Let me clear you all on this... it could be a guy or girl in the zone and not only a guy as many presume. A friend zone is a happy place for a girl. It’s a place where she and a guy can sit together and talk about anything and get real friendly with each other.
For a guy, a friend zone is the worst place to be in, especially when he likes the girl who behaves like a friend.In a friend zone, the two involved friends of the opposite sex are just friends and nothing more. They project no sexual interest towards each other and behave in a completely platonic manner.
But can any guy ever be friends with a girl he finds sexually attractive? Or course not. He can try to be a friend with the hope of getting an occasional cuddle or a warm boob pressing hug now and then, but he’s always going to be just be a friend while she dates every other guy.
You may be trying hard to get close to a girl, close enough to tell her that you like her, but one fine day she turns around and tells you that you’re such a great friend, or worse, you’re just like a brother to her.
Ever been there?
I hope you haven’t.
It’s frustrating and demeaning, and at times, inevitable.
You may get really close to a girl with all the hopes of getting into her pants, but somewhere along the way, you may have taken a few detours that led you right into the friend zone.
Before going further, I would like to define the friend zone again. Understanding the problem can help with the solution...
The "friend zone" refers to a situation where there is a mismatch in romantic feelings between two individuals. For example, sometimes this is a sexual attraction mismatch, where one person is interested in romance while the other wants to "just be friends". At other times, the friends are already sexually involved (i.e. friends-with-benefits), but there is a commitment mismatch, where only one person wants a "relationship" as a committed girlfriend or boyfriend.
Overall then, the friend zone occurs in relationships where both individuals' emotional needs are not getting met. Someone is not getting what they want and need. Because all good relationships are built from a mutually-satisfying social exchange and trade... friend zone situations ultimately don't feel very good.
Therefore, when someone gets stuck in the friend zone, they have entered into an exchange that is not fair or equal. The other person is getting everything he/she wants...but the person stuck in the friend zone is not fully satisfied. In a nutshell, the friend zoned person sold himself or herself short. They gave their "friend" everything, without making sure they got everything they wanted in return.
HOW GUYS END UP IN THE FRIEND ZONE
#1 The Fear of Rejection
Another reason why people end up in the friend zone is that they are too afraid, uncertain, or passive. Many people approach someone they are attracted to as "just a friend" because it is easier and less emotionally-risky. In other situations, they may desire a committed relationship, but begin as a "hookup" or "friends-with-benefits" because that too is easier. In any case, these individuals begin the interaction by not clearly communicating what they want - and settling for less. Sometimes, this is honestly done out of insecurity. Other times, it is a bit "sneaky", using friendship to work their way in the "back door" - rather than simply facing rejection up front. No matter what the reason though, the process seldom works. Sure, there are exceptions of hookups turning into lovers, or "friends" blossoming into love, but those are rare - and usually involve some sort of mutual interest in dating to start.
Therefore, rather than getting stuck in the friend zone by being scared or devious, it is often more productive to state what is desired up front. It is better to make an even and honest trade. If the other person is not willing or interested, then it is better to simply walk away and find someone else who is. Deception doesn't avoid the friend zone...neither does settling for less than is desired.
Besides, asking for a date outright can be pretty successful. Research by Hald and Høgh-Olesen (2010) found that 68% of single men and 43% of single women agreed to a date request by a stranger of average attractiveness. Therefore, with a little help, it is more easy and productive to simply ask for what you want up front.
# 2 Being a wuss
The final reason why people end up in the friend zone is because they are simply too nice. They do all of the work. They make all of the concessions and sacrifices. They make it very "easy" for the other person to be with them. In the process, they also tend to get taken for granted, devalued, and forgotten (Tosin sorry o). Put simply, people value what they work to obtain and invest in. They have more attraction and respect for individuals for whom they perform favors (Jecker & Landy, 1969). They also find relationships more valuable and commit more fully, when they invest in them in various ways (Coleman, 2009).
Therefore, by doing all the work, an individual puts himself or herself "in" the friend zone. When they do all the investing...they develop all of the loving feelings. The other person does not.
A guy falls into a friend zone for very obvious reasons. He behaves like a friend. And he never lets the girl know that he has more than friendly intentions on his mind.
And soon enough, the girl loses all realization of the fact that this guy has a package down there. And he just becomes another sexless thing she hangs out with all the time as a platonic friend.
So why do some guys end up as friends instead of boyfriends or sex buddies? Here’s why.
#3 They get too close. Getting too close to a girl on platonic grounds will never help you. You may assume that it’s the easiest way to get a girl to know you better. She’ll definitely get to know you better, but only as a friend.
#4 No sexual chemistry. If a guy likes a girl, he has to make it subtly obvious that he’s sexually interested in her. If a guy behaves like a pushover and a doormat, no girl will feel even a tingle of sexual chemistry. I've escorted my friend Oluwatosin (crawler) to drop off a girl he liked so much at another guys place. She called him up, asked him to come over and when he did....on her request we chauffeured her to this other guy... i felt like crying.
#5 The girl’s not attracted to the guy. This sucks,
but this is the most common scenario. The guy’s probably creepy,
annoying or just not good enough to be her boyfriend.#6 The guy thinks she’s too good for him. At times, a guy may genuinely believe that the girl he likes is way too good for him. And instead of hitting on her, he secretly lusts for her, but gives up on pursuing her. Could you ever live with yourself by just being the friend of a sexy girl who dates every other guy but you? And while looking at her pix you probably beat up your manhood every night till it cries. (hahahaha)
#7 He plays the true friend card. It works in the movies all the time. The girl has a best friend who’s always there for her. She goes ahead and dates every single guy in the world, and finally, at the end of the movie she sees her true love in the form of her best friend. How touching! And that’s why they call it the movies. In real life, you can’t become a girl’s boyfriend just by behaving like a best friend.
HOW TO AVOID and GET OUT OF THE FRIEND ZONE
#1 Flirt
The main difference between a friendship and a romantic relationship is intimacy. If she views you as a friendly person she can vent to about her problems you will remain in the friend zone, but if you start to make moves and flirt with her, she may start to show some interest with you. Ask her out on a date, this is especially useful in the early stages of the friendship, but may be awkward if you have been friends long-term.
#2 Distance yourself and make her want you
Just like men, women want what they cannot have, which means if you are always at her disposal then you will remain just her friend. Try working out, build muscle, lose weight, and maybe even further your education to make her feel that you have more value. Keep your distance with her during your self improvement stage; this may make her approach you for a relationship instead of the other way around. However, if you stay there to talk to her as just a friend you will never be able to get out of the friend zone.
#3 Stop talking to her as a friend
#4 Be a friend without behaving like her other friends.
Don’t talk nonsense for hours or spend time talking about her problems in life. Talk about places she visits, movies she’s watched, and her plans for the weekend. Talk date talk and she’ll sense the chemistry in the air.
#5 Try to talk to her when she’s alone. If her other friends are around, talk to her if you must or just avoid her. You can’t really hit on a girl when she’s surrounded by a bevy of friends.
But when you find her alone, make sure you turn on your charm and impress her. See her alone? Chat her up. And if one of her friends come by, grumble audibly in a funny manner and say something like “just when I thought I was going to get some alone time with you, this guy pops up out of nowhere!” and just laugh. She’ll be confused and wonder if you’re being serious or just joking.
But she’ll get the hint that you like spending time with her alone. Make it obvious that you like spending time with her in whatever way possible, but don’t ask her out or tell her you like her just yet.
#6 Compliment her when she deserves it.
Flatter her pants off. If she looks good, tell her she looks hot. If you see a hint of cleavage and she catches you staring, just laugh, apologize and tell it you couldn’t resist it. Add a few funny sexual remarks and you’ll never get into the friend zone.
#7 Touch her and treat her like your girlfriend.
But do it respectfully though. Clasp her hand while crossing the street and open doors for her when it’s just the both of you. Make her feel like a queen, and she’ll love the attention. But when her friends are around, don’t give her any preferential treatment. Let her realize that you’re special to her only when it’s just the two of you.
#8 Make her feel special and exclusive.
Gift her something small and personal, but tell her to keep it a secret. When you create secrets, you build sexual chemistry and suspense which leads to romance.
#9 Ask her out and change the topic.
When you’re talking to her for a while, ask her out for lunch or a few drinks. See how she responds. But within a second, change the topic. Don’t wait for her to answer. It’ll seem like a joke, but it’ll still make her wonder if you really do want to date her. Don’t make things awkward by waiting a while before saying something else. Keep it simple, keep it funny and yet reveal all the dirty thoughts in your mind, and change the topic immediately.
And i"ll talk to you again soon,
....... Your Friend
.....LEONHART
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very very interesting piece bro...you just rescued a guy from the friend zone...
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