentioning them. Purchase outside prescription (illegal) and use; carries a penalty by the law for both buyer user and seller.
And a warning to the ladies. There was a time when dates entailed perfectly planned outings with the aim of wooing a potential partner and so on. But it is now obvious to me that you young ladies now accept dates from virtually anyone especially when you are hungry for some expensive dinner and all that.
Therefore if you must go for dates, or clubs and parties etc. There are several rules and safety precautions you must live by


1.   Don't accept open drinks (alcoholic or non-alcoholic) from others who you do not know or do not trust; this includes drinks that come in a glass.

2.   When in bars or clubs always get your drink directly from the bartender and do not take your eyes off the bartender or your order; don't use the waitress or let somebody go to the bar for you.

3.   At parties, only accept drinks in close containers: bottles, cans or tetra packs.

4.   Never leave your drink unattended or turn your back on your table.

5.   Do not drink from open beverage sources like punch bowls, pitchers or tubs.

6.   Keep your eyes and ears open; if there is talk of date rape drugs or if friends seem "too intoxicated" for what they have taken, leave the party or club immediately and don't go back!

If these behavior modifications don't feel like enough protection, or if you don't think you can follow these rules on a given night, you do have another option. There is a brand new defense against date rape drugs that has recently been approved for use in North America but still scarce in Nigeria; it is a simple and inexpensive test kit that can be used to detect the presence of date rape drugs in drinks. The so called "Drink Safe Technology" is actually a package of drink testing strips or coasters that work like those litmus paper strips you use in Chemistry class. The strips and coasters change color when they come in contact with a date rape drug. The strips fit in your purse or pocket and can be used quickly and discretely. To find out more about "Drink Safe" visit the website at http://www.drinksafetech.com.

 Adedoyeensola: That one useful oh, but emmmm in absentia… prevention is better than resorting to pregnancy strip like test just because of one drink…Ahhh…I bow oh.

FEMI: I watched another type of rape that played out In one seasonal movie like that.. PRISON RAPE…. In whatever form it comes it is violent and very bad. In the first scene they showed the male section of the prison where a young Caucasian male who was otherwise innocent and thrown into jail was in the bathroom with a dozen other inmates. And they seemed to be watching him while stroking their manhood’s and laughing. He was shy and noticed some other inmates tied some kind of thread around their soap but he didn’t understand why. He noticed someone whisper to him “…don’t drop the soap” but he wasn’t hearing too well. In fear of uncertainty He kept on turning and observing them observe him till he didn’t know when he dropped his soap. Believe me when I say the scene that followed was terrible..as he bent down to pick the soap, one of the Huge inmates just grabbed his…

CLASS: (in different signs of disgust) Ewwww… Argggh STOP …..OMG!! Please stop there oh!

 FEMI: in another scene, there were two ladies in a cell and a third one was brought to join them. You can imagine the evils that those two did to her and forced her to do to them.
Subsequently; There was some sort of rukus and it led to a jailbreak. Those who instigated it broke into the female wing of the Cell block. The female wardens where captured along side some female inmates and brutally raped.

Dr. RUFUS: Phew! I think that pretty much describes prison rape…or could there be a more graphic representation?...
…No response… then you all are as stunned as I am, however more should be done about our prisons and the safety of our inmates. Even though they have limited rights they are still humans.
Now to the next one.


CHRIS: WAR RAPE Sir, in the past. Kings usually order their soldiers to pillage the towns of their enemies and rape their women. This was meant as a means of psychological warfare to instill heartbreak in the minds of the men of that kingdom and also sometimes to populate the conquered kingdom with their offspring while killing off the men. War rapes are rapes committed by combatants during armed conflict or war, or during military occupation often as spoils of war; but sometimes, particularly in ethnic conflict, the phenomenon has broader sociological motives. It is distinguished from sexual assaults and rape committed amongst troops in military service. It also covers the situation where girls and women are forced into prostitution or sexual slavery by an occupying power.

During war and armed conflict, rape is frequently used as a means of psychological warfare in order to humiliate the enemy. War rape is often systematic and thorough.
Rape is also now recognized as an element of the crime of genocide when committed with the intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a targeted group; however, rape remains widespread in conflict zones. There are other international legal instruments to prosecute perpetrators. However, these legal instruments have so far only been used for international conflicts, thus putting the burden of proof in citing the international nature of conflict in order for prosecution to proceed.
In more recent times, soldiers from various war zones either in form of allied or enemy forces sometimes rape women at will because they are armed and the people have fear instilled in them already… most times they gang up to rape these women who either end up dead or with torn sex organs and worse …deadly foreign diseases. These soldiers bring foreign diseases too back to the waiting arms and legs of their loving wives and girlfriends in their native countries.


Dr. RUFUS: We have made remarkable progress class. We can go on to Explain More like Incest rape where sibings or blood related individuals take advantage of their kin and also Blackmail where one can give in to sex due to fear that a secret being exposed would cause loss of something precious to the victim.
Now we will move on to the 

SHORT AND LONG TERM EFFECTS OF RAPE
SHORT TERM WE HAVE:
Physical injuries
Sexually transmitted diseases
Unwanted Pregnancy
Helplessness
Isolation
Vulnerability
Desperation.
Unsafe Abortions
Maternal Mortality
Feeling of powerlessness
Nightmares
Flashbacks
Fear
Guilt
Shame
Physical repulsion
Anger
Anxiety
Despair
Terror
Rage
Numbness
Confusion
Loss of control
Sleeplessness
Self-blame
Obviously, some of these can persist for a very long time. Some can also develop into longer term effects on behavior and emotional well-being.


LONG TERM EFFECTS
Stigma
Post-traumatic stress disorder
Obsessive-compulsive disorders
Depression
Anxiety and panic attacks
Self-harm
Para-suicide
Promiscuity
Lack of self-esteem
Eating disorders
Sexual problems
Physical problems
Drug and alcohol abuse
Alienation and aloneness
Never able to trust anyone
Suicide

All these and more comprise of the effects of rape both long and short term.

SO…WHAT DOES THE LAW SAY?
Initially, the law in Nigeria and other pats of the world concerning rape was narrower and also gender selective.
However, in summary the amended laws for rape now carry a life sentence which means if you’re a rapist or intended rapist you might want to reconsider. You’ll just throw your life away for minutes of what you tag as “fun”.
Other sexual offenses carry heavy punishments too.
I believe we have all learned a thing or two today… I will leave ou with this slideshow presentation of how other countries view and punish rape offenders. Till we meet again. Good day Class.

CLASS: Thank you DR. RUFUS
  
Different categorizations and maximum punishments for rape under federal law

USA
Description
Fine
Imprisonment (years)
Life imprisonment
Rape using violence or the threat of violence to override consent
unlimited
0 – unlimited
yes
Rape by causing fear in the victim for themselves or for another person to override consent
unlimited
0 – unlimited
yes
Rape by giving a drug or intoxicant to a person that renders them unable to give consent
unlimited
0–15
no
Statutory rape involving an adult perpetrator
unlimited
0–15
no
Statutory rape involving an adult perpetrator with a previous conviction
unlimited
0 – unlimited
yes
Statutory rape involving a perpetrator who is a minor
unlimited
0–15
no
When a person causes the rape by a third person
unlimited
0–10
no
When a person causes the rape of a child under 12 by a third person
unlimited
0 – unlimited
0–20
source

England
Life imprisonment
source


Scotland  
Life imprisonment
source

Sweden 
gross rape (4-10 years imprisonment)
ordinary rape (2-4 years imprisonment)
minor rape (0-4 years imprisonment)
source

Germany 
2yrs to Life imprisonment
source

France
20 yrs of imprisonment
source

Brazil
6 to 10 years imprisonment
source

Canada
Everyone who commits rape is guilty of an indictable offense and liable to suffer death, or imprisonment for life.
Everyone is guilty of an indictable offense and liable to seven years’ imprisonment who attempts to commit rape.
source

Italy
5 to 10 years imprisonment
source

Switzerland
10yrs imprisonment
source

Spain
4 to 10yrs imprisonment
source


Australia
Attempt to commit rape : The maximum penalty if found guilty of attempted rape is 14 years imprisonment.
Assault with intent to commit rape:  The maximum penalty if found guilty of attempted rape is 14 years imprisonment.
Sexual Assaults: The maximum penalty if found guilty of sexual assault is 10 years imprisonment.
 
source

 Russia
 5yrs imprisonment for minimal
up to 10 years if rape lead to suicide
source

 China
Having sexual intercourse with a girl under fourteen years of age is statutory rape, with a sentence of heavier punishment within the range of punishments for rape. Committing rape in China may result in sentencing of a fixed-term imprisonment from three years to ten years, and if one of a list of “serious circumstances” spelled out in The PRC Criminal Law happens, a fixed-term imprisonment from ten years up to the death penalty may be imposed.  The “serious circumstances” include (i) raping women or minors; (ii) raping a number of women or girls under the age of fourteen; (iii) raping a woman in public; (iv) Raping in rotation by more than two offenders; and (v) causing serious injury or death to the victim or any other serious consequences.
source

Pakistan
The amendments change the punishment for someone convicted of having nonconsensual sex outside marriage to imprisonment of up to five years and a fine of Rs10,000. Rape would be punishable with 10 to 25 years of imprisonment
source

Saudi Arabia
Death Penalty
source


Iran
Death Penalty
source


Iraq
life imprisonment.
source

Afghanistan
two methods prescribed under Afghan law are hanging and firing squad.
source



India
1. Rape of a woman who is under twelve years of age : Rigorous imprisonment for a term which shall not be less than ten years but which may be for life and shall also be liable to fine: Provided that the court may, for adequate and special reasons to be mentioned in the judgment, impose a sentence of imprisonment of either description for a term of less than ten years.
2. Rape of a woman, knowing her to be pregnant: Rigorous imprisonment for a term which shall not be less than ten years but which may be for life and shall also be liable to fine: Provided that the court may, for adequate and special reasons to be mentioned in the judgment, impose a sentence of imprisonment of either description for a term of less than ten years.
3. Gang Rape: Rigorous imprisonment for a term which shall not be less than ten years but which may be for life and shall also be liable to fine: Provided that the court may, for adequate and special reasons to be mentioned in the judgment, impose a sentence of imprisonment of either description for a term of less than ten years.
4. Custodial Rape: Rigorous imprisonment for a term which shall not be less than ten years but which may be for life and shall also be liable to fine
source



for Gang Rape
Pakistan had passed a law for punishment with death
source

 A rapist is a murderer and deserves whatever punishment …even death.
Be wise CLASS and….
#SayNoToRape

Written for Educational purposes by Chrisking Leonhart.

Kindly use the facebook comments instead of the default one thanks.

www.chriskingleonhart.com (THE LIONS DEN)
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Monday, March 3, 2014

HOW TO CHEAT AND NOT GET CAUGHT (MEN ONLY: READERS DISCRETION ADVISED).

·          www.chriskingleonhart.com/howtocheat.jpg
Obviously I don’t think cheating on a girlfriend is morally right, and I think it’s wrong to bang your girl without a condom and then creep without it too because you’re exposing her to diseases that could create an uncomfortable situation. However am gonna justify this post by saying this. Sometimes it’s best to know what to do in order not to lose something special when you can’t avoid the habit of creeping. When I want to cheat, I keep it locked down so tightly that it would take a lottery chance event to get me. The result is I get to fulfill my perverse needs while having something stable with a girl that I care for. That’s a win-win… unless she finds out. Here’s what to do to make sure that doesn’t happen:
1. Get started on the right foot.  
Do not get into that pattern where you must talk on the phone every day. To accomplish this you’ll have to state that you need your “space” early in the relationship that you don’t want it to get into that friendly boring zone where you’re talking about what time you woke up and what you had for lunch. She’ll honor your request but slip and send frequent text messages, which is fine—it’s easy to creep with another girl when all you got to do is send texts.
Also, if you want to actually have the ability to cheat, you need time not only to meet other girls but to take them out on dates. This means you want to get into no more than a twice-a-week date pattern with your girl, one date on the weekday and one on the weekend. Resist her efforts to see you more by saying again you need space and are the loner type that feels smothered easily.
2. Don’t give her access to your phone or computer.
  Remember This is how 90% of guys get caught cheating. They left their phone laying around, unlocked, and the girl finds incriminating text messages. It’s easy to brush off female numbers in your phone as old, but not a text message stamped yesterday where you confirmed fresh plans. Either delete the text messages manually before you see her or lock your keypad. Fail to do either and you will get busted eventually, guaranteed. Girls are savvy with cell phones and only need sixty seconds to sift through your messages or call history.
I’ve caught two girls messing around with my phone. Once I went to go wash my cock after sex and came back with my phone on the floor instead of the nightstand. The other time I spent the night at this half caste girl’s house and woke up in the morning with all my clothes gone. I walked around her place dazed and naked, wondering if I just got got, and found her sitting on the bathroom toilet going through all my shit.
For your computer, log off your email/facebook account when you know she’s coming over and then launch a different browser that you never use. While it would take time for her to sift through emails if you slip to the bathroom, girls go straight to the Sent folder to gather evidence. I’m certain that the female species plays dumb with gadgets and computers on purpose so that we leave our things laying around. Also lock down anything else that could get you in trouble like Skype (call history) and the secret dating apps you operate.
3. Don’t create a lasting impression with her friends. 
While some guys will argue that a way to win a girl is through her friends, I only find that to be the case with very young girls around college age—once she’s in her mid-20′s she doesn’t seek as much approval from her friends as before. If you’re meeting her friends for the first time then show up in an outfit you never wear and also a slightly different hair or beard configuration. You don’t need to wear a disguise but appear a little differently.
The reason is that her friends are spies and when you’re creeping they may spot you and then immediately rat you out. By looking different and not making an impression, the goal here is they don’t recognize you when you’re creeping. It also offers a layer of plausible deniability because you can say that you were experimenting with a new look when you met them and they probably confused you for someone else. Furiously deny it was you that they witnessed making out with another girl. You have no other choice, not matter how obvious it was you. Be like the United States government where photo or video evidence is required to pursue torture charges.
4. Do not mix dating venues. 
You want to have two parallel sets of venues to minimize cross contamination. If you take your girlfriend to the same bar as your creep girls, a bartender or regular may accidentally out you, or tip her off while you’re in the bathroom. We all know those don’t-date-him girls whose life mission it is to warn other women of cheating men. 
 
5. Don’t frequent her regular spots.  
This doesn’t need to be said but there is an exception: when one of her spots is a place you can get laid like a champ. Ajoihe!!!
In Enugu there is a club where, as of this writing, I have a 44% bang rate. This means every four times I went, I can bang or meet a Bangable girl. There’s no way I’m going to stop going to a place like that, but the success I had at this club could easily lead to my doom if I’ve truly decided to change.
6. Pick a friend who will be your go-to excuse for why you can’t hang out with her. 
 It’s best she has met the friend but I’ve invented guys as well. Be consistent and have him be the excuse whenever you didn’t want to hang with her. Examples:
“Friday I’m hanging out with Steve but how about Saturday?”
“Steve wants us to do fish night on Tuesday and to talk about some girl problems so let’s do movie night on Wednesday.”
“Sorry I didn’t answer I actually hung out with Steve in this lame club and didn’t hear the phone ring.”
Never allow her to join you with Steve (go out with u two), explaining that he doesn’t like being the third wheel. Add that you need guy time to do some male bonding, to talk trash and just be men.
What’s going to happen is she will develop a deep hatred for Steve because she thinks he’s keeping you away from her. That’s not a bad thing because Steve will be the channel for her hate. Feel free to milk this by making it seem like Steve has an influence over you since he’s “cool” and “fun.” Many of my friends in Nigeria (Enugu). would use me as their Steve and I can tell you that a dozen girls still hate my guts because of it.
7. Be mindful of when you blow your load. 
If your girl expects a gallon of cum on her face when you bang, and then this one time have a trickle or droplets because you just got done banging another girl, warning signs are going to go off in her head. Therefore regulate your horniness and sperm quantity. If you know it takes two days to recharge after a lengthy sex episode, then allow that much time before banging a mistress and then your girl. This is why when it comes to the weekend I always try to put my girl on Friday. If I bang another girl on Friday then I will show up in her bedroom on Saturday already sated and she will pick up on it.
8. Try to bang your mistresses at other places. 
You don’t want her to leave something behind like a bobby pin, scarf, hair strands, bangle, unique perfume scent, or blood. (Etc.). Also realize that a girl can tell the difference between a strand of her hair that is hers and one that is only 5% different. If you have to bang a mistress in your place then commit yourself to a CSI-like  clean sweep afterwards. Do not get lazy at this step. View your room from many different angles, get on your knees, and go sniffing around everywhere. Flush used condoms down the toilet and put the wrappers deep in the kitchen trash can. 
9. Construct and rehearse your alibi. 
Anticipate what questions your girl is going to ask and have simple, quick answers to them. For example you went out on a Thursday night after telling your girl you’d stay in. You met a girl in the club who bit the hell out of your neck in the heat of passion. You brought her home and she turned out to be a flooder (squirter/wet queen) and the sheets were soaked.  
Let’s focus on each aspect of the situation. If she asks why you didn’t answer the phone or call her back, say you wanted to stay in but Steve called and begged you to go out because he’s trying to get this girl that has an ugly friend. So for most of the night you had to talk to a fatty, but you wished you were with her instead. The club was so loud that you didn’t see the call and by the time you noticed it was too late to call back.
Second, the scratch on the back of your neck happened when you were in the kitchen. You left a cabinet door open and when you reached down to pick something up off the floor, you come back up right under it and caught your neck. Of course you will wear a collared shirt to cover it up and prevent her discovery, but if you never wear collared shirts around her then she will be even more suspicious if she catches the scratch. If you have a sister and can borrow her makeup this may also be a good play, or just go to the nearest department store’s cosmetic counter and pick up some foundation. I’m not joking.
Third, the sheets. In America you can do a wash and dry load quickly, but in countries like mine and in areas without a dryer it has to hang for quite a while. If she insists on coming in during the late afternoon before it dries, say how mad you are at the maid for lazying around and always washing on the wrong days.
You’ve closed the gaps. Otherwise it would be a very damaging situation. While subconsciously she will know something is going on and be moody and testy, consciously she will accept your airtight alibi and things can proceed as normal.
10. Don’t let guilt change your routine. 
After a successful creep you’ll probably feel guilty for cheating on such a nice girl. You’ll then feel compelled to make a surprise phone call, be more affectionate or loving, or even buy her something small like a chocolate truffle or rose. Resist this urge and proceed with your normal routine because girls can sense when you’re doing something out of the ordinary. She’ll know that you are trying to relieve your guilt, and while she may not automatically assume it’s from cheating, she’ll know you did something wrong.
When you get good at cheating, you also get good at identifying cheating along with the precursors of cheating, like when she meets another guy that she’s attracted to. In due time you’ll be able to piece together storylines. For example let’s take a look at this following hypothetical situation:
Friday: Your Igbo girl texts you from a party, says there are “a lot of Manchies.” Stays there late.
Saturday: You send her a text at 6pm but she waits three hours before replying that she was “sleeping.”
Following Friday: She says she’ll be busy Saturday, but doesn’t say with whom. Even though it’s easier to say “I’m going out with Stevie,” some girls have trouble lying.
Saturday night: She says she is free.
Likely Story: She met a Manchie on the first Friday and he asked her on a date or drink early Saturday evening. There he told her to keep the following Saturday free but eventually flaked on (disappointed) her. This means she’s actively looking for better. Either you step up and offer more of her core needs (without being needy about it of course), or you can say fuck it, get a couple more bangs, and move onto another girl.
Besides concrete evidence like a text message, email, or hair clip, your girl will never have 100% solid proof against you. By being an accomplished liar, avoiding sloppy moves, and covering holes that develop, it becomes very close to impossible for her to catch you. All this so you can have your cake and eat it too. I think it’s a good way for a man to live, but if your ass gets caught don’t blame me.
uh uh... closing my eyes
And I’ll talk to you again soon
Your friend…
 …..Leonhart